The Cybergarden - Midwinter Edition

[shodatin]

Hope this is Post No. 1001 equivalent, having just used up the thousandth space and feel I shouldn't ask Madmouse to organise the next one again.

Have just looked into summerhouse to check fire is burning gently, tray of [brew} organised by upward to turn into one's favourite hot drink of the moment is standing ready for visitors, along with a few pounds of chocolates from huge box sent by DSis. (Before DB eats any more today)

It's usually tianc, upward and hob who remember to be hospitable and also remember to send good wishes to previous visitors, including said madmouse and mouselet, kizzie and family, NanaNina, Butterpie and another name which eludes me just now, but am hoping you'll find your way to this new part of the Cybergarden
and continue visiting in the New Year, along with hob's time-travelling cat Her Felinity and her welcome associate ndt (next-door's-tom), who visit us quite often, bringing gifts of when they remember, instead of the usual dead rodents which they know are unwelcome in the cybergarden.

Have just had lovely large lunch, plus Skype visit from rest of relatives, so will have a little potter round RL garden, hoping all is well and welcoming now in cybergarden's summerhouse.

I came back to mine today shodatin, so I was alone. Some people struggle with Christmas, I tend to struggle with New Year. I need to say how it goes...I really don't want to end up under the crisis team (one of the things suggested in the clinic letter I got on Saturday).

My current aim is to muddle through to next week when psych is back - don't want anybody overreacting anymore as the junior drs did.

((( Upward )))

WELL DONE on getting this far before crashing. YOU SUCCEEDED in doing Christmas, which I think was your target - and took a lot of guts and effort and determination.

Now you get to curl up in your little nest and do whatever it takes to rest and recover. This is a "planned blip", so to speak. Hope it's not too ghastly, and doesn't last too long...

Ah, you're back at your place. I wonder if being with friends will help tide you over - or are they all off visiting family?

Thanks for the hugs, nilgirl.

Hibernating is a stellar idea.

You have done well, as Nilgiri says, upward, and I'm sure you'll manage well until psych gets back, particularly if you keep reminding yourself that New Year's Eve and Day are nothing different really, can't tell them from the week after actually, apart from the importance given to them by some of the world, however you might have seen them in the past. It feels like just another boring close-down to me, probably as I feel that the beginning of each new day has importance, and is much more effective for "starting anew" or even making resolutions. Today was obviously emotional (although it seems natural to have a good cry sometimes), but you'll soon be asleep with the day finished and one bright new one available very soon (and possibly more relaxed because of the tears - hope so).

You're right shodatin, they are just days, and I'm probably exhuasted anyway, which wont help (I never have enough spoons for the visit I did).

It would have helped if I'd taken sleeping tablets and some others that I forgot to take with me - at least I can tonight.

Not had proper sleep away from home upward? Am not surprised you had a good cry! Yes, do have something tonight, good idea, but whatever do the spoons have to do with it? Do people take them along in your family, the way some of us have to take chairs? Or is it a word for something else? Please let me know - can't rest until I've understood the spoon thing ....

Here's a tray of ; we can sit around and dunk s in front of fire while I listen.

Belated evening all - sorry been unable to post asS lots going on here, and was in nestbox in afternoon - shodatin , it's a way of explaining how the & symptoms fatigue etc of (often invisible ) disabilities limits one's capacity for tasks - you only have a few spoons & if you use them up on , say , catching up with family news and peeling sprouts , you won't have enough to wash your hair - sorry can't link to the site that coined the phrase

Really agree about the NY being just another day and theat new starts can be effective at other tiimes

Hopew you sleep better tonight , upward xx
upward's specials to all comforting cybergardeners

Thank you so much hob! Would never have guessed about spoons, but makes perfect sense when explained.
Hope you feel better after this afternoon's rest, and that family are all ok at present.

Am tired after last few days so off to bed now, really pleased Christmas is over for another year.

