Thoughts on 18yo daughter having her boyfriend stay over in our house regularly

[hafflesnaffle]

She says he can stay in spare room and nothing will go on. He lives some distance away. Im wary though and worried neighbours and relatives will gossip and this lad will be getting his ‘feet under the table’. And also having to police that nothing is going on! Daughter reckons i need to come into the 21st century! How have others dealt with it?

Why would the police be in any way interested?!

Read the post again 🙄

She’s 18 - I really can’t see the issue and I highly doubt the neighbours give two shits 😂

You can’t be serious?

What would be so terrible in them sharing a room? What are you so scared of?

Can I ask (very gently) what you are worried will go on.

She’s 18.

does she have siblings?

😂

For context, my 16yo’s girlfriend stays regularly and they sleep in the same room.

my parents wouldn’t allow my boyfriend to stay over and we were just a lot more creative

Why do you want to stop your adult daughter from having sex?
I would have the conversation with my DS if he had his girlfriend stay over when I was there and be clear I don't want to hear any bedroom activity but he's only ever had her stay when I'm not there and since they are both 17 their sex life is none of my business.

She's an adult, she's two years over the age of consent. You're being ridiculous.

I don’t want any shenanigans going on in my house. Call me old fashioned, but its basic respect!

What are you taking about?!
your daughter is an adult - what do you have to police?
and I guarantee the neighbours don’t care
wha does feet under the table even mean - didn’t you have a relationship as a teen
I think your behaviour and thought processes are extremely odd

I think you need to worry less about the neighbours for a start. She is 18 and you should’ve taking to her about how to have safe sex and what a loving relationship should look like. I would let him stay and share the room but set out expectations around sex and when it is not appropriate (especially if you have thin walls!)

If he lives further away then surely it’s sensible that he stays over rather than travelling home late. Focus on supporting your daughter and trust her to be sensible rather than caring about neighbours or others opinion. If you don’t support her then I assume they will find somewhere else to spend time together and you risk alienating her.

Yes but not in my house!

Ok, so tell her that and trust she will respect you enough. Why would you assume she'll lie to you about it?

Probably drinking alcohol (Babycham, Snowballs etc.( and generally 'whopping-it-up' ) Maybe even installing a dart board or something of that ilk. 😵‍💫

Absolutely this. My parents were very funny about me having my boyfriend over, so we went elsewhere

What a weird post.

I have no clue why you think the neighbours or anyone else would be remotely interested?
What a way to live.
Separate rooms at 18 is ridiculous imo
Let her crack on

Love a bit of shenanigans 🤪 😜

Respect for who? You?

She’s almost certainly having sex in the house when you’re not in. Is that respectful?

Also, sharing a bed is part of a loving relationship and to be encouraged- far healthier than sex in car parks so Mum doesn’t find out.

So you’re ok that your child is likely having sex in your house? Each to their own but that was called total disrespect back in my day

You need to get a grip.