ok, I'm sliding a bit, the dark, the cold, the scared about money, head stones going up soon, christmas is expensive, I need some help and advice please

[TrinityTheTwattyRhino]

the first thing to go is the kids not going to school
they haven't gone today

erin is not supposed to be at mursery after a doc app on tuesday and she has a horrid cold and being 3 could do with a few days rest was what the doc and I agreed

dd2 is fine

dd1 does have a horrid cold but with som calpol could be at school

I just couldn't face it

leaving the house

driving
the cold
ugh I know I shouldn't have

but how do I stop doing it more

tbh all day every day I feel like I'm drowning and cant cope with doing it all

I wold love if I could pay someone to take and pcik up the girls from school for a coupke of days a week but thats just a pipe dream I'm sure

I do know that it is with love

and it really does help

you're right

they NEED me to get them to school
they deserve school

I dont wear make up, maybe I should

how do you not end up orange

I really would love someone to teahc me about make uo even if I only wore it occasionally

oh and they are all at school with a good breakfast in them, porridge for the little two and cereal for the big one.

vests, tights, good warm boots, hats, coats and all the stuff they should have

I had a shower last night and washed my hair and found clean underwear and warm clothes

got some messages on the way back (form my list written in my ciary thing)

and now I'm throwing more clothes away

5 binbags gone already

oh and do I 'know' you?

sorry If I'm being thick but have you name changed

well done. keep it going. agree with Dancer - it is hugely important to keep the kids attendance up, both for their sake and yours, as once attendance goes below a certain level, it does get flagged up to educational welfare etc.

i've been widowed and had depression so appreciate some of what you are experiencing. THings that help me:

Getting myself ready the night before and then focus on kids in morning, lay breakfast out the night before too :) My DD is nearly five and loves to help in that way.

With regards to make up some mascara and lip gloss goes a long way to making me feel human.

Xmas shopping is always a faff regardless, Boots 3 for 2 offer is pretty good for friends and I think you can do it online too. Second Amazon and it's wrapping service for anything that needs posting.

Oh fuck me, foundation is the last thing to worry about if you're not a makeup wearer. Slap on some eyeshadow and lipstick and you're good to go.

all the children at school, fed, warm cooked breakfast and everything! Clean clothes, all wonderful.

You're doing well. The headstone is a big deal. The weather changing is going to make it hard as well. But you know to ask for help before it gets too much, now, and that's huge.

We've got you, Trin.

Trin - i just PMd you. Completely forgot last night. Yes i have namechanged but yes you do "know" me.

I mentioned foundation because i used to use it as a mask, and then if people stared it was because i had an orange tide mark I'm not a huge makeup wearer either.

Just to add to your list of jobs - stock up on your oil (is it you that needs oil for heating etc?)

I am good at being bossy

Got to nip out (house viewing) but will check back later.

have a three quarter full takn of oil at present which I'm trying to not use but when we do start using it will last a good while

also have been paying direct debit monthly to them so I am actually slightly ahead and when it gets low they will fill up automatically

I don't feel I can offer anything particularly constructive but just wanted to say that I think you're amazing, this week is bound to be tough but hang in there you have virtual support from all over the place.

well done Trinity, you are doing fab! Keep it up. Getting the kids to school is important, now go change your name!

How about TrinityTheChristmasRhino?

Well done. See you ARE on top of things. Hard to see when the black fog descends.

I do agree you need a namechange though.

You are doing so well all the time, just another bunch of love from a stalker supporter...

PS try Elfter for Christmas shopping - you can add a button to your toolbar so when your'e trawling websites, you can add to a wishlist and 'presto' keep everything in one place. Revolutionised my Christmas shopping that did!

hmm namechange might be an idea

no offence Jax but that is a tiddly tad booooring that one

erm let me think

what about this?

or will noone know its me?

people will know! excellent new name

motherofallrhinos - great name. You sounds brighter today - and good that you have carried on with getting rid of things you don't need. It is so easy to let things pile up (physically and emotionally) especially when it is dark and cold outside.

I am not much of a make-up wearer, but I do notice that I feel very different if I have washed my hair, either by jumping in the shower in the morning, or washing it before I go to bed.

well more wood brought in, tea cooking, two of three children picked up( I haven't lost the other one, she is at after school club till 5)

doing well at the mo

I like the new name as long as people will recognise me, I'm not sure

Hiya Trinity, I know we don't really 'know' each other but remember the announcement about your DH and thinking of you since :)

Sounds as if you are doing really well, I think even the strongest of people would have a few 'off days' if in your situation!

Don't worry anymore about christmas sounds like you are doing well... better than me anyway and WRT binmen etc I normally just give them a card and if I can afford I have given them chocs or biscuits for the van which they say is good for the cold because it builds up their body fat (their words not mine) :o

As for putting your face on in the morning I agree with whoever it was said about shower first thing and if you do want wear make up (I do it lazily on weekdays) just chuck on some tinted moisturiser (2 birds and all that), slick of eyeliner and a bit of mascara and rosie vaseline. Gives you the natural look but it's amazing how you feel!

Like everyone else says it's bound to be hard but baby steps can and will help as the days go on... oh and LOVE the new name :o

well I like your new name, but everyone who 'knows' you will call you Trinity... so maybe you should have Trinity Mother of rhinos?

boring... how very dare you?????

Please be TrinityMotherOfRhinos it's a lovely name and then I can shower you with admiration 'cos I think you are a star and doing so well.....( from a secret admirer)

Hi Trinity, just wanted to say hi, have been on other threads of yours before and wondered how you were doing :)

See if you think what has helped you this time, from that first post of 'kids on in school, i can't cope' to 'all kids at school, breakfast eaten, some presents sorted, etc'

Maybe even write it down, stick it in a cupboard and look at it whenever that black cloud starts again?

And thinking of it as just a small dip rather than the start of a long slide down is a good one.

Oh, and i've not even thought about binmen & postman & paper deliverer too i suppose, yet!

Nice twirl Trin. Now get those lovely girls to up and at it to school. I see we are early birds.