I 've just realised shodatin thata I didn't mention your < whispers so Nilgiri* can't hear > gnome - was sure I 'd done done a cartwheel that DB was delighted with him !. I didn't find one for DM this Christmas , but will keep eye out - though of course your efforts made DB's unique .< inspired >

Sorry for absence ... DH being very brave about fact that his DM had bad fall today , knocked unconscious & admitted to hospital but this evening other relatives tell us she was sat up in bed and smiling , if not 100 % alert . Hope she has a comfortable night , and that we can see her tomorrow ... I know she can't last all that much longer really , and hope she has better luck with last part of life than with this illness . It is comforting to see her depression has lifted in recent months , & she's pleased with attention from visiting nurses etc

We're sitting up late watching King Kong and about to have our Christmas Dinner after prolonged napping - so good for dh to have time off , and just as well , of course

Hope upward wakes feeling calmer and I'm sure shodatin and Nilgiri's support and wise counsel have been a massive help today
Hope Nilgiri has had a good day . Giggled at further eveidence of DB's eye for fashion , which you've mentioned before , shodatin . Shame about fun places being close .

< sleepily tries to remember stove - damping procedure >

Oh hob, so very sorry to hear about MIL's fall. And that, as suspected, she doesn't have that much longer. Sounds like you've spent a good Christmas having time with her that so nearly didn't happen - may you have many warm and joyful memories stowed away for the future.

And here's that link: Spoon Theory. Brilliant way to communicate problems illness can cause.

Upward, you managed a whole family trip without sleeping medication?! . No wonder you're shattered!

Hope we all get a good night's rest tonight, ready to start tomorrow afresh, as shodatin so very wisely says.

Thanks for the explanation and link, hob and nilgiri - I could have explained a little better.

I'm really sorry to hear about your DH's DM, keeping you all in my thoughts.

Morning all - what night-owls we have in this garden! Such a shame about your MiL's fall hob, but it's good that her mental state has improved and that there has been some pleasure in her life recently despite being fragile. Hope you and DH enjoyed your late Christmas dinner, and that the rest of DH's holiday is restful.

Big thanks to Nilgiri for spoon link (and to hob for explanation), and am also grateful for the extra moss (with obligatory tinsel) in nest-box. Am still extremely tired despite a good night, having done more than a year's catering/entertaining over Christmas, but at least DB was safe and managed a few portions of fruit and vegetables along with the chocolate , soft drinks and assorted junk snacks around for the season.

Hope upward had a good night's rest and is able to enjoy being at home again.

I hope you get some more rest/recovery time today, shodatin I think I'm feeling the same way as you as far as that goes.

CMHT person has said they're coming over later.

Am not surprised you're tired upward, even the extra noise of a family occasion can be exhausting when one's used to being alone and quiet, plus you were short of sleep for a few days. Shame you can't just curl up today and forget visitors, but suppose they're wanting to be helpful and ensure you're doing OK, so hope it's not a long visit; maybe even someone you like this time?

Hope you have sufficient food to be interesting at the house after your time away upward (just sorting through messy fridge, checking dates and glad to see spaces in freezer, but aware of another shut-down due Monday). Beautiful weather here, so may potter into town to collect this month's prescriptions, due any time after 28th in order to stagger collections.

Hope CMHT visit isn't to intrusive , upward - hope they realise the effect of not having had your sleeping tablets over the visit ( and that they don't fret about the tablets having been forgotten in first place - argh , when your health and mood are being checked , you can't win whatever you do ) -thinking of you this afternoon . . Agree you did amazingly well to manage long visit , let alone with sleep problem .

