DM knew I am going away and I told her I will call her if possible but may equally not to so I will speak to her when I am back. She was ok about it. Holiday far away, different time zone and I am on day two trying to relax. She calls me and literally first sentence is a grievance as for why I did not call, have we landed because she doesnt know, why I did not call her. Due respect if I am picking up the call means I am alive, I explained to her that I did not have a chance to get my head around it all plus there is a differnt timezone, she just hangs up. In my fantasy land I expect her to call and say ' hello I know you said you will call but I thougth I do, how are you, hope all is well' No no no she has to ruin it. All my life instead of nearly 50 I am permanently 11yo. I moved abroad 25 years ago to be away from her control and yet she still does it. I have been told here to set boundaries and I did - do not call her so often but she decides to call me herself and be unpleasant. I regularly recieve 'stories' from her about other children of her friends who take those friends on holidays etc and it is a dig at me because I dont. No matter how hard I try to set my boundaries, how far I go away on holiday or simply run away she always manages to ruin it for me. I do not know how to firmly tell her. I do not plan to call her from holiday, she knows I am alive and that should be enough. She is controlling, dramatic and nosey. She says things like 'I know you better than anyone else' - for record for past 25 years sees me 1-2 a year and we were NC for 7years. I am after 2 divorces and in therapy so all is connected. I understand they do it out of fear but fgs I can not take responsbility for her fears.