Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

I should say I do shift work and didn't get up until midday today so I had the cheese on toast about 4 hours ago.

Working early, late and night shifts really doesn't help with my eating patterns...

Dps just gone to work so I'm alone and hungry. I don't know what to do or eat.

I'm half way through the first thread :) starting to feel like I'm getting to know you all!

Agrestic - eat something! Look at it this way, if you are starving by the time you get to zumba you won't be able to work as hard or enjoy it. Listen to what your body is telling you and respond in a calm and sensible manner now, rather than hitting the point where you are so ravenous you demolish whatever you have to hand, regardless of nutritional content and also end up overeating it. Appetite/hunger serves a very important purpose - what you are doing when you battle it is akin to refusing to go to the loo when feel you need to, or not going to bed when you are exhausted...what is always going to be the outcome ?

What do you have there that you could eat now? Could you have a banana or an apple with some nut butter? Some greek yoghurt with fruit and nuts or a bowl of porridge with some fruit and nuts? Some houmous and crudites? Please stop thinking that fat in food = fat on your body, it really isn't!

- just read your post about shift work, you have my huge sympathy, it does play havoc with appetite and weight as it works against our natural circadian rhythms that impact upon our metabolism.

Still eat something now though !

I'm boiling an egg and have made some green tea! I'll have a proper meal later when dp gets home but that will be at about 11...

I know shift work is awful but I'm not going to be getting a 'normal' job anytime soon so I just have to deal with it.

I think the best plan is to make sure I have breakfast, lunch and dinner regardless of what time of day it is?

That sounds like a good plan with the meals . Can you add something a little bit carby to your egg ?

Good no one deserves to be treated that way. It says a lot more about the people who peddle that shit, than it does about us.

Sleep thank you. It's been a long road but a good journey to be on.

Agrestic doing shifts must make it very hard to find a pattern for yourself.

Margo I hope you time away went well.
purple hopefully today was easier for you.
carrie I hop you were feeling a bit more relaxed today.
Happy & House I hope you are both ok.
Maggie, I'm still thinking of you.

Quite a group we are becoming. It's lovely to be in such good company.x

Recovery how are you doing? Have you had a chance to read any of the past thread?x

See I've just eaten it on it's own but was debating whether to have it on a slice of toast but I've already had two slices today so I didn't..

If I'm going by breakfast lunch and dinner I've just had my lunch and a boiled egg isn't really good enough is it.

Talking about it really helps. Thank you :)

Definitely. My head luckily now heard "blah blah, jealous, not enough in their own life"
I try never to say anything that isn't necessary or true or kind
I haven't eaten yet today shift work here too

You're getting the hang of the three decent meals thing quickly Agrestic

Goodas what is your doctor concerned about? Have you had the usual stuff checked and there's an issue? Or is he just looking at BMI alone ?

BMI and the weight on the scales

Hi all, just checking in.

Thanks Fighting, still feel rubbish and down, and bad about myself. I'm piling on weight and can't work out how to not restrict my eating and yet restrict what I eat, IYSWIM .. I should allow myself to eat what I want, but eat healthily .. ?? I can't get my head round it at all. All I crave is sweet stuff

Today I had rye bread with butter and cheese for breakfast, a McD chicken wrap with fries for lunch, sausages with mash and cauliflower cheese for dinner, a morning snack of 3 digestive biscuits and an afternoon snack of a mini snickers and a glass of wine with dinner.

If your feeling that conflicted, perhaps for a while don't worry too much about the 'healthy eating'. Sleep got me to swap that term for 'Nutritious' or 'less nutritious', it helped.

The main thing is to tackle one at at time. I know for me if I have to much to achieve it spins in my head and I get worse. So perhaps just tiny steps, eating regularly first. Then when you feel ready (this can be weeks) then try adding something more nutritious to one meal. When you feel comfortable, try for two and then three.

