Lelarose Desperately Depressed #2

[thatsnotmymonkey]

Hi Lela, I hope this is OK, come over here. We will all be here for you. xx

OK well at least your MW isn't pressuring you. She sounds really good.
I just mentioned the water birth (not home birth though, I know) because with my sister was induced just by the gel pessary thing alone and didn't need the drip so she was then able to labour in the birthing pool. But I suppose that may be unusual.

Lela, you don't know me I wouldn't think, but I've followed both of your threads from the beginning, and I feel desperately sorry for you and how hard you've struggled throughout this whole process.

I think the homebirth sounds like a very sensible decision, incidentally. I was more anxious about hospitals and losing control and the whole idea of these Big Qualified Men taking my decisions about my body out of my control, then I was about the pain. It's frustrating when people tell you that you're anxious and therefore should be in hospital, when it's hospital that's causing the anxiety.

Anyway, I was one of those lucky women who got the sex I wanted, so I'm not qualified to tell you anything except that I'm another one who cares about you, is cheering you on, and does not, in the slightest, think anything but good thoughts about you. You've been really honest here, and look at all the people who have heard your honesty, and still admire and respect and care about you. Because you're pretty damn wonderful.

Thanks that really means a lot to me x

I had forgotten I even had the gels! Didn't work for me but then that was three weeks before my due date. Goes to show, you worry about these things beforehand, it's now a couple of years and I'd forgotten I'd even had them!

Have you spoken to the MW about being induced, I am pretty sure you do not need to be induced, it is your choice not to be.

Hi LelaRose,I have been following your thread and hope that you are doing ok? The way you have expressed your feelings really touched me. If you have had your baby I hope people aren't driving you mad by asking you 'if you are enjoying it?', it really is the most bizarre question to ask any first time mum! If you haven't, I hope you are being kind to yourself, there really is no right or wrong way to feel about having a baby. I haven't been in exactly the same situation, but I have felt terribly terribly guilty for not wanting a baby and then expected so much from myself as a mum in order to compensate for these feelings. Two years down the line, with a CPN and Health Visitor's help, I really do love my little boy, and I actually enjoy being with him. Depression is such a cruel illness, it sucks the joy out of everything, but you will recover. Thinking of you.

SIL went 20 days past due date to get a homebirth & once she hit the 12-14 days mark, she went in I think daily or every couple of days, just to go on a monitor for an hour or so to check the placenta & the baby. All very routine & reassuring for her. At 20 days past EDD she went into labour spontaneously & had the homebirth she wanted. The only thing that she had to do any differently was the baby had lost all its vernix from being in so long, so she was advised to use olive oil on it's skin as it was a bit dried out & flaky. Other than that, all was well. I'm pretty sure she went a fair bit past EDD on the second baby too but can't remember the exact times - she just cooks the for a while longer than most is all

Hope you're OK today lela
x

Thanks I'm really cracking up here, all the anticipation of the birth and how I'm going to feel afterwards is horrendous.

Hi lela,

If you want to talk, message me anytime.

Try and remember that you can't know how you will feel during or after the birth; your fears are just that and not indicative of the reality. I know it's hard.

Thinking of you.

Thank you I'm not doing so good here today.

I know this is a huge ask but can anyone help me with a name for him?
I can't give you my very short short list because I'm too paranoid but any suggestions gratefully received.

I find the names thread on here a wee bit snobbish so dont want to post on there.

Well I like my boys names short and timeless.

I have a Nathan

next boy (God willing) will probably be a Jesse Mark (like both).

Also like Colin (but not biblical so nono for dh)

David
Thomas

Wait until you meet him I think.

FWIW, I like Sonny.

Well, dd was going to be Noah, and ds was nearly Rowan or Jonah - I'll post his real name next post and get it deleted. Others I know and like are Ezra, Finn, Isaac, Dylan, Elliot, Morgan, Cameron. I really, really wanted Innes for ds, but was vetoed.

Hi there, just putting my bit in about induction. I was induced with DS1 with the gel pessery thingy (which felt the same as having a sweep - I'd have three by this point) and that was all I needed to go into labour. He was born just over four hours later.

I have three boys: Luke, Josh, Toby. Short and sweet :) Two of them were in the West Wing and one in Star Wars (not that that is where we got the names from but DH is a big fan of both).

habbiboo we have VERY similar taste in names!!

Lela, my DS has a Scottish name, as I am Scottish and we live in Somerset, so I took a name for my family tree.

At the moment I like:
Tristan
Alex
Jasper
Cassius
Arlo
Rowan
Noah

I love the name Reuben too, or Sam or Alex. Also Benjamin or Jonathan.

Are any of these ticking your boxes, Lela? I think it is defo worth having a shortlist, because although people say 'wait until you meet him', all babies look like Winston Churchill or Ghandi (IMO) and I'm not sure either of those will be suitable! I love Alexander for a name, you can shorten it to Lex or Xander which I think is quite cool. Don't know if you are still thinking about being induced but just to let you know that I was with the drip and it was not as bad as I feared (there are advantages to having a lurid imagination). I found that the monitor could show me when a contraction was coming and then I could take a good suck on the entenox and hit the TENS machine and it really took the edge off it, and I did feel in control. Hope you are OK.

You can also shorten Alexander to Sasha, which is cute for a little boy.

I'm voting for Alex or Elliot. Mine is a James. We struggled to agree really, but I think James is adaptable - he is normally Jamie. James when he is in trouble (running on the sofa!)

what about: alro / reuben / james / joshua / oliver / oscar / archie / luca / lucas / benjamin / owen / william / jack / matthew / charlie / thomas / ashley /

love sasha.

Alexander is my little one's middle name and great as a first name because he can be Alex, Alexander, Xander, Sandy, Sasha - whatever suits him best :)

Other names I liked included:

Vincent (not popular here but I like it)
Gabriel
Owen
Ellis
Rowan

I also think it's good to have a list of two or three so that if you don't want to have one specific name in mind you can at least see which of the shortlist he suits the most to quicken the decision :)

James is always a nice simple name for a little boy. Mark & David also. George or William? I like Toby too.