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Brexit

Westminstenders: Spitting Image Reimagined

960 replies

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2019 16:45

In a parallel universe Spitting Image never left our screens.

Theresa is a zombie who the other Tories can not not kill no matter how many times they try. Attempts to try and bump her off make up a regular weekly slot.

Spreadsheet Phil is a bit like John Major; grey and dull. But Spreadsheet Phil has something else. A giant magic calculator he spends the entire time adding up the cost of Brexit, until his fingers start giving off smoke from the speed.

The Saj. The Saj is gonna fix it. The Saj makes a point of trying to be more xenophobic than every other member of the Cabinet at meetings until everyone looks at him ranting incoherently about an orchestraed army of illegals invading on board a flottilla of inflatable kayaks.

Jeremy, now has a union jack lapel badge where his NHS one once was placed. Jeremy is a suck up. No matter what the subject, he's the one on the button with party sentiment. He flip flops depending on what the latest hot topic of Conservative Home is. He spends a lot of time checking the website for inspiration. He's usually also about two inches away from May's arse.

Stephen is a stuffed teddy bear, devoid of personality. He just gets passed around and sat in the right chair at EU meetings and doesn't speak or do much whilst wearing his rapidly fading Vote Leave Tshirt.

Gavin generally sits in the corner playing with his toy soliders and the unlucky soul he's forced to play with him today. They always look petrified and as if they have been taken hostage.

David sit with his head perpetually in his hands. He's forever cleaning up the mess that Chris has made in the office.

Matt, has an app on his phone that he constantly plays with. He now wears Jeremy's old lapel badge. He is currently trying to order body bags and insulin and not look incredibly worried. He would like a bus, but no one will give him one.

No one can remember who on earth Damian even is. They keep asking his name and job title. Its like his entire department has fallen down the crack at the back of the sofa.

Dr Liam, just bores the tits off everyone showing them his latest holiday snaps of some far flung African country no one can find on the map.

Greg. Poor Greg. He offers the Japanese a cracking deal. Then Theresa blew it. Generally speaking his job is purely to ring around businesses shouting 'ITS ALL GOING TO BE FINE. REALLY IT IS. HONEST. I PROMISE YOU'. With ever decreasing panic and sense of terror with each new call.

Michael, like Jeremy tries to stand as close to Theresa as physically possible. He's weasel looking with his hand constantly behind his back concealing a knife.

Chris sits plays with a lighter and a naked fuel or some other lethal combination, looking at it with wonder about what might happen if they touch. Everyone tends to try and sit as far away from Chris as possible as usually there is a disaster close at hand.

Amber, after having got another job after being sacked to save May resigning from the Home Office, spends the entire time threatening to resign again. Everyone ignores her, because they know she'll never do it. She's just background noise.

Andrea just fetches the home made jam, tea and biscuits and looks confused most of the time.

The potrait of Maggie on the wall, just looks on with a new expression of horror each episode.

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Hazards · 12/02/2019 17:05

step you make me feel christmassy with your fancy bigotry - are we related?

StepLadders007 · 12/02/2019 17:06

I used to go to a brilliant nightclub in Armagh in the late 90's - must google the name of it.

DGRossetti · 12/02/2019 17:07

Brexit means thug rule.

London calling, see we ain't got no swing
Except for the ring of that truncheon thing

Probably one of the best bands to comment on politics and keep the music great ....

SweetAndSourPrawnBalls · 12/02/2019 17:07

PMK Wine

TatianaLarina · 12/02/2019 17:07

Spitting Image reboot:

Made in Westminster: Boris gets drunk and calls everyone Nazis.

His mates Cameron, Osborne (nn Ozzy) and Clegg have left the series to pursue other more lucrative media contracts.

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2019 17:08

Oliver Norgrove @OliverNorgrove
I cannot be the only person at present who is further away from party affiliation than at any point in their life. Surely?

It seems to me that what we have at present is not a party system, as silly as that may sound. I think we've parked an issue so big into the political sphere that traditional modes of allegiance have found themselves completely splayed.

Another thing that makes British politics so bleak at the moment is that there appears to be nobody anywhere on the horizon that can maybe attempt to improve things. Sure there are gifted politicians in the Commons but political 'hope' is all but lost.

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lonelyplanetmum · 12/02/2019 17:09

Yes I have read
"Things can only get better".

Don't remind everyone of the putting the lights thing out though. TM's team may try something similar - not that they need sympathy at the moment - they are doing fine without it.

PestyMachtubernahme · 12/02/2019 17:11

I cannot be the only person at present who is further away from party affiliation than at any point in their life. Surely?

An emotion that has been expressed here many a time.

Oh well, viva la party

Are there still mutterings of a GE in May?

TatianaLarina · 12/02/2019 17:12

Made in Westminister episode 2: Jacob R-M challenged to naked Brexit debate.

TatianaLarina · 12/02/2019 17:13

Of course that would never happen in real life..

DGRossetti · 12/02/2019 17:13

I wonder if real life is going to mashup, and we all end up living on an Italianate island, with "Rover" to keep us in, and a rather natty line in personal wear ?

Be seeing you.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 12/02/2019 17:13

Dear Lord tatiana. I did not need that image.

Whiney123 · 12/02/2019 17:13

Actually you might have me convinced - maybe our national future IS better if we are absorbed into a faceless supranational institution where the head honchos aren’t elected and economic protectionism runs rife.

What WAS I thinking!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 12/02/2019 17:14

Another visitor with a number at the end of their name. Hmm

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2019 17:14

Are there still mutterings of a GE in May?

Nope. Think thats just the weekly rumour.

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Jericho1 · 12/02/2019 17:14

What I wonder. DGRosetti

DGRossetti · 12/02/2019 17:15

Another visitor with a number at the end of their name

Explained yesterday Grin

TatianaLarina · 12/02/2019 17:15

Well he didn’t agree, it was the Brexit economics academic who was naked...

Westminstenders: Spitting Image Reimagined
StepLadders007 · 12/02/2019 17:15

Another visitor with a number at the end of their name

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Told you!

lonelyplanetmum · 12/02/2019 17:16

Yes a numbered visitor who curiously refuses tell us their other interests....despite asking questions about what other people's interests are?

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2019 17:16

www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/feb/12/labour-mps-demand-workers-rights-bill-in-return-for-brexit-backing?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Labour MPs demand workers’ rights bill to secure Brexit backing

Theresa May pressed for guarantee UK standards don’t fall below those of EU in future

May can promise it. Doesn't mean it will happen. May won't be PM forever.

Well actually she might.

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BiglyBadgers · 12/02/2019 17:17

Another visitor who doesn't understand how the EU elects it's presidents.

TheNumberfaker · 12/02/2019 17:19

Can anyone recap with where we are at the moment? What is happening, if anything, on the 14th? Is there any hope left for Parliament taking back control on the 27th? What is Labour’s next move? Will any cabinet ministers resign? Sorry, I’ve been comforting a poorly daughter and have lost track...

wherearemychickens · 12/02/2019 17:19

It's the lying that gets me too. You just can't have a sensible national debate if lying is allowed to go unchecked. E.g. Boris Johnson yesterday 'there is a clear plan'.

Okay, so we voted for Brexit. That comes with very clear trade off choices to be made. We still aren't making them. We want 'sovereignty'; we lose business. You want business and trade to continue, you come to mutual agreements with other countries and sacrifice some of your freedom of action.

Whiney123 · 12/02/2019 17:19

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