Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will- Part II

[madmouse]

Help we left it too late the old thread is full!!! Hope we all find this one!!!

I feel really tearful at the moment. The snow doesn't help because it was in the snow in Janauary when I was really bad and taking zopiclone every night. I'm too tired to concentrate on my work and I am frustrated.

GetDown I would offer to babysit if I could :(

Hi all

Oh dear, dips all round

I had a bad night. Yesterday was an emotional, overfull and dififcult day and when I came home at 10.30pm I was well wired. Went up to give ds a cuddle in his sleep and discovered he had a temp, 38C - nothing major and today he's just a bit off but has gone to nursery. It's just that it seems all my stress and feelings from the whole day latched onto ds's temp and I got so anxious. Tried relaxation exercises but they caused flashbacks - so ok, bad night.

Becky please try to be a bit more patient and kind to yourself hun, you do deserve it, honest. I'm sorry the snow triggers memories, but do keep telling yourself that you are doing so very well now.

Oh and you and orangeflutie no more of this 'I've got nothing to complain about' nonsense. It is good to keep perspective but your feelings are real and they have a reason!

Urgh Getdown I would sit too, but it's a bit far and I have my friend's daughters staying the night giving mum and dad a bit of them time

Arcadia don't let him bully you!! Well done

Ahhh you two are so kind offering to babysit but agree it would probably be a bit far to come for both of you If only someone would get on and invent a teleporter

Sorry to hear you had an anxious night too madmouse - arrgh they are awful aren't they.

Aw becky wish I could give you a hug. I know just how you feel. It is the tiredness making you tearful, nothing more. You will sleep better tonight love. xxx

Sorry about your evening out being cancelled getdown. I am also way too far away to come to you to babysit, sadly!

becky i know what you mean I was at my worst during the snow last January as well and remember having such bleak thoughts. But a year has passed and you have been through ups and downs since then remember, and you will never go back to that time again. Think of all the good times you have had this year and remember that there are always highs and lows and you have got through it really well.

You guys are so sweet - thank you.

Sorry Madmouse you had a bad night. Let's hope we all sleep a bit better tonight.

Arcadia you are right :)

well we have managed to rope in a reluctant volunteer for the babysitter! A friend of ours... he was supposed to be flying out to ireland tonight but ireland snowed in, so his flight has been cancelled! Every cloud has a silver lining

Thanks everyonefor your support:)

We nearly all seem to have had a bad night last night. Perhaps it's the time of the year, the lack of daylight I think makes worries seem more intense and bugs don't help.

Just wondered what you tend to do when you get stressed? Over the last few days I seem to be doing things that don't really help and get into a bit of a vicious circle. For example I lose my appetite for 'normal' foods, drink coffee and eat sweet things. I know this becomes worse the less sleep I get.
The coffee becomes a prop but probably makes my anxiety and insomnia worse.

Why do I do this when I know it doesn't help?
Today I have felt anxious and edgy and unable to sit down. There seems too much to do. It also snowed earlier and I started stressing about getting the DDs home from school. The sense of responsibility at the moment seems overwhelming. I was so relieved when we got home and know that at least we won't have to go out tomorrow if the weather's bad.

Found out yesterday aswell that DH's course has overrun so he now won't be home til Monday:( We're both disappointed and he's desperate to get home. Just have to keep saying to myself only one more day and maybe I'll stop feeling like I'm on high alert when he's back.

Sorry GetDown crossposted. That's great news:)

Orangeflutie I also crave rubbish when I haven't slept well: wheat crunchies, orange chocolate and coffee, and coke. I do drink decaf coffee though. Would you consider trying decaf? I also get quite anxious and work harder than normal when I'm tired. I haven't stopped all day. Sorry to hear about your DH's delayed return, and it is probably causing your anxiety, I know it does me when my DH is away. It'll be so wonderful for you when he comes home and then it'll be Christmas :)

GetDown yeah for snow!

Orangeflutie how are you today? Did you sleep better last night? I did - horrible dreams though about trying to get down very narrow corridors, through very small doors, and trains coming off their rails and hurtling towards me. Weird.

Ooh Becky that does sound really strange. Wonder what it means? I often get that dream when I'm wondering around somewhere in my nightie

I did sleep slightly better I think but took a long time to actually get to sleep. I remember still being awake past midnight. I seem to be having problems winding down atm. Good news is I didn't have to get up early this morning.

Can't believe we have snow again. It's snowed all morning here and now have four inches. I went to have a shower this morning and nothing happened. I'm guessing the pump is frozen:( DH lagged the pipes before he went so at least we do have water. Will have to have baths instead.

Come back DH!! (That's if he can get on a flight)...

Is everyone else OK?

Hi all

Becky glad you slept, although nights full of dreams can make me feel as if I haven't slept!

Orangeflutie no shower that would have me grumpy soon. I'm not comfortable in a bath but love my showers.

I'm ok really - just have been on the go non stop for at least a week and have not taken the time to process some emotional stuff that has happened. String of bad nights is continuing unabated though. Went to bed far too late last night after doing 3 weeks worth of ironing (from before I fell ill!) and dh sat with me watching some stoopid kill m off one by one horror movie where people were trapped which leaves me with flashback-y feelings of being trapped myself so it took ages to drop off. Then ds awake 4-5.30 partying, then up at 8 (well ds took longer to wake than that!)because the girls who spent the night with us were being picked up by their parents fairly early.

