Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

[zonedout]

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture

If its the same bug it should give them immunity :) so hopefully for your sake it is. I'm now worried my dp has had the bug that's going round his work now but can he still bring the germs home to me?
I hate people that don't care :( makes me so angry that's why so many people get ill

If it was norovirus they can have immunity for a year (sometimes even longer), my dd's have never had it more than once in a year.

I had little panic this morning as dd2 has been invited over a friends house on wed and one of the children in the house was sick last week (her mum said it was probably a migrane). Also a few posts on fb today about tummy bugs.

As soon as i hear someone is ill i feel like keeping the kids at home and locking the doors, i even hate doing the food shop (rushed aroud Tesco's this morning grabbing enough food to get us through the week so i dont have to go out again), i do all my christmas shopping early and most online so i dont have to be around all the winter germs.

Fingers crossed we can all get through the week bug free.

I keep ending up on the threads about vom urgh it's like some sort of fascination/horror film.

Apparently though I don't love my dc as I won't have them sleep in my bed if they have a bug.

I'm the same (feel drawn in by these threads), i am trying to keep away.

My kids dont sleep in my bed if they are sick, if they have a cold then thats fine but puking kids must stay in their rooms (to contain the illness). I dont think it meens we love them less, who would want a child being sick in bed with you?

Well I was wrong!
It was a different child who was sick on Friday....and guess what? It's a child my ds2 plays with everyday (weeps)
He was back today looking ok, but his mum says he has lost weight, poor thing.
I don't think what my 2 had was noro...they both had it when they were small and it came out both ends!! Last month they were both just sick. Think ds2 may have had a runny bottom, but not bad.
Was reading a fascinating article a few weeks ago re: cleanliness and how the UK is one of worst in the world for hygiene...I.e people washing hands after foing to the toilet and before eating.
I think there's a link to that and the spread of noro. Other countries don't seem to get the waves of it that the UK do.

inneed completely agree with marne - when I was ill as a child my DM would sleep on the floor in my room with me. On the other side of the room. And she was a nurse who worked close to ill people all the time.

I'm excatly the same about a morbid fascination with having to look up the ill threads etc, it's like I read them practically peeping through my fingers. I don't want to read it but I can't not!

I also hate it when children go to school etc when ill and contagious. I had a student in the other week who was really ill but his mum had refused to pick him up as she was working and the school refused to keep him in the sick room as he wasn't going home

Are we really badvoc I hear it a lot about our attitude with hand washing ect but I don't see it personally. Maybe it's to do with dogs (don't shoot me down dog lovers) most people (big generalisition) with dogs don't have a very clean house and there are lots of dog lovers in the uk.

marne It's terrible the pull they have!!!

Xposted bad typical!! I didn't realise UK were so bad for these things. Was it an online article? (so I can read)

It was def on the bbc breakfast news programme and I saw an article in the bbc website too I think.
I often see people leave public loos without washing their hands. Yuck.
Most people I know don't wash their hands before eating either...I insist on it.
I keep a bottle of anti bad gel in my bag...is it really no good? :(

Oh reastie...what kind of parent would refuse to pick their sick child up?
That's really upsetting.

inneed I know the thread you're on about and they are just mummy martyrs, who in their right mind shares a bed with anyone who is puking? It's madness.

I also have a morbid fascination with the threads and then spend the rest of the day worrying.

I had to take ds1 to the dr. I wouldn't let us sit down until there was a totally free bench and won't let anyone touch anything. Nearly had heart failure as someone sat next to us but they were waiting for the nurse not a dr and was older so I'm thinking flu jab. Good job I did take him as he's been having a mild but prolonged asthma attack so we need to up his inhalers.

I'm not saying I don't believe you badvoc and now you say washing hands before eating it's starting to click. I find when I'm out and I say to the dc to go and wash their hands then friends will tell their dc to wash their hands to, but I'm 99% sure if I never said it first it wouldn't get mentioned!

That is terrible to leave a sick child at school.

I'm actually getting a bit of a flaming for saying I don't sleep with my dc when they're sick, I never realised the majority of people do do that.

Thanks santa mummy martyrs

I hate public loo's but i have to use them (bladder problems), i only use the cleanest ones, i always wah my hands and then try not to touch the door handle on the way out (will open with my elbows or wait for someone else to open it) .

Realy anoys me when people send ill kids to school, more than often its parent who work (cant take time off to look after them). I complained when my dd's were at another school as a little girl was sick at lunch time (she was on dd's table) and was back at school the next day, i went to the head and explained that she is probably contagious and that if dd2 catches it we will end up in hospital with her', the head refused to call her mum and told me 'if i was worried about dd2 then i could take her home' . Luckily this school is a bit better and do say '48hrs' although people dont always stick to it.

