Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Pregnant, Alone, Scared, Confused, Tired

79 replies

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 00:11

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
munz · 08/09/2005 09:09

ah amanda (((hugs))) I feel so sorry for u honney, and to be honest also admire you're strength - which believe it or not u have an enormous amount of. u're better than him, and u're better than all of this. if I was u i'd get striaght onto the police (change ur numbers) and have injunctions taken out against him ad her to stop them contactin u this is harrassment. and tbh pregnancy's stressful enough wityhout him and her acting like a pair of idiots, - if I remeber rightly she's only about 18/19 isn't she? sound's to me like the stupid little mare needs to grow up and figure out what real life's like not play silly little games sending vicious emails to ppl. anyhow, can u at least block her emails? oh so on ur behalf. waht ever happens, don't u dare be bullied into anything u don't want to do with regards to the baby, i'm sure u will cope just fine without this idiot in urs and DB's life. it's ur DB and ur body so u just go on as u are and sod the lot of them. and also he knew the person u were when he met , u wouldn't stop with someone for two years if u were as desperatly unhappy as he's claiming to be and u were such a horrible person - after all at the time u didn't have children weren't married, he's basically just trying to hurt u - and succedin so far - don't let him. I know it's hard but u will come thru this hon. (((((hugs))))

so for u. ahhh men! (and silly teenage g/f's) def thou se the police about a harrassment charge don't threaten it anymore just do it. (((hugs))))

hope you're feelin a bit more positive today.

mymama · 08/09/2005 09:19

For a bloke who doesn't want to be involved why doesn't he leave you alone. Is he angry that he might have to support the bub??? This guy must be a real charmer if he managed to snare you for two years and hide this side of him from you. Just stay calm and focused on the bub and dd. Don't let this guy affect you or your bub's health. I am with you on the party for dd I am in process of planning party for 2yo on 22/9 and 7yo on 10/10!!!

Catbert · 08/09/2005 09:31

oh poor him... (massive sarcasm emoticon).

Oh poor, poor man that he DIDN'T have cancer treatment and depression. Really... Don't we all feel sorry for HIM... NOT.

So - silly childish man has a silly childish girlfriend now. Let's hope he manages to get through the rest of his life without any grown up problems and situations coming along and ruining it eh? Unlikely.

It really just smacks of teenage boy who has never faced up to the realities of life. That life is a mixture of heartache and happiness - not just one or the other. And you have to work at it. You ahve had your fair share of heartache - but your children will bring you happiness. Try and stay focussed on the happy things. Don't let it grind you down. It's only you who will suffer ultimately. Don't allow it to ruin the rest of your life.

Leave them both to their silly, playground, bitching behaviour. Barstards.

Amanda1 · 08/09/2005 10:04

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
munz · 08/09/2005 10:09

((((hugs))) well babe if he does read this then he's really just a sad looser really. (((hugs))) course this child's his responsibility, it did take him as well. (((hugs))) we're here to support u honney.

Toothache · 08/09/2005 10:10

To Amanda1 EX P - YOU'RE A SAD PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A MAN!! KEEP YOUR BARELY LEGAL GIRLFRIEND UNDER CONTROL AND BUGGER OFF.
YOU NEED HAVE NO FURTHER CONTACT WITH AMANDA. JUST SIT BACK AND WAIT FOR THE CSA!

munz · 08/09/2005 10:27

TA - exactly what I wanted to say but didn't want u to all think i was as bad as him!

Marina · 08/09/2005 10:40

Amanda, just catching up with you after being offline for a while - I was wondering whether you made a decision about continuing the pregnancy while I was away.
I don't know what to say about the conduct of your ex-p during all of this, but you need to focus on how incredibly strong and courageous you have had to be during the past couple of years and remind yourself who is the ultimate loser. His vicious, panicky behaviour lately shows you are right to have him out of your life. Anyone who can accuse a woman of developing breast cancer in order to put a downer on him needs urgent psychiatric help IMO.
Wishing you good amnio results and sending you lots of admiring, supportive vibes as ever. Your children have one strong and brave parent. XXX

Amanda1 · 08/09/2005 11:39

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Aragon · 08/09/2005 14:51

"He sent a text yesterday saying something why should this child be his responsibility for the rest of his life since he didn't want it."

