If a car ran over your foot...

[DrasticMeasures]

it would damage it, wouldn't it? What might happen?

I can't afford to resign or stop working.

I don't look ill or seem ill so stress/ depression seems like a cop out. I still want to see my friends. When I work, I sleep 2 hours a night. When I'm not at work, I sleep properly.

I mean no other way than a sick note, not harming

I love my job, I just don't want the pressure that comes from management (and myself). I want to enjoy my DC. I could fall down the stairs but I'd instinctively try to save myself and wouldn't really get hurt. I need an injury that will take a long time to get better.

Thank you marvellous. And everybody.

They won't pay sick leave indefinitely. If u are incapable of work you could get incapacity benefit. The doctors could put you on medication to help with sleep and stress. I was v similar to you about two years ago I now have a job with much less stress.

I could have written this post a few weeks ago, please go to your GP, work will have to suck it up. Sometimes you have to put your health first and be tough. Sod everyone else and their needs. YOU come first!

How will you look after the children if you're injured?

I have friends and family and DP who can help at home if I need it.

I've googled. I had no idea there was so much information

I did that too, there's lots of info because others have been in your shoes and GP's etc know that and will help

Drastic
You need to re-evaluate your life, and how work fits into it. If it's stopping you sleeping and you're not happy when at work, perhaps it would be worth making the necessary sacrifices so that you could stop.
Could you talk to HR and see if they could arrange for you to take an unpaid break for say a month, to see if it helps clear the way.
Hope you're feeling better soon.

I'm sorry if I come across as unsympathetic but you need help. Even if you did intentionally injure yourself that is only a short term solution to your problem. You don't want to work. You need to consider your future in the long term. Can you re-train. I appreciate you can't afford to give up work but if you have having thoughts of self-harming then you seriously need to do something. Have you told your DH how you feel?

I'm worried for you.

ajandjjmum is right, you need to take stock, speak to everyone who can help you, you dp, gp other family members, HR at work and find a sensible solution that you can cope with.

Hurting yourself is not a rational approach. You sound very anxious and stressed.

What about working parttime?

Thank you.

DP knows I'm being treated for depression but I'm ok. I go out and smile and laugh. But I want it to stay like this.

I had my foot run over by a car when I was at school. Didn't hurt at all.

What is your long term plan?

Long term plan: To carry on doing what i do now.

Current plan: To injure myself badly enough to be signed off for weeks/ months/ forever.

Ok, stern words here but you need to see the GP asap - you are talking about throwing yourself off a ladder or running a car over your foot! How do you know that if you do that you might NEVER fully heal - I didn't after an accident!

That is madness, seriously. Go to the doctor and get signed off with stress and tell your GP you have been planning to hurt yourself.

I don't want it to heal.

But yes, gp should know.

Your dr will have ten mins to fit you in! He will sign your note and refer you for much needed help. ( waiting lists are months long) you can send a letter to work or your husband can.

If you think about it like that it will be less daunting to go through the door.

Then format a plan to change job or work less.

One small step at a time.

You do know that what you are saying proper mad, don't you? And when people are very stressed or MH they talk and think about doing mad things. You are doing that now - go to the doctor.

You would NOT want to live with and injury that doesn't heal.

is
have MH problems

I am receiving help - medication, psychiatrist, gp etc.

I just remembered an episode of casualty where a girl put her foot under a car as it reversed and broke her foot and it seemed like a good idea. I'm not willing to do anything that won't do damage though, which is why I asked.

You can probably be signed off with a mental disorder as plans to seriously hurt yourself can get you sectioned.

It doesn't feel like a mad idea . It is a sensible solution to a temporary problem. I'm not wanting to kill myself, that would be selfish.