Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

[zonedout]

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture

Hi roundabout

Reastie I get how you feel it is silly to not go to a school because of one mums attitude to sickness but I get it and I would be feeling the same.

My dc go out and about for dinner/friends houses and I didn't even think about their kitchen standards! Thanks for that thought , they do go to my nans once a week for dinner and they sleep over, my nans house is really not the cleanest and my nan doesn't wash her hands after going to the toilet (she doesn't even shut the door) and she has a dog with a meh attitude to picking up dog shit and washing her hands. She also cannot cook very well but usually does them oven food so not hard to mess up. If I really think about it I'd never let them go instead I chant good for their imumune system over and over again. They also have hand washing before anything and after loo drummed into their heads where they couldn't forget. I keep my fingers crossed a lot to.

I always feel utterly exhausted in winter too and I'm sure it's because I'm always on high alert, waking at the slightest noise and not relaxing. I'm struggling to lose weight as I'm going for packaged food with a high sugar content because its safe, quick, if I fancy chocolate and biscuits I can't be ill and I'm using sugar for energy. As a result I look awful and am slightly overweight as the baby weight from ds2 is just not shifting.

Yes santa I'm also quite sure we pick up more bugs in winter due to feeling tired, run down and miserable.

Ah, talk of d&v in the playground, a few missing from dd2's class today , i have ordered probiotics for the dd's in hope they will help (they took them last year and avoided the bug so it has to be worth a try). Realy not looking forward to helping at the christmas fair on sat (4 hours stuck in a classroom decorating cakes with germy kids) . I'm now quite pleased dd2 has a hospital appointment on friday as she will be away from the bug at school, i'm keeping her off all day so we can go and get her some new glasses.

Marne - which prebiotics did you get. I got some earlier in the year, they are a powder you dissolve in drinks but dd1 hates taking it. Wondering if they do yummy sweet style ones like the Bassetts multivits.

Will find you a link, took me ages to find some nice ones as they dont make the ones i had last year (these looked similar).

Spoke to my sis at school pick I and she really has been quite ill poor thing and my bro has had it too.
(Will be avoiding them for foreseeable future!)
Wet pro biotics I do take them when I remember.
Also feel off today but not sure whether its due to dh and my parents being away at the same time.
There are people I can call in an emergency so I shouldn't be worries (but I am)

If anyone has any probiotics they can recommend for a 20MO and me (I can't swallow tablets) please let me know as I'd love us to take them.

Bad your poor sister, I hope she gets better soon

I've had a major wobble today. Another student at school where I work sent home with a tummy bug again today. I've had an off tummy all week end which I think I can put down to stress and anxiety of worry of getting a tummy bug. I just feel like crying and I can't take another day let alone week at work with this. I don't know what to do. I feel like going to work I'm putting myself at huge risk of getting ill. I just can't cope with this any more

here postage is high but they are cheaper than most places, its quite hard to find kids probiotics in the uk (though i think these are shipped from outside the uk).

Xposted marne might get that for myself but DD can't take it for another few months yet. Are they chewable or swallow whole type of tablets?

evening all

spoke therapist.he was stunned id manage to sort ds,angry dp avoiding me.he also interested in our linkshe going to investigate the sucess rate of treatments and get back to me...i said id be happy to just function but fret and that you guys are holding me together around the edges.he glad i have found a place of understanding,sympathy and acceptance

regarding playdates for older kids-my eldest lives with her dad and he a bit mah regarding hand washing before eating but my rules have stuck fast and she always does,gelling if out before ramming in fast foo
dd2 does occasional playdates at friends in teh summer months-i have a batch excuses come winter.ds isnt interested in other kids homes and neither is little zoo

id love to home school my kids,putting them into rainbows/beavers for interaction and plenty trips to parks

have spoken to school and they are thinking about letting ds stay at home for a bit while we wait to see peadatrician.i am adamant he wont be in as his immune response isnt gran and even just cols are leaving him wiped out.he is still resting a lot.thank goodness he likes to read so is easily amused!

restie- i feel your pain, i would be the same and i would be tempted to stay at home for a few days (or get signed off for a week), i have always been lucky with work (when i was working) as i have always worked with food so the 48hour rule is very strict and if you have had D&V you need a doctors note to say its ok for you to return to work.

