ok, I'm sliding a bit, the dark, the cold, the scared about money, head stones going up soon, christmas is expensive, I need some help and advice please

[TrinityTheTwattyRhino]

the first thing to go is the kids not going to school
they haven't gone today

erin is not supposed to be at mursery after a doc app on tuesday and she has a horrid cold and being 3 could do with a few days rest was what the doc and I agreed

dd2 is fine

dd1 does have a horrid cold but with som calpol could be at school

I just couldn't face it

leaving the house

driving
the cold
ugh I know I shouldn't have

but how do I stop doing it more

tbh all day every day I feel like I'm drowning and cant cope with doing it all

I wold love if I could pay someone to take and pcik up the girls from school for a coupke of days a week but thats just a pipe dream I'm sure

I can't remember what the headstone says

I kno where it is, I drive past the 'headstone guys'(what is he really called?) yard almost every day

I've spoken to him and he has it in the yard

ugh

should be going up friday

Hey Trin keep going you are doing well it is ok to have blips

Morning you don't 'know' me I just wanted to say it sounds like you are doing blimmin well AND it is ok to have blips.I can't give make up advice as rarely wear it but I think tinted moisturisers are good.Boots No 7 range are good.Also Fiday will be an extremely emotional day I am sure so please don't be hard on yourself...and I like your new name

Morning....GOOD morning!!

TrinityMotherofRhinos don't panic about Friday. Just take it one day at a time until then. Who will be around for you on Friday night? And can you plan something nice for the girls over the weekend? Could they make some christmas cards for people - old christmas cards, glue and glitter...

And mince pies and hot chocolate as a reward once they have tidied up?

very good choice, lovely twirl! TrinityMotherofRhinos

I have only just started the shopping for Christmas, havent and wont be giving the bin men of postie anything this year.

Bin men are obnoxious twats and are very unhelpful, we havent had the same postie since our lovely old man left 2 years ago.

You are farther ahead than me missus.

I do have a teeny advantage though, as a Phoenix trader I have all the rollwrap, cards and ribbon that I need. phew.

Y

oops, puppy jumped on laptop...

You are doing very very well.

Friday will happen but for now it is only Tuesday NIght. Then it will be Wednesday morning. A little at a time if you need it :)

Morning Trin - how's things this morning? Freezing where you i bet, pretty cold down south, DS1 hoping for snow

Make-up; i don't own/wear any so sorry can't help there!

headstone man - stonemason maybe? not sure.

stonemason, thats the one

ok well wednesday morning. kids are all at school but they had chocolate brioche bought on the way for breakfast

woke up feeling awful, head full of snot and razors in my throat so they went but we cheated

snuggled under duvet with a lemsip right now

dont hold out much hope fir the rest of the day but I dont have any appointments so I'm not missing anything important

I haven't had a drink since friday

well done on the not drinking, I hope you mean alcohol and not a general dehydration.

Get snuggled in, keep taking lemsip, stay warm. Do the essentials today, but nothing more.

Trinity, there is nothing better than choccie brioche for breakfast, the kids will think of it as a treat, at least they got breakfast, many children dont. Dont worry about it.

oh god, dont say many kids dont get beakfast

see that used to make me mad when social services were checking they had beds!!!!

I was letting them and smiling and doing everything they asked and thinking

'What the fuck do you think I'm like, I lvoe my kids and ensure they are warm, fed, loved etc. I worry I'm not doing he best for them and worry about their future. yet here you are wasting all these peoples time investigating me when there are kids out there in danger and being neglected'

a few friends of mine and some people on here too have said its because I was easy to investigate uyswim I mean

I let them in, I doid what they wanted, I turned up to meetings, I behaved, I didn't shout scream, swear, refuse access.

ugh sorry, still have issues about the whole experience

Its ok Trinity, totally understandable my lovely. And yes, there are kids in the UK who are mistreated on every level, why they investigated you is one of those horrid things that sometimes happen.

Try to think of it in another way, SS came, saw, had a look see and left happy in the end. Alls well in the Trinity camp. You are one of the success stories to them, so be proud and dont think of it as a failing at all.

Hope things are better for you now we are mid week. x

shit shit shit
only just woken up
house is freezing
my alarm didn't go off
I'm not giving up
they are all dressed, they need to have a hot breakfast it is totally frosty everywhere

definitely below zero
shoud I ring the school to tell them we are going to be late??

I'm not giving up
I feel like shit but late is better than not at all
I'm not giving up

anyone there?

I'm making breakfast
the kids are getting stuff togehter

Bit of lurker fan stalker whatever. Have seen a few previous threads. Keep going, get those beautiful kids out of that door. Frickin' freezing here, also trying to avoid putting heating on until its really cold Get going, let us know when you get back from dropping kids off.

well done TR
keep it going

yes I'd ring the school and trll them you're on your way

ring the school check

breakfast being eaten check

car started and warming check

me having a minor panic attack and retching in the bathroom check

Good, keep ticking things off, I'm trying to get the courage energy to go upstairs and wash my hair (has needed doing for about 2 days - pleasant!!!).

have you eaten?
a cup of sugary tea might help

Right, am heading upstairs now to wash my manking hair, inspired by you getting going this morning. Hope you're on your way to school

all at school
had a mini breakdown in the car and had a go at the kids ofr not behaving at home but they behave at school

upset them and told them I was taking away toys as they have too many

dd2 broke down about er dad just as we were going into the school

spoke to the headteacher after I used his office to calm her down and he mentioned that her tteachers have seen that she seems very sad at the moment compared to her usual self
academically she is fine but they have not seen her normall bubbly self for a while

hmm from about when craig and rach moved back down to wolverhampon

how do I help her?

I've been crying since, I want to make her bubbly again

I feel liks its my fault
I'm not giving her enough attention
or not enough positive attention or one to one time

i just don't know what to do