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Original poster

I have reached the point and I am calm

289 replies

failingtoomuch · 21/12/2011 17:16

I need to end my life. I want to end my life. I am at peace with doing it and feel very calm now I have made the decision. I just don't know the best way to do it. I wouldn't lie in front of a train or similar as I don't want anyone else to be affected. I would like to disappear and just do it in the middle of nowhere. There is no one who will miss me so there are no issues there. I just want it over with.

OP posts:
KatieScarlettsCrackers · 21/12/2011 18:51

I've felt the same way and also have DC and DH.

I'm so glad I got decent help, I don't think like that anymore and life has got so much better.

I wish I were there to give you a hug. You are not pathetic at all.

LilTooMuchTurkey · 21/12/2011 18:52

I grew up with a girl whose dad killed himself. Believe me those left behind don't just get on with their lives. It kills a little bit of them too.

BleachBoys · 21/12/2011 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liveinazoo · 21/12/2011 18:54

i was theree once.i never thought id get well again.i wont lie and say i dont blip but i know id never leave my kids now.they keep me here thesse days as i got well enough to realise the impact on them for the rest of their lives

neverever · 21/12/2011 18:55

Please try and get some help, both for you and your family. this time of year can be awful at the best of times, I always feel myself going down just now but know it's just the stress of everything.

Can you talk to us, what do you feel is the biggest problem for you?

BeckyBendyLegs · 21/12/2011 18:55

A friend of mine from school found her mum hanging when she got home from school, it absolutely devastated her, I can't describe how much. My niece tried to kill herself last summer, it was awful. She regrets what she did. She is so glad it didn't work, although it nearly did, she was in intensive care. I saw her today and even now I thought how glad I am she's alive and how lucky we all are that she is.

JugglingWithGoldandMyrhh · 21/12/2011 18:56

You've made at least two children ftm

  • How clever are you ?
Be proud of them. Be curious to see how their lives develop. Grandchildren one day ?
fuzzypeach1750 · 21/12/2011 18:56

no one's going to judge you or make out that your problems are insignificant if that's a worry. we just want to help.

fuzzypeach1750 · 21/12/2011 18:59

why do you think you are spoiling things for your family?

SearchSquad · 21/12/2011 18:59

Do you realize that you are thinking of doing something so final that there will not be any going back?

You are here for a reason failingtoomuch. There are so many of us here wanting to help. This means that you are not so alone as you think!

Now just step back from this thought... Right now!

And pick up the phone and call the Samaritans at 08457 90 90 90.

You can make up your mind later about what you want to do. You owe this to yourself and you have to make this call...

Original poster
failingtoomuch · 21/12/2011 18:59

I can't cope with being a mother. It is too hard. I don't know how to manage.

OP posts:
KatieScarlettsCrackers · 21/12/2011 19:00

Falling, are you here?

Please post something and humour me.

Grin
fuzzypeach1750 · 21/12/2011 19:01

How many DC do you have and how old are they? Being a Mum is the toughest job in the world. It's relentless, you always feel like you are failing, doing a crap job. And those are just the good days!

thunderboltsandlightning · 21/12/2011 19:02

Can you talk specifically about what you're finding difficult. What's your life like? You do have family, you have your husband and children, and your children definitely need you and love you.

Please call the Samaritans or go to A&E if you're feeling very desperate.

neverever · 21/12/2011 19:02

I feel like that a lot, but your children need you, you need to be there for them.

BeckyBendyLegs · 21/12/2011 19:02

Having a mum who is struggling, which we all do at times, is better than no mum at all.

KatieScarlettsCrackers · 21/12/2011 19:02

It is hard.

Then it gets better, then a bit worse, then better again and repeat.

The better times will come, honest!

Original poster
failingtoomuch · 21/12/2011 19:03

I don't think I can do this any more. I don't want anyone to find me or guess who I am.

OP posts:
thunderboltsandlightning · 21/12/2011 19:03

What's happened today? This week? What led up to this?

neverever · 21/12/2011 19:03

Keep talking to us and please phone the Samaritans.

mummylouise · 21/12/2011 19:04

how old are ur kids?? being a mum is difficult, so days are worse than others - was today a bad day?

fuzzypeach1750 · 21/12/2011 19:04

sweetheart you need someone to find you. in every sense. please let us help you, if not for your sake then for your DC

KatieScarlettsCrackers · 21/12/2011 19:04

We won't out you.

You can do this, maybe not right now but you can and will want to sometime soon.

mummylouise · 21/12/2011 19:05

no one will find u, no one will guess
just tell me why u feel u cant cope?

neverever · 21/12/2011 19:06

Do u think it would be better to leave your children, they would never forget what you did, my friend from school ended her life, her family are devastated and have never recovered.