I would happily stay shut in the house for 3 months to avoid the bug but i know it would not be right to let my dd's think its ok to avoid everything that scares you .

Does anyone else question their kids as soon as they come in from school? i always ask dd1 'if all her friends were at school today?' i think she gets fed up with me asking. Luckily her class seems to be ok but theres a couple of in dd2's class but i cant question her as she doesn't notice who is there due to her ASD.

Dh just called to say he's stuck in london and wont be home until 9pm , hate being on my own as i get more anxious (even though he's not much help anyway).

hugs all round

restie- they are chewable and if they are similar to the ones i had before they taste ok too, Holand and Barret (sp) do some strawberry ones for adults which are ment to be good or you can get the probiotic drinks (but these probably work out more expensive in the long run). I think for under 2's you can only give the powder but you could give probiotic yoghurt, our local shop sells really nice (but expensive) probiotic yoghurt that tastes yummy.

Kidzprobio are what I use for dc.
They are chewable tablets and are black currant. They actually don't gp taste too bad at all.
Reastie...could you get signed off with stress? It's awful to feel so anxious all the time :(

So...both kids fed and bathed.
Early night for them tonight!
Dishes done. Just need to prepare ds1s packed lunch for tomorrow.
They go to their GPS on a Tuesday so I will get a bit of a break (?)
Planning a day of trashy tv and sofa time...feeling very sorry for myself today :(
Ds2 has just requested some lady gaga to be out in for his nightly booty shake!
:)
I have so much to be thankful for. I need to get a bloody grip :(

We all need to get a grip, we can get through this winter (trying to be positive), before we know it summer will be here (if we get a summer) and bug free .

Less then 5 school weeks left to get through before christmas is here .

Sorry Marne...I didn't mean to imply I think you guys need to get a grip.
I don't.
But my anger at myself is huge at the moment.

Thank you for the hugs. They are much needed! Tbh I partly hoped the GP I saw on Friday would sign me off. I got through last week knowing I was seeing her on Friday and tbh I couldn't think further than the appointment, sort of thinking that I wouldn't have to deal with it. She didn't mention it though. But then, I was too upset to say how it affects me and how much work is a problem. I just managed to utter something about I struggle to get through the day and can't cope with a winter of worrying about germs and bugs and it affects me so badly (but not specifically how and what I do to avoid). I don't know how bad you have to be to be signed off . Part of me feels like if I were then it would make going back to work harder as I'm giving in to the phobia by not working IYKWIM. I see her again next Monday, so a week to get through until then. I work 3 days a week and have 12 days of work to get through before christmas hols.

Bad- i do think we all need to try and get a grip, when i think about this stupid phobia i think how silly it is to be scared of something that most people just cope with, and how silly it is that we get so anxious all winter about something that might not happen, but we cant help thinking the way we do, i just wish we could deal with it like everyone else . I hate thinking about it every day, being scared of going out incase i see someone being ill or i catch something, it makes me feel sad when other people are out having fun (drinking, eating out, using public transport) without even thinking about getting ill.

Yes.
I feel the same.
I can't even pinpoint when it became a problem for me tbh.
My mother has huge health anxiety...I nursed her through 2 nervous breakdowns in my teens and early 20s.
She ended up at a and e with my poor dad last weds morning...she is coeliac but won't stick to the gluten free diet and stopped taking some meds she was on and so panicked when she got bad stomach pains. Sigh.
It's an awful thing to say as I love my mum but I don't ever want to be a burden to my children :(
I am by nature a coper - I think that's why dh reacted as he did. I think he finds it ridiculous that a 40 year old who can deal with blood, needles, ops without anaesthetic etc is such a coward wrt vomit.

Now dd1 is moaning that she has a head ache and cant go to sleep, i hope dh gets home soon, dd2 wants to eat jaffa cakes in bed (which i have refused).

Sorry to hear that Marne.
Only 90 mins now til he is home?
Dh back weds - really hope his flight isn't delayed!

...and I dint blame your dd2 wrt the Jaffa cakes.
They are scrummy :)

I always worry dd2 will eat until she's sick (she could easily eat a whole packet of jaffa cakes), she doesn't seem to know when she's full, the only way i know if she's poorly is if she stops eating (so at least i know she's ok tonight). I think dd1 is just playing up because dh isn't here though she has got red cheaks (maybe i have the heating up too high).