Remind him that no contraception is 100% reliable and that if he had sex then the upshot is that he takes a risk that contraception may not work and a baby may result. Tell him to wear a condom every single time he has sex in the future.

And then...

Cut all ties - he doesn't deserve you or this baby.

nightowl · 08/09/2005 15:31

do you have caller display on your house phone amanda? you can have a block put on withheld numbers ringing it did you know? it costs a pound but i think they can put it on straight away. worth it for five days peace imo until you change your number. on certain mobile phones you can block a certain number texting you aswell but you would have to check the manual. some of the newer phones have this feature.

Amanda1 · 11/09/2005 20:09

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
spacecadet · 11/09/2005 20:33

amanda-its a very frightening prospect having a baby on your own, my dp walked out on myself and my 2 year old dd when i was 7 weeks preg, 12 years ago, bizzarrely he maintained contact with my dd but bombarded me with phonecalls demanding that i terminate the preg, he tried every trick in the book, it wasnt his etc, then i found out he had a girlfriend, who didnt know i was preg, i made an idiot of myself so many times, howling outside his flat when i was heavily preg, etc, i cant begin to be.ieve the distress i felt that he could turn his back on his unborn child, i even took ds to him when he was born and he slammed the door in my face, it took months before i realised that he did not want to know, it hurt like hell, but i was lucky to meet someone new, 2 years later, who i married, he adopted ds and has always treated him as his, and we had 2 more children, as far as im concerned, the loss was my ex dp's, my son gained himself a loving father. all the best to you amanda, you will come through this.your ex is the loser in so many ways.

spacecadet · 11/09/2005 20:35

and remember, anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

Amanda1 · 12/09/2005 10:42

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
spacecadet · 12/09/2005 13:21

glad to see you are feeling more positive, how long ago did you have your amnio?

Listmaker · 12/09/2005 14:10

Hi Amanda

I have just been catching up on things (holiday and a new job means no mumsnet for AGES). I'm glad you decided to keep the baby but am so sorry to read about the horrible time you've been having with the ex. Words fail me on him (and her). I am just appalled that someone should be so vindictive and cruel to someone they professed to love until a few weeks ago.

I am glad you had a better weekend and that you sound so much more upbeat today.

I know you are a nice person who's just had some terrible luck but I'm sure this baby will be wonderful and a great joy to you and you will be a lovely little family like me and my 2 dds were. I had 5 years on my own and it was tough but great (their dad wanted nothing to do with them either) and now I'm with my lovely new dp (nearly a year) and I'm sure the same will happen for you one day when you are ready.

Keep your chin up Amanda and never let the bast*rds grind you down!!

Amanda1 · 12/09/2005 19:20

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
spacecadet · 12/09/2005 19:23

i think it can take up to 10 days for all results to come back amanda, will keep my fingers crossed.

Amanda1 · 12/09/2005 19:33

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Jackstini · 16/09/2005 17:40

Hi Amanda1 - been thinking of you since these posts - have you got your results yet?

Amanda1 · 16/09/2005 18:57

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Toothache · 23/09/2005 14:54

Amanda1 - I'm glad your exDP has decided to take some responsibility (saw your other thread). Hope you are all doing well, so pleased the baby is fine.

Rhubarb · 23/09/2005 15:06

If you save everything that he and his partner have sent to you, then take it to a solicitors and get a restraining order preventing him from contacting you, you should also get Legal Aid for this. Given his behaviour you could find out about the parental rights issue, but you might have a bit of a struggle with that one.

gravity · 24/09/2005 09:13

Amanda! I have just read through these threads. You are such a brave lady! Don't ever let a man wear you down... You are inspirational. Good luck and lots of love. xoxo