You ask why it all matters anymore Idon't... well we are all the3 sum total of our experiences, especially the ones that occur during childhood, and particularly certain points in our childhood.
So if we are brought up in a loving, secure, supportive environment, it is more likely we will be confidant, happy and more capable of handling the things we have put in our paths.
What you describe was far from that, and we bury it as a survival and coping strategy, and very often understand our upbringings to be the 'norm' until something makes us understand that in fact, it was far from it.
In all truth, I didn't reach that point until I found MN, because I had grown to doubt myself so much that of course I was everything I had grown up to believe and a cycle begins.
My brother liked Elvis and my Dad supported that, I liked Donny Osmond, and he got the rest of the family to pack suitcases, then knocked on my bedroom door ( I was about 6/7ish) and Dad told me they were leaving and I wasn't going, then they left the house, whilst I hid in a cupboard, crying and terrified. I can't remember how long they 'hid', but the damage was done,....
What I can say, is that with a good counsellor, and time, the damage done can be limited, and healed... I am never comfortable with the term 'inner child' but it is very much about acknowledging her and recognising what happened and then protecting the 'inner child' that remains as a core part of who we are.
My counsellor compared it to a huge ball of knotted, tangled thread, and pulling at them one by one to untangle it....
So yes, a can of worms, but maybe in opening it, you can, bit by bit, decide which ones you actually want back in your can.
I am 42 Idon't, and for the first time in my life really, I like me, so please believe that somewhere along your line, you can be in a better place and realise that actually, not only DO you deserve them, but they are lucky and blessed to have you too xx