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Brexit

Westminstenders: Spitting Image Reimagined

960 replies

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2019 16:45

In a parallel universe Spitting Image never left our screens.

Theresa is a zombie who the other Tories can not not kill no matter how many times they try. Attempts to try and bump her off make up a regular weekly slot.

Spreadsheet Phil is a bit like John Major; grey and dull. But Spreadsheet Phil has something else. A giant magic calculator he spends the entire time adding up the cost of Brexit, until his fingers start giving off smoke from the speed.

The Saj. The Saj is gonna fix it. The Saj makes a point of trying to be more xenophobic than every other member of the Cabinet at meetings until everyone looks at him ranting incoherently about an orchestraed army of illegals invading on board a flottilla of inflatable kayaks.

Jeremy, now has a union jack lapel badge where his NHS one once was placed. Jeremy is a suck up. No matter what the subject, he's the one on the button with party sentiment. He flip flops depending on what the latest hot topic of Conservative Home is. He spends a lot of time checking the website for inspiration. He's usually also about two inches away from May's arse.

Stephen is a stuffed teddy bear, devoid of personality. He just gets passed around and sat in the right chair at EU meetings and doesn't speak or do much whilst wearing his rapidly fading Vote Leave Tshirt.

Gavin generally sits in the corner playing with his toy soliders and the unlucky soul he's forced to play with him today. They always look petrified and as if they have been taken hostage.

David sit with his head perpetually in his hands. He's forever cleaning up the mess that Chris has made in the office.

Matt, has an app on his phone that he constantly plays with. He now wears Jeremy's old lapel badge. He is currently trying to order body bags and insulin and not look incredibly worried. He would like a bus, but no one will give him one.

No one can remember who on earth Damian even is. They keep asking his name and job title. Its like his entire department has fallen down the crack at the back of the sofa.

Dr Liam, just bores the tits off everyone showing them his latest holiday snaps of some far flung African country no one can find on the map.

Greg. Poor Greg. He offers the Japanese a cracking deal. Then Theresa blew it. Generally speaking his job is purely to ring around businesses shouting 'ITS ALL GOING TO BE FINE. REALLY IT IS. HONEST. I PROMISE YOU'. With ever decreasing panic and sense of terror with each new call.

Michael, like Jeremy tries to stand as close to Theresa as physically possible. He's weasel looking with his hand constantly behind his back concealing a knife.

Chris sits plays with a lighter and a naked fuel or some other lethal combination, looking at it with wonder about what might happen if they touch. Everyone tends to try and sit as far away from Chris as possible as usually there is a disaster close at hand.

Amber, after having got another job after being sacked to save May resigning from the Home Office, spends the entire time threatening to resign again. Everyone ignores her, because they know she'll never do it. She's just background noise.

Andrea just fetches the home made jam, tea and biscuits and looks confused most of the time.

The potrait of Maggie on the wall, just looks on with a new expression of horror each episode.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
Hazards · 12/02/2019 16:48

Ta red

1tisILeClerc · 12/02/2019 16:49

Whoop, here we go again!

QueenieInFrance · 12/02/2019 16:50

Thanks red
Just PMK. I can’t follow the threads anymore. They move in too fast and I have to say I don’t have the heart to follow things through anymore.

DGRossetti · 12/02/2019 16:51

.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 12/02/2019 16:53

He's usually also about two inches away from May's arse.

Ok, I admit I guffawed at that image.

StepLadders007 · 12/02/2019 16:53

Sorry I'm late, I was in the hallway singing "God Save the Queen"

Where were we?

Greensleeves · 12/02/2019 16:54

Best. OP. Ever.

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2019 16:55

David Allen Green @davidallengreen
Brexiteers on Gibraltar:

"Spain ceded Gibraltar in perpetuity!"

Brexiteers on Exit Deal:

"No international agreement can last in perpetuity!"

And, bless, they do not realise the contradiction.

David Allen Green @davidallengreen
David Allen Green Retweeted Julia Hartley-Brewer
Here @JuliaHB1 claims Spain ceding Gibraltar to UK in perpetuity was about "self-determination".

