#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 10

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2944496--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-9
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2908645--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-8
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

mandy, hi, so I’m with Serum in Greece doing a double donor embryo adoption (same as double donor egg and sperm donaction, except it’s using already created blastocysts, and it’s cheaper than a double donor fresh cycle)

I’ve done three ivf/icsi previously in the uk, but all bfn. Just had my FET in serum and unfortunately bfn, but hey, there’s always next time....

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Xoxoxo

Aww stork I am so sorry, hope you are doing ok

Welcome somewherethatsgreen, choice of clinic will really be down to what feels right for you. I would recommend speaking to a few and visiting if you have time. If you are using a clinic i. The Uk you will have to use a donor that is non-anonymous, this tends to make sperm a bit more expensive and you will also have to pay for a pregnancy slot (basically the right to use that donors sperm). I have found the cost of this varies from place to place. Once you have selected your clinic they will advise what sperm banks they will allow you to use. In terms of time I would recommend starting speaking to clinics sooner rather than later. At least you can get some basic tests done and find out where you are fertility wise. IUI success rates are not that high but I have read most people will have success after 3-6 rounds (I moved onto IVF after my 3rd round). There is so much information available but hopefully this will have given you a start. Please ask any other questions that you have as there are lots of women on this board who will be able to help

Hi somewhere, it’s always good to plan ahead 😊
Experience on this thread has taught us how things can take longer than originally expected so it’s good you’re looking at your options now.
I was like you, 34, no fertility issues, a good AMH for my age (that’s the hormone that tells you about your ovarian reserve - worth getting it checked so you know), and yet it took me more tries that I had initially planned for. IUI is at best a 20% chance each try. I was given a 10-15% chance each cycle as I was doing unmedicated and in the end moved to IVF after 3 failed attempts, which dramatically increased the cost of treatment!

Others have had more luck and for them IUI worked on 1st or 2nd try and some ladies on the threads are still waiting for their BFP, so you simply never know... all in all I consider myself very lucky it worked after 4 attempts and ‘only’ spent about £10k (or maybe more but who’s counting 😬)

Having some savings will definitely help and researching about the implications of using a donor is important too and can take time. I used a London clinic as didn’t want to have to take time off work at short (read: last minute) notice and also wanted to use a contactable donor. I used ESB in Denmark.

Welcome Mandy too.

I don’t post much on here anymore but I’m still following all of your journeys and wish you the best of luck xx

Thank you both! That's really helpful. Where did you get your AMH tested? Is this available through NHS or is it paid for privately? I think I may do this pretty soon. While I don't have a choice about waiting for a few more years, I guess it will give me an indication about how quickly I need to get a move on once possible.

Are any of you going to be single parents? If so, what are your thoughts on this? I am not too worried about raising a child on my own and research suggests that the outcome for children conceived by single mothers by choice are as good as those raised in nuclear families, but I do worry a bit about things such as childcare and juggling work and getting to see my one-day children as much as possible.

Stork, I am really sorry to hear that. x

somewhere there are a mixture of people on this board but a lot of us are single mums to be.* I am fine with my decision to go down this route, it will be tough but I am sure that I will cope with whatever happens. I think you do need to have a plan re:childcare etc and build this into your finances. Also think about you work schedule and how flexible it is.* I am a great believer in it will all work out in the end whatever happens so thats the attitude that I am taking

Welcome Mandy!!!

Yay London!!! Please do not fret as you are now PUPO!!! And having one in freezer is just grand.

Welcome somewhere!!!

I am one of the long timers on the thread - we have our potted bios at the start, usually.
Despite being the eldest I am the least prepared as I am a more “fly by the seat of your pants” kinda girl
I am sure it will be a struggle at times to be a single mum but hard does not mean impossible.

So it seems I can almost pick the date of my FET!!!! So have pencilled in 20/11 - lining scan on 14/11 willing!!!!

AMH, it’s unlikely you can get done on NHS. My clinic charged £75 for it I think but any clinic will probably want to see you for a consultation first...

Spreadsheets are the key to being a single parent - plan, plan and re-plan! Like Bear, I know it will be hard but I will make it work. The cost of full time nursery in London is extortionate but it will be worth it as I know it will provide the best environment for my baby girl while I’m at work. I’ve had to work on a 5 year plan to convince myself it was all possible before going ahead with treatment. In this respect, I think that makes us very responsible parents to be so don’t let anyone undermine your plans to become a single mum. You will be faced with the odd negative reactions but so far I’ve had an amazing response from all my friends and colleagues (and family of course) and they haven’t questioned my choice, they’re just thrilled I’m having a baby and genuinely in admiration that I’m tackling this on my own. And you know what, there are so many children raised by a single mum that our situation is far from being an exception - and at least we’ve planned for it rather than being let down by someone!

It's really nice chatting to all of you. I don't know anyone in 'real life' who has gone down this route.