I get the sense that you're panicking and that is hindering your progress. The best thing is to strip it back to what you feel you can cope with and build up when you're ready. There is no pressure other than our own thoughts. We have the power to stop that, we just have to trust in ourselves.x

Hi Carrie, Fighting is right, relaxation is key. If you are getting stressed about food it's the worst possible thing. Perhaps another way of approaching it is to think about quality-whatever it is you choose to eat, is it the best quality version you can get (no matter what it is, include takeaway and cake/chocolate etched in this!)? Regularly choosing to eat the best quality food not only maximises the nutritional value and enjoyment you will be getting but also sends a powerful psychological message that you are treating your body with care and respect. So think about how fresh your food is, if it is heavily processed/mass produced or home cooked from scratch. What kind of treatment did the animals providing you with meat/eggs have? Is the fruit and veg local/in season? I'm sorry to suggest it but perhaps McDonald's isn't the best quality version of anything !

Sorry, etched = etc !

McD was a treat we'd promised dd for half term Normally I try not to eat there, but I was starving.

I can't get my head round the fact that I am allowing myself to have what I want, yet I can't eat what I want? ?

Sorry, I know I'm being dim, but I don't think I can do this. My clothes are uncomfortable, even my "fat" clothes I can't stop myself eating sweet stuff and I can't afford the best of anything I can only afford cheap crap

But thank you all for your help and for listening. Sorry to be so negative, hope I haven't discouraged anyone else.

Carrie I eat what I want, still. It's the only thing that keeps me on track. Trying to eat really nutritious all the time was restriction that triggered anxiety and wanting to binge. So I stopped trying to put that in all the time.

My typical days food (weekday's)

Breakfast- Soya yogurt / scrambled egg on toast.

Lunch - Sandwich with crisps or soup (if not had toast) / tin of makrel.

snack: chocolate rice cake.

Dinner - meat with couple of veg (frozen) and new potatoes / pasta & garlic bread / noodle stir fry.

Snack - mini choc bar & mocha decaff.

There will be
one take out a week typically but last weekend we had 2 &home cooked pizza and chips.

I'm not saying this is nutritious but thats what works for me. The complete feedom means lack of pressure and I often choose to have something better for me or not continue to eat when I don't need to.

My success so far is changing mentally and not beating myself up so much. It will be a long while before I can properly tackle my intake without relapse. My only sucess is to cook dinner each night from scratch and freezing half. That's ok for me.

Have you got the Overcoming Binge Eating book? That helped me go step by step and feel like I had structure, without expectations.x

Carrie don't worry, we will listen for as long as you need to talk .

I know it is difficult to get your head around the concept of a 'non-diet' yet make 'right' choices. There is nothing 'wrong' with the food you describe with the mcd for lunch as one day, but it is sugar and carb heavy (which in itself will send your blood sugar crazy, leading you to want more sugar) and because it seems like a typical day for you then means you will likely be lacking protein, nutrients and EFA's...which your body is hungry for - though you interpret this as craving sugar too.

On a scale of 1-10 how much did you enjoy the McD chicken wrap? I use the term 'nourishing' to encompass not just how valuable a food is nutritionally but also how it makes us feel. A meal can 'score' pretty low nutritionally but the way it makes you feel, whether because of what it is or the atmosphere in which it is eaten (a family celebration filled with joy, or a romantic meal out, or a dish that takes you straight back to feeling like a child, safe and comforted) can give it a very high score in terms of how nourished - emotionally - you feel by it. There's nothing wrong with using food as comfort this way but it loses its power to comfort when you use it all the time or if it becomes your only comfort. It starts becoming a problem instead. Each time you eat, think about what the food is 'feeding' - your body or your soul? If the answer is neither then do you really want to eat it? Is there something available that would do one or the other?

With the quality thing, there's almost always a choice, it doesn't have to be between 'best and expensive' or 'cheap crap'.

I should say, I don't eat without any consideration to my health. That wouldn't be a good idea. I have one meal with lots of vegetables and try to get protein at breakfast or swap it for lunch. I just try my best each day.