Hope you've found yourself out in the good weather , shodatin , and will soon recover from fabulously ambitious entertaining stint . Am sure it will have given DB a massive boost - and that he's replete with nutrients

Thank you all for kind thoughts and for keeping MIL in your thoughts , upward , that's lovely . You're so right , Nilgiri , that this Christmas didn't seem likely to happen - but it's easier for me to "see" when not as close emotionally . Off to hospital now and there's been no news today , so a bit apprehensive at how much damage the head injury may have done , but hope it will all work out as it's "meant to "

Kind Nilgiri to think of everyone else < hands out glitter- removing fur wipes , rather hopelesslessly >
< still giggling at enduringly glittery mice >

lemon balm s all round

I think the cybergarden would be a good place to be until early Jan.

I think I'm doing ok. Not sure what CMHT think, but they got me to fill my dosette box whilst they were there, and want me to talk to a doctor tomorrow, and possibly someone from CMHT or crisis team on Friday. I have family coming tomorrow to stay overnight, so it may be a phone call I hope. They asked lots of questions. They asked if I take anything to calm me down, but I'm not uncalm, the voices don't like me talking about them.

It doesn't make sense, you see people on MN begging to see cmht/crisis team because they are feeling very unwell. I'm feeling ok but I get told that they will contact me daily if they decide to.

including coming to my house

I agree it's hard to win sometimes, hob - at least they didn't get cross about it.

I hope your visit to DH's DM goes well, and that she is comfortable, and your DH/you are well supported.

Last but not least, slightly peeved that people seem to think that if they go in another room in my flat, they can talk on the phone about me as if I'm not there

That's today's venting done, thanks.

They probably didn't realise you could hear the phone voice, upward, but agree that I'd be a bit cross too.

It's probably the voices which are concerning the HCPs, along with needing to check the drugs, although there's probably at least one person further up the chain who's giving them instructions about your supervision, (and possibly told your visitor to make phone call anyway).
Hope you're managing to ignore any voices, glad you're feeling calm at this time and hope you have a good time with your visiting family tomorrow evening
p.s. I'd probably be having a cry if any of my family were planning to stay; not recovered from the last one yet...

Thankyou hob for kind comments about DB's visit, and hope all is well today with your MiL.

I think one of the problems is that the head honcho is on leave, so different people say different things. I'm hoping the family visit goes ok too, I'm making it shorter than it was as I need some 'me'/sleep time. I had some vouchers at Christmas, so I've ordered a jigsaw to distract.

Ooh, jigsaw! Excellent distraction! Do you go for "lots of sky" type pics, or really busy ones?

And you're so right about people talking as if you can't hear them. Hello? Sitting right here? Grrrr!

Btw, it's always sounded like your area has first class NHS services of all kinds. My current area's like that, but I once lived somewhere people did have to beg, for every kind of NHS service not just MH. You'll literally have seen some of it on the news...

If only all areas had such conscientious staff and substantial services as ours - I think lives would be saved...

I've gone for a map one, so a lots of sky one/trying lots of pieces into one space.

Oh wow upward , those lovely torches have put tears in my eyes ! How lovely and comforting of you , when you've managed had such a demanding day so well . Dh sends thanks and best wishes to you all

...long visit to hospital as MIL concussed so some hallucinations etc , but was cheerful & staff very caring . Met consultant by chance who was delighted that CT scan showed no obvious damage to head - was very heavy fall . Also , the oral ABs have made great difference to scary chest infection .They're keeping in hopefully only for a few more days .

So good to see * shodatin and Nilgiri in the garden with you . The services must feel very intrusive , and I feel for you . I do find the idea very persuasive that it is one's right to live with a degree of voices etc , without a levelof medication that eradicates them , but am not sure if that is how you have view it in your professional and personal life .
If mh services wave empirical evidence that peoople with these symptoms not eliminated do better in the long term , you may not feel in a position to disagreee or read the studies ,- but you can do so later .

Hmmm, mh services round here have been very variable - sorry to hear of previous area , Nilgiri

Giggling at shodatin's "I saying she 'd probablycry too at prospect of another family visit just yet

Peaceful nihght , upward- so impressed yet again with the way you dealt with cmht
soothings

sorry for the "had " after "managed" in first paragraph < must make corrections before posting , not add them as postscript >