If a car ran over your foot...

[DrasticMeasures]

it would damage it, wouldn't it? What might happen?

You're not mad, nuts or bonkers.

You're ill.

You truly need to discuss this in real life - a Dr will keep it confidential and help you manage things.

Please listen to someone who has felt the same way

You're not at all likely to be sectioned. You don't need to worry about that. I agree, it's incredibly hard to get sectioned country to popular belief.

And everything else *toaster`8 said too :)

Sorry roller I read it differently x

toaster

Just wanted to clarify that I was NOT calling the OP mad or bonkers I was saying that what she was suggesting was bonkers - which is what we do when we are ill and need help :)

wonders if this is the kind of 'car talk' that Mumsnet HQ were hoping for?

contrary ffs!

Just as another thought - and it might not be possible - but can you get a sabbatical from work? rather than contemplating injuring yourself?

Having said that, you do need to get your psych evaluation re-checked. You seem very calm about the idea of possibly permanently damaging yourself to get out of going back to work - you say you love your job but it doesn't sound much like it at the moment - it sounds like you're kidding yourself a bit, actually. Especially if working means you only get 2h sleep at night.

If you are thinking of self-harming then you need to review the treatment you are receiving for your depression. Please do not harm yourself, go back to the GP and tell him/her you are having these thoughts. They will recognise this as a symptom and consider different treatment options for you. It may be as simple as changing your medication (either the type or the dose). Your thoughts are not a rational or recommendable way out of your work situation, even though it appears that way to you ATM. The way for you to get better is to keep fighting your depression and go back to your GP for an update on the help you're receiving.

I don't know what your problems are at work, but I saw my GP a few years ago when I had problems sleeping, also due to my work situation, and he was really helpful. Among other things he signed me off for 2 weeks, so I got some proper sleep. Because I'd become sleep deprived I'd become unable to think clearly, those two weeks let me get my head together amd solve the work problems.

Sleep deprivation is a killer, truly awful and you can't think straight at all.

Samaritans

In the UK dial 08457 90 90 90
In the Republic of Ireland dial 1850 60 90 90

and you don't need to be suicidal to call them
www.samaritans.org/your_emotional_health/feeling_low.aspx

You can also text Samaritans if that's easier.

They will help
I went back to my GP and told him I would rather drive into a brick wall than have another panic attack
He signed me off, referred me for CBT and I carried on with my meds. It's about 3 years later now, I am on virtually no meds and almost panic free
I know, I know it seems same at the time. I remember thinking "if I go at maybe x speed I won't be that injured"

Brighthair, I was the other way round, had worked out the minimum speed I needed to be travelling at in order to definitely be killed. Was scouting out possible locations too.

Drugs and group therapy worked wonders for me. Prozac changed my life (made it longer!).

My mum did it once when I was a teen and helping her park in a tight spot. I think I was more upset about her doing it than my foot. It hurt like buggery but didn't do anything bad.

Oops did not read whole thread before answering, looks like I missed something fundamental... Sorry.

Hopandaskip don't worry - I think we've established that running over your own foot (or having someone else run it over) is a Bad Idea which can lead to unpredictable results ranging from a sore foot to permanent disability.

This is more of a mental health topic than a chat one. Which is probably explains how people miss what's happened when they comment without having read everything.

I'm not sleep deprived anymore, I'm thinking perfectly clearly. I'm sleeping quite well. I just need to figure out what to do.

I could crash my car but that'd mean all sorts of insurance hassle and I might put someone else in danger. If I 'fell' or had an accident, no-one would be to blame.

I don't think I can have a sabbatical.

What do you find attractive about being injured Drastic?

I wouldn't have to go to work. I could stay at home. Maybe permanently?
I could spend time with DC.
I wouldn't have pressure on me to reach targets and jump through hoops in order to prove that I am doing what I love well
I wouldn't have to rush to get DC up & out of the house every morning
I wouldn't have to rush home, pick up DC, cook dinner, sort homework, do bedtime in a mad frantic
I could have a rest
Someone might look after me for a short while

I'm not bothered about physical pain.

Obviously, it'd be preferable to have that without being hurt. But if there is no other way, then I will do something to be hurt. I just need to work out exactly what.

What are the reasons that you have to be hurt in order for all that to happen?

DrasticMeasures, the fact that you're considering injuring yourself to make these feelings go away (which, unfortunately, won't work) is in itself evidence that those feelings need to be taken seriously - and that you need more professional-mental-health assistance.

I totally understand that it's utterly rational to be willing to hurt yourself if you think that will make things better. The problem is that, as a strategy, it won't work.

The good news is that you don't need to injure yourself - with some help, you can feel better without having to do that.

tl;dr: Get hold of the drugs, they work.

(If you're already taking them then talk to your doctor about switching medication or upping the dosage).

Everything is a mad rush all the time and I never spend quality time with DC because I have to get to work. I rush bedtime so I can start working again. I never have time to myself. I can't think and there is barely time to breathe. Life is nicer when I don't work - I appreciate things, I sleep, I see DC, I am happy.

Why won't that work? I don't understand.

I am on 2 different meds and I'm ok. I'm not stressed (other than about going back to work), I'm not really depressed anymore. I'm not suicidal, I don't self-harm.