Another house guest tonight, singing in the 11am and 6pm carol service tomorrow, work Monday and staff christmas dinner from church in the evening, dh has a meeting on Monday with a vicar who he hopefully is going to work with for a few months if it clicks. He needs to go back to work preaching etc for his sanity and mine so I hope it works.

Then Tuesday - start of my christmas holidays and peace.....

Sorry for the long ramble

Madmouse Sorry to hear you're having so many bad nights:( Sounds like you have a busy weekend ahead too.

I don't know why it is but the more I seem to have to do the less I seem to sleep. I think everything goes into overdrive and then there's too much adrenaline to switch off. You're probably still recovering from being so ill aswell.

Hope you have a better night tonight x

That is so true Orangeflutie but my problem always has been that I am a workaholic. I thrive on being full pelt. I have worked so hard this month that by mid-December I'd reached my target income for the month! I also keep myself busy with school things, household maintanence (or I try to), and all the usual stuff. I really ought to slow down next week and enjoy Christmas.

A week to go! I'm going to be one year shy of the big 40 next week - eeek.

Oh heck I've just found out DH's flight has been cancelled (as I suspected):(

I so hope he's home on Tuesday. Can't stand this waiting, I've been anxious all day. Another long day on my own with the DDs tomorrow.

I hate snow!!

oh no orangeflutie - hope he gets home tuesday!!!! x

oh orangeflutie I'm sorry hun - everything crossed for Tuesday

Orangeflutie I feel for you. It's not fair. Just one more day, that's all, can you do something today to take your mind off it and entertain the DDs? Sometimes I wish we all lived near each other I'd come over for a coffee and play or something!

Aw thanks guys:)

Becky it would be lovely if you could come over. I'm not sure you'd want to drive to Sussex at the moment though:) The roads are quite bad here and that's part of the problem. It's difficult to go out. We walked into town yesterday afternoon but this morning I've got to attempt to drive as I have to get to the doctors and DD3 is full of cold.

The snow just adds to my feelings of isolation and unfortunately a lot of my friends live over the other side of town.

DH phoned last night. He stayed in a hotel at Dallas airport and is hoping to come home on another airline (BA has no room now due to cancellations). He's planning to come home via Amsterdam and land at Southampton on Tuesday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

How is everyone else doing? I had a slightly better night last night but have an annoying cough that's making me feel a bit grotty.

hi orangeflutie hope your DH is back safely with you soon. It's horrible feeling trapped and being apart from your loved ones and not being able to do anything about it. I'm sure he'll get back OK though; it seems like the worst of the snow is over for now.

Really snowy here today - another fall of an inch or so. I've made homemade mince pies for the first time ever today - great because I'm gluten free and normally don't get to eat them but I've made them with special pastry. Hope they're nice!

I'm sleeping well. A bit too well, apparently, as DP told me DD woke a few times in the night but I was oblivious - I've been sleeping through from 11 til 8!

Hope everyone is managing to get some relaxation time as well as rushing around preparing for Christmas. Best wishes to you all x

Have you tried listening to either audiobooks that are read by someone with a voice that flows (e.g. Stephen Fry), or music if that doesn't provoke emotions? I find this helps (although it doesn't help the battery on my phone).

I'm posting here instead of the thread I started because I know this will disappear.

I'm generally alone at the moment, apart from carers popping in. I decided I was wasting people's time (new friends).

Friends and family are all either two hours south, or an hour north. My area has had over 20 cm of snow since Saturday, so snowed in at the moment.

If the psych can talk to me if pt transport cannot get in, that would be great.

I feel I can't approach the CMHT until I have seen the psych. I think she could turn round and say no drugs are safe/no talking therapy or support...previously there have been huge issues because of my mobility, meaning no inpatient (or NHS therapy as that was inaccessible) as they felt they couldn't keep me 'safe'.

When I unsurprisingly deteriorated , there was a lot of angst about me 'taking up' a single room/not wanting me on their ward because I had a PEG etc.

Hi everyone

I slept a bit better last night. I did wake up a few times but managed to get back to sleep. I've upped my dose of dosulepin by 25mg to 50mg. It's still a low dose and if I'm not feeling better in a couple of weeks, my doctor as advised me to go up to 75mg. I feel really disappointed as I had thought I was getting better but I've been going down quickly over the last week and I need some help. I haven't coped well with the thought of more surgery and have to have more dosulepin to help me sleep.

DH should be on a flight as I'm writing this. He's coming home via Amsterdam and landing at Southampton hopefully. If Southampton isn't open then he'll try Gatwick. He should be home later today hopefully. We're all keeping our fingers crossed.

arcadia it's great you're sleeping so well at the moment:)

Snowmash how are you this morning? and how is everyone else?

Hello - still here, sorry I'm a bit quiet have been finding things a struggle. Being overwhelmed suddenly with childhood memories and there is a nasty abuse memory trying to get out, it's showing glimpses that leave me feeling very scared so I am afraid to relax.

Thankfully I finished work now until the 5th so there is some rest...

Madmouse I can't begin to imagine how awful things are for you at times:(
Hang on there.

Big hug x

Orange Flutie - Im on 50mg of Clomipramine/anafranil (another tricyclic). Hopes it helps your sleep really quickly x

Madmouse - Im so sorry things have reared up again x I saw about your exam pass - well done!!! You really have done amazingly well to keep everything going alongside everything else this year. I hope the rest helps you xx