my mother would have been very uncomfortable with any of us having a boy stay over. She has been brought up having to sleep in separate houses when she and my father visited her brothers and parents, they were married and had kids, all very strange but she was the only girl and rest brothers so I am sure there was a sexist element in there too. They did that under ‘respect’ too.
I am likely OPs age and my mother due to her own up bringing would have found it difficult having any of us bring a boy home, we all moved out when we were late teens
I have always encouraged an open and honest relationship with all my children. We discuss respect in relationships, use of condoms etc.
my son started his first serious relationship when he was 16 and they had been dating for a while. When he asked if they could stay at the house ( we were going away for the weekend) I am said yes. I spoke to his girlfriend’s mom and she agreed too. She did say she was glad it was at mine for the first time.
they dated for 4 years. No hiding around, sleeping in separate rooms.
when talking about healthy loving relationships , sex shouldn’t be seen as something dirty. Mutual respect is required as your children move into adulthood , your DD is a young adult now. Many people don’t get married now before having kids, some have many long term relationships- so are you going to stop her from ever having a partner over to stay? You need to think about what you are trying to achieve here tbh. As all I can see is one way to ensure your daughter moves out and doesn’t return.
let’s put it into perspective she is asking for him to stay over in the spare room.