#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 10

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2944496--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-9
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2908645--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-8
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

Ya wish your bfp is such good news! And yes I was at CRGW and they bend over backwards for you, such lovely very people.

And now I'm joining ever at Serum in Athens who have also been bloody great in the communication department!

Yeah paws4 it's so hard. I would like it all, i.e. a loving partner to have the baby with. I get that they want that for me. But their concerns only make it harder for me, as while I have decided this is definitely the right route for me, I am mourning the 'loss' of not having that special someone in my life (not that I have for ages, but I've been looking/hoping!)

Oddly it used to be babies on TV that upset me and made me weepy, but now I have decided to do this, I am lapping up baby programmes but now it's people getting romantic that make me feel a bit sad!

Anyway, to put behind me and move on with this exciting journey! Sorry my last few posts have been a bit self-focused, had a hard week but looking forward to getting on with things now and learn from all you ladies what to expect in my near future!

The worst of it is the loss of the hope I had. I had a glimpse of the perfect future: loving partner, baby naturally conceived, happy family.

Now I don't even know if I'll have any of that.

It feels like I allowed myself to dream and then set myself up for greater disappointment.

Relationship is still salvageable but he says it's unlikely that he'll be the person I have kids with. Given that I'm 40 and I don't have the luxury of time then not sure where that leaves us.

At least I can't actually do anything at the clinic until I've had my operation so it is hiving me a few months of waiting time to re-assess and take stock.

It does focus the mind though. I want children. That drive is paramount. I can't give that up for a partner who might not stick around. I hope he does but sadly I can't rely on it.

Sounds like we all need a bit of a group hug round about now!

Good plan hugs to everyone

(((Group huggggg)))

tygr I sympathise, last year I met a guy I thought was finally the one and he just ended it with zero warning. It was basically him and that experience that has prompted me down this path.

Big group pile-on, loving hugs to everyone!

The Samaritans are worth their weight in gold. Have been getting me through this.

No-one said this journey would be easy eh?!

Congratulations to everyone who is currently pregnant, commiserations to everyone who hoped to be but isn't yet and good luck to every single one of us, wherever we're at.

Possibly will read the thread but am feeling a littleness fragile at the mo so sorry for group and not individual responses.

The love we feel for our children (or so I have been told) is completely different to anything that we'll experience with a partner. I don't want to project any neediness for love onto an innocent child that will have their own life to live but hopefully because I'm aware of that, I won't be a burden to them (if they ever get born) and just love them as best as I can and be the best parent and best person I can be.

Hi all, sending hugs to all. I'm currently 4+4 but tonight am having some spotting. It's only light and I'm trying to tell myself it's nothing and normal but am obviously freaking out. My wife is being super supportive and saying all the right things, it's just terribly frightening! Planing to ring and discuss with clinic in the morning xx

Tygr big hugs sweetie, you know where we are if u need us xx

Wish hoping it is just some implantation bleed and will stop as quick as it started. Let us know what the clinic say tomorrow. Keeping everything crossed for you darling xx

wish spotting is fairly common I think in early pregnancy and doesn't necessarily mean bad things. It must be hard but try and relax and see what the clinic says. Hope all is ok

Good luck for your scan today snork

Hi ladies, so I decided to test this morning as the missus is working away tomorrow/Weds, better she's here. I know it was two days early, kicking myself for giving in and going early. And it was BFN.

I know that's what to expect - it's just luck and the odds. Can't help but be a bit disappointed. Will test again on Weds, my two week date from IUI. But not expecting any different. Then just wait for AF to start again so I can get back on it with the Gonal F, I suppose.

Not dealing super well with things being out of my control. I have always been able to study for exams, prep for interviews, work hard & do anything I set my mind to. This being all in the lap of the gods is just really unsettling. Totally irrational. Just v grumpy & disappointed.

In other words, am joining the group hug!

And sending a special hi! to tyger, I have no words of wisdom, babe, sorry, just have some solidarity-hugs. And a reassuring gentle hug to wish, am sure your missus is right and it's nothing.

