Sorry

[GracieLoo]

sorry don't know what to do. It's got too much, I hate myself. Taken weeks worth of venlafaxine and some ibuprofen. Phoned cmht out of hours but they said I'm not on their caseload. I'm scared. Shall I just go to bed

Me too V. Please let us know how you are Gracie

I'm at the hospital, don't want to leave my little girl, why do I do this. Everything's so hard. Really sorry and thanks for support.

Oh Gracie, wishing you much strength to get through this. Don't leave your little girl, get well and don;t leave her x

Gracie please dont be sorry youare in the right place and are onlygoing to be away from yourwee girl a short while - she will be fine and so will youbecause you have each other. Please know that we are here foryou if you want to talk-tomorrow when you feel a bit better. Take care love x

Oh good I can go to bed now, please don't feel sorry you are not thinking clearly just now. Be kind to yourself, you did good, you posted here, you went to hospital, I will check in tomorrow x

Sorry that sounded so crass I think I am over-tired, or over-awake

Very Un-Mumsnet but (((hugs))

well done for going to the hosp gracie. how are you doing? been concerned about you

Well I had to stay at the hospital until midday today, as my headrate was too fast and they wanted to give me two bags of fluids through a drip and speak to the crisis team before I left. It all feels strange and unreal. I'm now trying to get on with things like nothings happened but keep dropping off to sleep. Seeing my mh sw on wed anyway so expect she will have been told.

I'm glad you're ok, and back home again. I hope you will be given more support now. I'm glad someone was around on here last night when you posted. Take care

I meant heartrate. I still feel it's fast now but it might be anxiety. Got to work tomorrow as need the money, but I really don't feel up to it. Just want to cry. LO and myself are in bed already.

Glad you sought help! Please make sure you get the support you need..you are worth it!

Thank goodness you went, someone I know did this and 2 days later their heart rate was racing, their GP forced them to go the hospital as her heart rate was at a joggers pace 2 days later. She also started seeing spiders and hallucinating. Oh Okay it was me and I am in much better place now, worried and stressed over something but would never ever do this again, it scared the crap out of me. Did they give you valium too?

Glad you are home and seeking help. Onwards and upwards Gracie!!

Gracie don't don't force yourself into work if you do not feel up to it, your body has had a big shock, I actually developed helicobaster pylori after doing this and felt even worse so was off for a long time.

Get a GP line if need be, they are very understanding and will not say "took od", maybe even until after your appointment on Wednesday!

Be kind to yourself please. Baby steps to better mind and body health.

helicobacter!!!

I am glad you got some help Gracie.

I would seriously consider staying at home tomorrow. Overdosing does a real number on your body.

Take care of yourself.

Thanks so much for your support. I haven't told anyone about what happened so this helps. I didn't go in today as still felt bit funny, but going to make up the hours. I feel guilt and gave LO lots of cuddles yesterday, but still thinking I could take a few more and I don't understand why my brains telling me to do this! I don't know what would happen but I guess it's not good for my heart, but part of me doesn't care. I feel like I've given up fighting this, heads a mess.

gracie what external support do you have? do you have a counsellor, a cpn or anybody in the mental health team?

I have a mental health social worker who I already have an appt with on wed.

ok that is good. can you cope until then? if not you could call and ask for it to be brought forward as you are in crisis. the social worker could also insist that your meds are reviewed urgently and push for this. try to tell her everything and be assertive if you can. you could also ask for more support from the social worker or a cpn to visit you. have you tried contacting your local mind group to see if they offer support/ counselling?

Thinking of you today Gracie, definitely ring your team and inform them of what is going on with you.

They can do practical things like putting you on short scripts and offering phone support.

Take care of yourself, lots of TV time, snuggles with your LO, chocolate etc.

Another hand here for your to hold gracie - i read this with my heart in my mouth so relieved to see it was yesterdays thread and you got yourself to the hospital. xxx

I'm panicking waiting for my social worker to call me. She's going to be so annoyed. What if they make me tell my family, or take LO away or put me in hospital?! I want to run away.

They won't make you do or tell anyone, they will find a way to work with you to find a solution.

I know it is really scary, you can get through this.

They use a hospital admission as a very very last resort so please don't worry about it.

Keep thinking I didn't take enough. My minds racing with all sorts of thoughts. Can't concentrate on tv or anything. Sw said she was concerned, going to speak to my HV. God it's all such a mess and it's all my fault.

if they see you taking charge and responsibility for your mental health then that will reassure them all. your sw needs to up her support to you or access services that can support you more at the moment. it really sounds like your meds need reviewing asap too. can you write a list of things to mention to the sw so that you don't forget? and do you have anyone who can help you out a bit with your child or give you some support? a friend/relative?