If a car ran over your foot...

[DrasticMeasures]

it would damage it, wouldn't it? What might happen?

Why is it necessary to get hurt in order to stay off work?

Because how else do I stay off work? I'm not ill. I don't want to lie.

Why is getting time off for stress out of the question?

Because I'm not stressed.

Everyone would see it as me failing. I'd see it as me failing.

Because my GP says I still need to go to work.

Has your GP said that to you already?

Yes. Although I am currently signed off.

And, even if I was signed off longer, I'd still need to go back at some point. So the problem would still be there. If I was physically hurt, I might not be able to go back.

If you couldn't go back, what would you do for money?

DrasticMeasures, I see how it is.

My view is that planning to have your foot run-over (on purpose) constitutes planning self-harm. I don't see how it can not be.

FWIW, I think you're pretty clearly still depressed. What's your score on the Beck Inventory? (linked above)

But if it's easier for the moment to feign illness, then for goodness sake choose something which doesn't involve actually seriously injuring yourself! Particularly in such an unpredictable way.

So to satisfy the work culture and cover for your actual genuine need for time off for psychological reasons, you need an 'injury' which is considered serious, which isn't psychological or stress-related, and which can't easily be shown to be made-up... how about a bad back? migraines? death in the family?

Your employers sound like arseholes, BTW. Perhaps it's possible to switch to a different firm in the same industry, one which would allow more flexible working, and have less macho bullshit surrounding mental health?

This will sound like a silly question: do you have to work the long hours you do now? Absolutely have to? Could you move sideways? Take a back seat for a bit? And, really important -- why does working cut your sleep to 2 hours a night? Does it keep you awake, or have you only time for two hours in bed with everything you are trying to do?

(Just seen your most recent post above).

Has your GP said that you're ready to go back to work, knowing that you'd be willing to injure yourself to avoid doing that? My guess is not... tell your GP how you're really feeling and you'll likely get a different answer.

I don't know Cailin but it'd buy me a bit of time to figure something out.

My employers are very good about certain things - letting me have time off so I can go to sports day etc but they've just let some staff go and we've had a bollocking about having time off. It's just difficult and I'm letting my team down by not being there.

No-one would believe other reasons now. I just don't know what else to do. I know this is madness, I know it is. It just doesn't seem like it. Is it self-harm? For a while, I wanted to fall in front of a bus. When I told my gp, he said to keep taking my ADs and carry on life as usual.

I don't know why I only sleep for a couple of hours. I'm just highly strung, I guess. I can't reduce my hours.

I'm not bothered about physical pain You have obviously not had serious physical pain before then, because anyone how has knows how utterly soul destroying constant pain on a day to day basis can be.

If you have an accident you won't be able to look after your children, let alone be in a position to spend more time with them.

You can get signed off with stress but for some reason you think self harm is a better option. This is quite quite worrying. Why are you choosing not to speak to a doctor?

If u were physically hurt ur work wouldn't pay you sick leave for long. Six weeks is the maximum I think.

You told your GP you wanted to fall in front of a bus and he said to keep taking the pills? You need a better GP!

You can't feel responsible to your team for being ill, and you are ill if you're coming up with a plan to hurt yourself so you don't have to go through the horror of work. Screw your employers bollocking people for having time off, you can't help not being well!

Please speak to another GP in your practice and get your meds changed. And get signed off for anxiety/stress. If work causes you not to sleep, and the thought of going back makes you want to hurt yourself you are suffering from stress.

Once you are feeling better you might be able to come up with a new direction you can go in to make your work/life balance better. Whilst you're unwell it can seem overwhelming, but there are plenty of ways you can work to balance your life better.

I am often in constant pain. Not excruciating but continual back pain and it's exhausting and miserable. I appreciate that it must be terrible to live with every day. But I don't care anymore. Not if it means I don't have to go back to the stress and rush of my current existence.

I have spoken with my dr. He said I need to carry on. So I did. I don't know what else I can do. I asked for help, I explained what was wrong.

When was the last time you spoke to your GP?

Thank you swatchdog.

I get at least 3 months sick pay. I don't want to have to do this.

Ur logic doesn't make sense. You don't want to lie but I'm presuming you won't tell them that it was you that injured yourself so that is lying.

valiumredhead she is speaking to her doctor, although maybe not telling him/her the whole truth about how she feels, I'm guessing.

DrasticMeasures Your GP sounds useless. Were the ADs prescribed by a psychiatrist and if so can you see them instead? Or can you see a different GP?

I saw him last week. I wasn't feeling like this then. I was looking forward to a rest and then going back to work.

I wish I hadn't started this now. I only wanted to know if the car thing would work. Which I now know it might not.

Agrees with what Swatchdog said.

But you haven't told your gp that you feel like self harming today, have you OP? You need to, you might need a change of meds.

Well, yes, wishupon... I suppose you are right

If I broke my foot and then said I'd done it deliberately, they'd think I was mad.

Why do you wish you hadn't started it?