I have reached the point and I am calm

[failingtoomuch]

I need to end my life. I want to end my life. I am at peace with doing it and feel very calm now I have made the decision. I just don't know the best way to do it. I wouldn't lie in front of a train or similar as I don't want anyone else to be affected. I would like to disappear and just do it in the middle of nowhere. There is no one who will miss me so there are no issues there. I just want it over with.

where are we looking for that katie?i could do with a good laugh

chat

make sure you look at the cactii pic futher down the thread too

priceless

oh my goodness.that was worth a look katie.cant decide which was better hapy monkey or pleased to see us clowns!!!!

I have not been cruel, nor unfair, nor held anything against you. I have suggested you need help in real life, and that posting on here isn't helping you or giving you what you really need. That may be hard to hear, but that doesn't mean I am being unkind.

I started a thread in order to help you from a longer, broader perspective. I accept you can't see that now. I thought starting a new thread was a better option rather than 'turning' your existing support thread.

I have not taken MN away from you. As you have done just now, you could name change again, or go back to your usual name if you prefer, which is no longer on this thread so has no connection. You have had similar threads go this way before, and have managed to come back from them.

I apologise for saying part of your name yesterday - I thought at the time that if someone said your name, it might help you not feel so alone. Like when people are injured, you always try to find out their name so you can talk. That was wrong and for that I am sorry. It was not done with malicious intent.

I told you exactly where I knew you from in my last PM earlier on today, and no, we have never met in person, nor emailed. As I said in a PM to you though, I have children of similar ages, so you 'stuck' in my mind more than others. The reason I know it is 7+ years, is because we were on the same antenatal thread on another website when pregnant with our youngest children.

I truly don't 'have a problem' with you. I see you posting, and feel for you, and really wish you could help yourself. I don't see I can do anymore to convince you of that, so will promise never to 'talk' to you again, if that makes you feel safer.

I wish you well, and hope one day you will find a happier way of being. There ARE people out there that can help you, if you will let them.

Best wishes

I have been willing to let people help me for many years they tell me they can't what part of that do you understand?

Anyway, I am off now. I really don't want to be part of this where people can bang on and on about the same thing over and over again when it clearly isn't the thing to do nor is wanted or right.

I have asked for help many times. I have been told they cant help me many times. I have found talking on here has made me feel less alone. That has now gone.

Good bye.

come on o.p.i will feel very sad if you feel you cant come and talk anymore.i will be back tomorrow and hoope you will have had some rest and will decide to come back and talk to me and thosse of us who are around.
bleach boys i understand your need to explain youirself but i think that o.p is finding it very in her face and seems intimidated.
i hope that tensions will cool and that tomorrow this site,ive found very friendly resumes business as usual

Good luck OP. I haven't read the whole thread, but listen to the kind people on here.

bleach - do you truly think you are helping?

Bleach, I think if you were a 'real life' close friend what you are saying might be ok but you aren't, you 'know' OP through forums/online.

'Tough love' might be appropriate in certain circumstances, in RL or in a therapeutic environment, where you know fully of persons circumstances, but online, where people are anonymous and linked very loosely, not so, IMO.

OP, don't let this push you away, re-reg, namechange, say your cat is a dog and the little boxes people tick in their heads to out you might be less likely to happen.

Or just ignore, and carry on.

"FWIW, I have not suggested to the OP it is wrong for her to post here. I AM suggesting that it might not be helping her though."

Saying something isn't helping someone is saying that it is wrong.

Do you realise you're contradicting yourself?

I hope FTM ignores you.

The faux authority you're posting with is also very irritating Bleach.

I agree with FTM that what you've done here is cruel, particularly as you're disguising it as concern.

Can I propose that we now let this lie? I'm not sure criticising Bleach any more is helping the OP.

Bleach has driven FTM off this thread and apparently off Mumsnet. She needs to apologise and I'd say to promise that she'll leave FTM alone if she sees her on Mumsnet again.