Aaagh! Started to post this earlier and stopped
But feeling a bit more balanced.
Backstory: DM has dementia. Currently in a lovely care home where they try very hard - she’s had so much more interaction with people since she went there.
But she wants to go hoooooome, This is usually accompanied by tears and threats of suicide.
We’re going through the DoLs process, but her own solicitors agree that the risk of her having a trial at home are too high.
DSis and I live a long way away (5 - 6 hours) - we come to visit when we can but it’s very hard.
Today I came down on the train which was massively delayed, so I wasn’t in the best place to start with. She was really pleased to see me, but we then had to do the “why can’t I go home” conversation. She looks so well, and sounded quite together, so I felt sooo guilty and sad, But I do know that even if I wanted her to be at her house it wouldn’t happen.
I was holding it together ok until we got onto her “other house”. This is a completely fictional house she’s decided we’re all moving into. I tried so hard not to contradict her, but when she said “ah well, you said DS couldn’t manage the hill to the other school”, I said “well, he’s settled so well into his new school we don’t want to move him” and she went ballistic!
“I’m monitoring your fibs! I’m very smart you know and I’m keeping an eye on all the fibs you’ve told me!”
At that point it was time for me to leave. I just said I was tired after my long journey. But seriously I needed such a big cry! Just too sodding hard! How do I cope with this?