In fact, in 1713 at Utrecht Spain ceded its claim to Britain, one sovereign state to another.

The local population had already left, in 1704.

Not at all about "self-determination".

Julia Hartley-Brewer @JuliaHB1
Er, I think the argument regarding Gibraltar is simply one of the right of self-determination. Same as for the Falklands. Not sure this is very complicated?

David Allen Green @davidallengreen

What is the point?

You can call out and correct factual and legal errors.

But the relentless torrent of Brexit carries on.

Brexiteers do not care about factual and legal errors, however significant, and they carry on regardless with no shame and no cares.

This is our future.

Emma Clarke @emmabclarke
This is what bothers me most about what Brexit has done to this country. The disingenuousness. The flagrant lack of respect for facts. The casual rudeness. The shameless abuse. It’s so bloody depressing.

David Allen Green @davidallengreen
This.

OP posts:
Whiney123 · 12/02/2019 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheElementsSong · 12/02/2019 16:55

Where were we?

We were awaiting the 500-page Brexit White Paper that would render all this discussion moot.

lonelyplanetmum · 12/02/2019 16:56

Brilliant OP Red 🏅

Plaice Monarch Kelim

DGRossetti · 12/02/2019 16:58

This is what bothers me most about what Brexit has done to this country. The disingenuousness. The flagrant lack of respect for facts. The casual rudeness. The shameless abuse. It’s so bloody depressing.

I think it's the reverse ... all those things led to Brexit.

TheElementsSong · 12/02/2019 16:59

Wasn't there a visitor on a recent previous incarnation of Westministenders, who was very keen on pursuing RTB around, repeatedly accusing them of being a queen bee, having nothing better to do, needing to find new activities after B-Day and so on? Got all Riley McRiledFace and had dubious punctuation?

PostNotInHaste · 12/02/2019 16:59

Thanks Red, great post - shame Spitting Imagine is long gone.

Destiel · 12/02/2019 16:59

Thanks red

lonelyplanetmum · 12/02/2019 17:00

Whiney I think it's polite to share your other interests first. Play the game properly.

Politics are clearly very important to you as, despite winning, I detect a slight tendency to bash the losers -which is generally not cricket you know.

StepLadders007 · 12/02/2019 17:01

shame Spitting Imagine is long gone

Does anyone remember John Major on Spitting Image where he got greyer and greyer every week?

I swear the same is happening to TM but in real life.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 12/02/2019 17:01

Thanks red
🐿🐿🐿 just because

Hazards · 12/02/2019 17:01

Yes elements red is gaining a weird.can clue.

Where were we?

-You were sock puppeting?
-You are afraid of the word aspirational.
-Your a fan of bigotry by and large as long as it's not associated with groups of people you deem to be beneath you.

  • You fancy bigot you.
colouringinpro · 12/02/2019 17:01
Gin
Hazards · 12/02/2019 17:02

Can clue???? Fan club!

StepLadders007 · 12/02/2019 17:02

Hazards

This is an automated response: You're a medium sized person and you have my pity.

PestyMachtubernahme · 12/02/2019 17:03

Ta RTB

NI sectarians getting along finely: www.irishnews.com/news/northernirelandnews/2019/02/12/news/armagh-to-have-two-st-patrick-s-parades-on-different-days-as-breakaway-parade-announced-1549694
four separate processions in Armagh within 24 hours to mark the patron saint

DGRossetti · 12/02/2019 17:05

Has anyone read John O'Farrells "Things can only get better" ?

He was a scriptwriter for Spitting Image and describes how the sketch where Mrs Thatcher is all alone and turning off the lights actually swung some sympathy for her ... it was an interesting expose of the British psyche Hmm

Jericho1 · 12/02/2019 17:05

This is what bothers me most about what Brexit has done to this country. The disingenuousness. The flagrant lack of respect for facts. The casual rudeness. The shameless abuse. It’s so bloody depressing

Yup.
Brexit means thug rule.

Thank you for the thread RedToothBrush

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