It's ok indeed, I didn't mean to imply you didn't believe me, just trying to remember where read it/saw the article.
I must admit I do sleep with mine when they are sick.
I couldn't leave them on their own ill and frightened, but as I said upthread, i dont think my emetophobia is as bad as some of you suffer with.
For example, I will use public loos...I try to avoid it but I can do it.
I will eat out, but rarely and what I consider "safe" food.
I try not to let it limit my social interactions as being an emetophobe is bad enough without being isolated and lonely too :(

I would be really if that happened and I knew about it marne

Esp with d&v how embarressing if something from either end came out in class.

Ime most parents ignore the 48 hour rule Marne
Their work is obv so much more important than their child's health or anyone else's child for that matter.
He do they know there isn't an immuno suppressed child in the class?
Oh, it makes me so mad!!

I stayed in all friday and saterday just incase ds had a bug (which I really think he didn't) even though he was bouncing off the walls and we were all fed up. I also didn't let dd out with her friends just incase. And then some parents just don't care and send them in/take them shopping/park argh.

I am allowed to take dd2 out of this school if a child is sick in class (last year dd2's ta called me as a child was sick and she was worried about dd2 getting it but i was brave and i let her stay, after all she had probably already been in contact with the bug). I dread her catching it because we cant get any meds into her and she refuses to drink so dehydrates quite quickly and then we end up in hospital, last time she had it she was being sick for 4 days (took her to hospital on day 4 as dehydrated) and it took her 2 weeks to recover .

The other parents dont seem to care though, they just want their kids out of the way so they can go to work or get on with what they want to do child free.

Can I join pls, I've been suffering with emetophobia for varying degrees my adult life. Last year I coped quite well, despite us getting a bad bug (I wasn't sick but had taken meds) this year I am more anxious anyway so am obsessed with it. Dd2 & I met up with a friend and her baby fri tea time, friend then rang me sat to say the baby had been sick all day & she hoped she'd not infected my dd2. My thought selfishly was about the baby infecting me :(. Friend then txt me last night to say she has got it too, I have been in a panic all night & feeling stressed to the hilt at the moment. My dd1 has been suffering from a post viral illness all year so all year I have been obsessing about one health problem or another. When she's feeling bad she will complain of stomach pains & feeling sick, I end up quizzing her over in what way does she feel bad & is it the normal ill type or different. Poor kid all she wants is some sympathy!

I am at how many parents, IME, don't even know about the 48hr rule, let alone the schools failure to implement it.

Those with older (than my DD) children - how do you cope/manage with them going to friends houses and eating there when you have no idea on the parents kitchen hygiene? How do you manage with eating out with them, or other people taking them out to eat? How do you cope with them going to friends houses when you don't know if anyone in the house might have (or recently had) D&V? I don't know how I'll cope with sending DD to nursery let alone all this!

One of the schools I'd like to put DDs name down for I know a parent who will have a DD in the same year as my DD, and said other DD will get in as her older sister is already there. And I know this mother will send her child in when she is sick as she does that kind of thing. I'm genuinely considering not sending DD to this school because of the other parent as my DD and her DD will be in the same class. I realise this sounds insane (especially given there will be mothers like this wherever DD goes) but I know you get why I worry so much. We are contemplating DD going to private school and part of me wants to send her there in the vague hope the mothers don't have to work (as they have lots of money) so can afford easier to take children off when they're ill. But realistically I know this won't be the case.

Honestly? Private school parents will be just as bad as state school parents wrt this.
I once knew a teacher at a private school and he had to leave - he was just so distressed by parental attitudes to sick children or children with mental health issues :(
I know why you are worried - you know I do - but we cannot control our children's interactions, ESP as they get older and more independent.
My ds2 got noro when he was 13 months old. Was hideously ill for 2 weeks. We have no idea where he got it from. None. His older ds didn't have it, he didn't go to nursery/ baby group etc...it's still a total mystery to me. 3 years on!

My dd's rarely go to friends houses, dd1 is 8 and went to a friends house last week for the first time, dd2 is 6 and next week will be her first time. I tend to stay clear of play dates in the winter and we rarely have other kids over (would hate to have to look after a child that became ill at my house). I'm not looking forward to wed as i have to go with dd2 until she settles (have a cup of tea with the mum) and will have to take dd1 with me.

Welcome roundabout, so sorry you have this horrid phobia too . Hopfuly we can all support each other through these winter months xxx

Welcome roundabout.
We know how you feel.
This time of year is rough.

Bad I know I know re: private schools. It's not the only reason why we are thinking about it obv, it's just an extra thing that crosses my mind. But I also wonder if because parents have paid for their children to go there they are less bothered about them going when ill as they feel entitled for them to be there IYKWIM. I work in a private school and last week we got an email from the head warning over noro and the symptoms we need to be on the look out for, we had nothing about how to stop it spreading (eg handwashing) and that students shouldn't be in school for 48 hrs after symptoms stop. To me it's obvious this sort of thing is just as important for staff to be reminded of than just to look out for symptoms!

He roundabout