Hi all, clinic seem to think it's all normal, so fingers crossed!
London don't panic, we tested early and it was bfn too, didn't get bfp till 15dpiui. It's not over yet!

Ah London that sucks, hopefully it'll suddenly change to bfp hugs! Totally is a might fcuk :( just got to rest that everything can be 100% right but still not work because it just doesn't sometimes. I found the stats really helped as at 28% for medicated iui (based on my clinic results) I knew it was slim chances

Wish any news your end, thinking of you

Good news Wish!

I'm bisexual and trying not to go down the route of blaming men for everything and wishing I'd stick with women. But maybe I'd have been better off....

It will work out. One way or another.

And now I have to ask Alexa to play Debbie Harry.

Thanks for all the hugs guys. Appreciated.

Had 2 calls from the clinic now, they have said it's nothing to be concerned about as it's very light and brown rather than red. However, it's continuing and I'm terrified! Fingers crossed it stops soon! X

Tygr here for you whenever, however you need

This is all sharing joy and in my opinion a basic human behaviour- to have a baby

wish hope all is well

london what did you test with? Please use a FRER on Wednesday. A BFN is like a kick in the teeth

I asked IVI to clarify costs last week and the admin responded saying she was new and did not know about costs for UK & Spain protocol... WELL FLIPPING FIND OUT YOU BOZO!!!

I really do not want to fall out of love with new FC.

Arrgh kwick I hear you! Why can't they be informed on the admin side. Do they think we will just be able to blank-cheque the whole thing??

Wish fingers crossed for you that the spotting vanishes quickly and you get some peace of mind

London so sorry you didn't get the result you were hoping for. Like Wish says, there's still a chance so fingers crossed for you

I had my AMH result today and it is 21, so can progress to next appt and have more bloods and consult on Fri, yay.

kwick im face palming no on your behalf right now! How are what she said at all helpful?!

Let's try that again:

kwick im face palming on your behalf right now! How is what she said at all helpful?! Numpty.

AH hugs all round!!
Totally know how you feel tygr I was with someone for years, thought he was the one, suddenly out of the blue we split and then found out he'd cheated, absolutely heart broken. I then lost a very close family member a couple of years later who was my rock and then I made a big move to other side of country where I had a bad illness and I became a bit of a recluse and just couldn't not meet guys anymore, total confidence knock. I have picked myself up dusted myself off and met a few guys recently but all no gos!
Nah anyway rant over. Must be hormones. Lol. Group hug. Let's hope all of us have some good news!

I keep having some customer play me up today and move their appointments about right when next week will probably be the week for collection/transfer and I'll need to take time off. ahhh.

Right deep breaths, mediation and early night tonight lol.
Good new wish and good luck snork hope everything Goes well x

Ah kwick what ball ache! What a absolute tw@t -why wouldn't you find out the info and then reply rather than making the clinic look useless!
Wish really hoping the spotting stops soon so u can stop worrying
London keeping everything crossed, and like kwick said make sure you use a frer.

Turtle 🐢 fab AMH results! Good luck for Friday!

I'm not man hater just not for me....like seriously I was at a mates on Friday and her hubby comes home at 7.30-the girls ask if they can watch a movie (they are 4 and 7) so he says yeh later-while me and my friend are like 😱noooooo bedtime soon, strike 1 against mummy and auntie pickle!! THEN he goes ooh I need to go and sort the garden out and mo the lawn-ummmm no wtf! Bedtime is priority, (these kids who are awful at going to bed anyway) so we did the stories and hot chocolate and teeth/toilet etc! Which I have no problem with as we usually read roald Dahl books together but if my husband came home late and think mowing the lawn was the property I'd feking kill him! He was faffing till 9.30 while we did the bed, washed up, tidied up etc. I'd rather just know it's me myself and I than have some useless oblivious man that would just annoy me....:ok oops rant over 😂

Pickle totally hear you! I think it would be harder to expect some help from someone and keep not getting it, than just face into the fact that you have to do it all anyway.

There are some lovely partners out there I'm sure, but for me starting this journey alone is the best thing for now