I can tell you what I do and what works for me. It won't be the same for everyone and ultimately sleep has the best insight and knowledge to guide you to where you need to be. I apologise if my post about what I eat was contradictory to her advice. It wasn't meant as an alternative.

If we don't give our bodies what they need, it will be hard to achieve any changes.

Hope you all have good days.x

Sorry Carrie if you feel I am being critical, that's not my intention at all . To try and explain more, I would like you to stop thinking in terms of 'shouldnts' with food, but I do want you to think about what is good for your body and make sure you are getting that, regardless of what food you eat that you may have labelled as off limits before. Especially I want you to get these good things through the day, because it should leave you much more satisfied by the evening, when your cravings strike. That's not to say the cravings will disappear, but they may well lessen .

It sounds like you are looking after everybody around you and you have to be the one to look after yourself too - so make looking after yourself the first priority, (think about the oxygen mask rule on a plane !) As you would make sure a DC of yours was being well fed, do the same for you.

Ask yourself at each mealtime if there is something great for your health included, aim for 8 or 9 times out of 10 the answer being yes - regardless of what else you choose to put on your plate. So for example I would suggest having poached eggs on your rye toast for breakfast, with grated cheese on top if you like, almost the same breakfast as before but the eggs add much more good stuff in there. At lunch, have some salad alongside your sandwich, as varied as possible. Make a point of having a snack of something like half an avocado, some houmous, raw nuts, fruit or olives, even if you have 2-3 biscuits after that. Your body needs these things, you need to build up your health a bit. Keep giving yourself choices every time you think about food. If you are really going to enjoy the chocolate bar, have it and enjoy it, savour it, use it for its comfort value, make it worth it . Does that make sense?

Fighting, I wouldn't say I have the best knowledge at all! I am just suggesting what I think is well worth trying, as is everyone else here who has seen progress - of course everybody is going to be different and there is a lot of trial and error and practice needed along the way to find the right way individually .

Gosh this thread is now v quick moving! Great that so many of us have found a home. Do post - the good, the bad and the ugly!

Welcome Agrestic, Recovering & Good.

As overwhelming as it might be it is worth reading the old thread, if only for the empathy and realising we all have lots in common.

I had a lovely weekend away, but as with any holiday I struggle with the increased eating (buffet breakfast etc). I am also due on and this thread has helped me realise how much of an impact that has on me/my moods etc.

I was also wearing over the w/end what could only be described as a 'gastric band' type bra. I ordered online and it was the only clean one I had to wear, so I had to endure that which was both physically and mentally (!) uncomfortable. If I was at home I would have sent it back.

It is making me think I have put on stones (which is unlikely). I need to try to do some exercise. Due to being so busy with work that has slipped. My running buddy has signed up with a personal trainer, so isn't around as much. I will text her to try to tempt her out this week. I am just so much better when I am with someone!

Carrie I really feel for you and identify with your struggles....

I haven't managed to embrace not restricting/forget the diet as well as fighting and purple have as yet. I often think wistfully about 'doing something about my weight'....However, I know that in a year of thinking that I should be a on a diet I actually weigh around the same. So, what is the worse than can happen if I drop the idea of thinking I should be on a diet....

It can be easy to miss in the thread but I'd encourage you all to watch this Ted Talk that Sleep kindly shared about why diets don't work www.ted.com/talks/sandra_aamodt_why_dieting_doesn_t_usually_work

goodas, have you considered getting a proper health/fitness check done? Body fat, resting pulse, blood pressure, cholesterol, VO2 max...this would give you reassurance about your health if you feel you want or need it and then you could stick it up your doctor's bum show it to your doctor ?

I know some of those - resting pulse 60, last peak flow was 580, bp 130/85
Being brave today - I have driven 430 miles from home for a night away
Breakfast was oats and raspberries
Lunch at Starbucks- panini and coffee