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Mental health

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Original poster

Pregnant, Alone, Scared, Confused, Tired

79 replies

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 00:11

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hunkermunker · 02/09/2005 00:14

Amanda, if I could do anything concrete to help, I would. I'm not sure whereabouts you are (and don't say if you don't want to!).

You've made a very brave decision to have this baby (brave as in courageous, not brave as in stupid) - if it's at all possible, try not to think of twatty ex-DP, just this new baby growing inside you.

Much love - and do let me know if there's anything I can actually do (I'm in west London) xxxxxxxxxx

Original poster

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 00:19

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Fio2 · 02/09/2005 00:26

what a twat amanda. Sorry i have nothing more concrete to add, but i wish you all the best is you health ok now?

Fio2 · 02/09/2005 00:27

i mean your ex is a twat not you gosh really should go to bed

serenity · 02/09/2005 00:27

I've lurked on your previous threads, and don't really have anything concrete to say (except that that your xdp is a tw*t!) I just wanted to say that someone else is listening.

I don't think you've been stupid btw, just very very unlucky.

Original poster

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 00:28

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serenity · 02/09/2005 00:42

Unfortunately there are far too many people in the world who find it impossible to look beyond their own needs, who have no empathy for how their actions affect those around them. I console myself that they will end up bitter and alone, because no one can love someone that shallow for too long without realising what a wasted effort it is.

Original poster

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 00:44

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serenity · 02/09/2005 01:06

His behaviour isn't a reflection on you though, it just shows how insular he really is that he could do this. You have nothing to be ashamed of! You met someone, fell in love and trusted them to be honorable and he let you down. He's the only one in the picture who has done anything to be ashamed of.

mymama · 02/09/2005 02:03

You need to find one friend who you can talk to this about. You obviously need the support and will need even more support if the amnio means a termination. A true friend will understand why you are feeling so low. Perhaps you might be able to access a cousellor who can talk you through this and help guide you positively. Did you have a counsellor through the cancer treatment??

BTW I think the exdp is a twat and you definitely don't need someone in your life who treats you this way.

jabberwocky · 02/09/2005 04:39

I have thought of you often Amanda1. I didn't know what you had decided to do and couldn't find the thread we were posting on. It is an extremely brave decision that you have made as hunkermunker has said. Please keep posting. MN is such a great place for support. A friend of mine got pregnant last year after her husband had a vasectomy. Obviously, they had felt strongly about not having another child. But, he is a wonderful addition to their lives and a truly amazing little baby. I love him to bits already! Things will work out for you. I know it's a cliche, but I think about that line from Steel Magnolias when things get me down where Olympia Dukakis says, "Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger". So true, but of course, sometimes I want to slap people when they say it to me and I'm depressed...

lyra41 · 02/09/2005 05:09

Hi Amanda

I have nothing good to say about your xdp, I agree that he sounds like a total prat, and best avoided in future if at all possible.

I very much agree with serenity, that you have nothing to be ashamed of, however much your xdp and thoughts of him and his situation tries to take away your self-esteem.

Hope today is a better day for you.

When will you have your amnio? I had CVS done at 11 wks as I'm 40, and it was an agonising wait, but thank God, all was well and I'm now 23 wks and enjoying my 3rd healthy pregnancy.

I'm so glad your work have been supportive, it means an awful lot at times like this.

I am in Manchester, maybe we could meet up if you think it would help. How old is your dd?

lyra41 · 02/09/2005 05:13

Re getting through the day - just go through the motions as much as possible. Eat breakfast, have drinks, eat lunch, eat tea, wash, get some fresh air, try to do what you can to keep house clean and tidy, and lie down at night for about 6 hours minimum, more if sleep isn't a problem. In time, the depression will lift. If it doesn't, the GP can help with ad's, even in pg some can be taken if the benefits outweigh the risks.

Original poster

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 09:10

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nightowl · 02/09/2005 09:14

not sure if ive spoken to you before amanda and i dont know your history but ive had a baby on my own and it does get better, really it does.

dejags · 02/09/2005 09:21

Good luck with your amnio Amanda!

I don't know how to even say anything vaguely worthwhile regarding your situation. God it must be hard for you is all I can think of.

Your ex is a complete tw@t and I would gladly punch him on his nose if ever came my way.

All I can say is that maybe you should just roll with the bad days, you are not superhuman and I would challenge anybody faced with even half of what you face to put a cheerful face on.

All the very best
love
dejags

munz · 02/09/2005 09:29

amanda persummin all goes well (hopefully) for ur amnio - good luck for that, if u would like additional support us girls on the march board are v supportive of each other and also have a giggle. (((hugs))) you're more than welcome to join us.

Original poster

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 09:39

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serenity · 02/09/2005 11:24

I think Lyra's right about the whole 'work your way through the day' thing.

You need some kind of adult Gina Ford routine, so there are no moments where you find yourself at a loose end and panicking iyswim. I agree that when your DD is back at school it might be easier, school adds a structure to the day that definitely disappears during the holidays (speaking as someone who is sitting at the PC in her dressing gown at 11.30 )

I know we're not exactly 'real' but at least you know that there will be someone here to talk to when you need it.

Original poster

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 19:04

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Rhubarb · 02/09/2005 19:25

I will not say that I understand what you are going through. I went through something similar but also very different. I did however set up a website based on what happened to me, it is here Please make this decision based on how you feel, don't make it to please anyone else. Read on my site what other women have said when they were faced with similar situations. Having a termination might help you, but then again it might not. Please visit the site, I truly hope it helps. You can get in touch with me via the site too. Thinking of you and wishing I could do more.

Original poster

Amanda1 · 02/09/2005 19:31

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Rhubarb · 02/09/2005 19:34

Sorry, I just tried too, seems they have taken my site off for some reason. I have emailed them about it. My email is [email protected]. I can't email you back tonight, but will do tomorrow. Please do email me and I can tell you what happened to me.

mymama · 03/09/2005 08:10

Amanda1 I wish you luck for the amnio and hope all goes well. I will be thinking of you Wednesday. Do you think you are ready to make an informed decision regarding termination in your current mindphrase??? Are there more particular risks because of the cancer treatment???

Original poster

Amanda1 · 03/09/2005 09:04

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