Pez, I have more or less accepted that for me it's kids or London, both is just not feasible for me. Childcare is a big worry. I will still be working long shifts, incl. regular nights and weekends, so will need flexible childcare which may be very tricky to actually afford. But then other people are in similar situations and make it work. So it clearly can be done.

Re: reactions, I have actually discussed my plans pretty openly with friends and family and nobody reacted negatively, so I am lucky in that respect.

Thanks for the welcome messages guys. Stork I’m doing my treatment at eurolab in Thessaloniki which was recommended to me by my acupuncturist. So far they have been very good. I have implications counselling on Friday this week and a Skype consult on Friday before work. I just hope that they find me a match soon. I hope you’re doing ok after your set back. Fingers crossed it’ll work for you soon.

Sorry that’s embryolab!! It’s been a very long day! Lol

Can anyone tell me how much the medication for a DE cycle cost them as I’m not quite sure what to expect. Thanks

It’s about £500 for a medicated FET. That’s assuming you get progynova, utrogestan, aspirin and clexane for a couple of weeks pre transfer and until 12 weeks post transfer. You may be able to do it cheaper if your GP will prescribe some of the meds if you get a positive test. The clexane is the most expensive bit of this lot.

They generally do all their transfers as a FET because their freeeze/thawing is so good that by doing a FET they don’t have to worry about trying to sync you with the donor and can arrange your transfer for when your endometrium is optimal.

Thanks earlgrey that’s very helpful. I still have the progesterone pessaires left from my last cancelled cycle so at least that’s something. What does cimex do? Are any of those needles? Thanks again

Thanks earlgrey that’s very helpful. I still have the progesterone pessaires left from my last cancelled cycle so at least that’s something. What does clexane do? Are any of those needles? Thanks again

mandy it depends what you are prescribed- I am on Progynova, Cetrotide and Cyclogest (yes our all time favourite!!) - I was able to get through Asda - all for round £250.
When I did a stumulated IVF with CRGH the initial meds alone were £3k!!!

Hello all!
It’s been awhile since I’ve been active on the board. Lots of new members! I love reading through and catching up, sounds like a lot of exciting times ahead. Just wanted to let you know that my baby arrived yesterday after 20 hours of labour and then an emergency c section. This board helped me so much and I wish everyone the best!

Ah Karen - congratulations!! Gorgeous baby I'm so pleased for you.

Take care of yourself and give yourself as much of a chance as possible to recover from the C section. A little bit of care now is a good investment for a quick recovery!

I just saw this thread pop up in Active Conversations and saw your name on a post and hoped that it might be baby news!

Congratulations Karen! What a lovely baby. Hope your recovery is going well.

Mandy I'm in the middle of a FET cycle (own eggs) and I'm on Lubion which is £70+ a week (Clinic or Boots). In addition I have cyclogest, hrt patches and metformin which came to about £60 for three weeks. I'm currently trying to decide whether to get the next prescription now or wait until I've tested at the weekend but worry about getting them in time... Waiting to hear if the clinic would put me on the same stuff next time - if so I'll order!

Has anyone else taken Lubion or prontogest, and if so did you manage to get them from Asda?

Not been on here for a while so just catching up.

Congratulations karen, cute baby. 20 hours sounds rough but am glad you are both well.

I am on prontogest late. I got it through my clinic so definitely not cheap (£20 a box)! My drugs cost me an absolute fortune as I was on the maximum doses for everything due to DOR. Finding protongest quite painful tbh. I get days where I can't sit down properly and have started rolling out of bed so I don't put pressure on the sore bits! Only 16 more days to go though thank god! I hope your 2ww isn't too awful. When do you test?

Hi somewhere. You don't necessarily need to have an initial appointment done to get an AMH test. At my clinic my sister came with me to an appointment and the doctor suggested she got hers tested as mine was so low and said they could do it for £50. I will also have to juggle childcare as I work nights and weekends. My family have been really supportive though and have offered to help which is a relief.

Congratulations wish. Fingers crossed for a sticky one.

Really sorry to hear about your BNF stork. Hugs.

I have also not been making spreadsheets kwick. Just know that I will make it work somehow. Am so glad things seem to be going well for you. Hoping for good news for your scan next week.

Welcome mandy and frank. I have found this group massively supportive plus there is almost nothing that someone on here doesn't know.

Sorry if I have missed anything.

Aww karen it’s lovely that your baby is finally here. Nice to see some good news on the feed. I hope you recover from the c-section quickly. Take care

Karen what a beautiful baby..congratulations.

Kwick thanks I have cetrotide left also. By some standards I suppose my meds’ for the last IVF weren’t too expensive...only £712 for everything. Just wish some of it wasn’t going to waste. The bemfola, menopur and trigger shot are useless now. 3k is crazy expensive!!! I found the pharmacy at the hospital to be the cheapest around Warwickshire.