#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 10

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2944496--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-9
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2908645--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-8
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

ever I hope all went well today, welcome to the tww rest up and enjoy the sun now

Thats good paisley its always a relief to know everything is working ok

paisley this is great news! Well done!

ever I hope you are having a rest round about now with a 🍍nearby!!! I am so pleased you are in such good hands.

So my home renovation saga continues... at least now builder has all he needs to get the job done - but unlikely to finish before next Tuesday. My current plan is to arrange for a deep clean to occur on the wednesday and move that pm or on the Thursday.

Bfn on my test day today! Absolutely gutted 😞😞😞
Good luck to everyone else!
Going to be a bit quiet for a while to get my head around things x

Oh paws! I am so sorry. Big hugs from us all. Quite understandable that you need to take a break. Be kind to yourself today xx

Aww paws i'm sorry to hear that, its really tough to get a bfp when you have invested so much emotionally. Take care of yourself and come back when you're ready

Paws I'm thinking of you today..there is nothing that prepares you for that giant gut-wrenching stab in your heart. Take your time and good care of yourself.

Quieter on here at moment isn't it. Hope all is well.... so sorry paws. Take all the time you need, we re not going anywhere. It's a heartbreaking disappointment..

Thanks for all the well wishes. So kind.
My final tally was 5 top grade blasts and I eventually went with 2 transferred yesterday. That was not my original intention but with age, medical history, medical advice and other research I found at last minute I went with that. 3 have been frozen so I have 2 more attempts as I froze 2 together. It was good to save the extra money the storage would have taken.
Am in Greece for majority of 2ww so concentrating on holiday now and have timers set for my various medications..

paws, I'm so sorry. Take all the time you need. Xxx

kwick good luck with the renovations!

ever yay! So happy for you, enjoy the heat!

I'm really sorry Paws. Really disappointing. Definitely take some time.

Good luck to everyone currently in 2ww.

Congratulations Snork! Amazing news.

Oh paws what a fcuker

Ever hope you get some quality chillax time - the last months have been a rollercoaster 🎢 for you and hopefully you can get the headspace to centre yourself.

Renovations saga continue... bathroom floor in, I think they have painted throughout except bathroom. I think the builder is working through the weekend- I bloody hope so as I really want to be back in by Thursday tops!
I really wish that I would have had the notion to put everything in storage for the duration...

Still no further concrete news from IVI...

Hey everyone, been away on hols and so much to catch up on!

So sad to hear the news Wish. Also to paws on BFN.

Good luck and fingers and toes crossed to all on TWW - London, Bear, Ever I think - have I missed anyone?

Massive congrats to Snork - so happy for you!

Good luck to everyone else at the various stages of treatment. I'm hoping my blood results will be back soon and then I can get on with the egg share IVF.

Today I went to the pharmacy to pick-up my Pregnyl 5000 for the next cycle that my fertility specialist prescribed to use as a booster 4 days after the iui. Please, someone block my Google - I keep on searching for experiences with having this hcg shot after the ovulation. But the results show that usually women get 3 shots of 1000 or 1500, not just one of 5000. The truth is that I usually don't have problems with progesterone level in the luteal phase. So maybe that's why I don't need a regular support over several days.
MUST. STOP. GOOGLING.

Paisley I had pregnyl to make me trigger ovulation (10,000) then day 3 (5000)and day 8 after (5000), the pregnyl has a half life of about 33 hours so 5000 will stay in your body for about 10 days so if you have day 4 then you'll luteal phase will be around 13-14days. I had gonasi for my last cycle but with same doses (& virtually same thing just different brand) and got a bfp so keep the faith sweetie x

Pickle , thanks for sharing your experience and the info about how long it will stay in my body. I was wondering about that. So no frers for me in October.

Btw, did you know that this pure hcg that it is in these hormonal injections (Pregnyl, etc.) is extracted from urine of pregnant women?
I had no idea! I wouldn't mind to give some urine with hcg back once I'm pregnant. But who's collecting it?

Haha yes I think me kwick & ever had a weird conversation about nuns wee making the hcg injections before! Pretty grim if you think about it too much but whatever works in this game eh?!

My otd was 18days after the iui because before then you couldn't guarantee which was pregnyl or me but I had a day 8 one as well so if you are having just day 4 then should still be ok for usual tww.

Hi everyone,

Did anyone else see this thread on AIBU? I've only had positive support from family and friends but it just reminded me that not everyone I'm going to meet going forward will agree with my decision.

I think what annoyed me most was some of the comments make it sound like having a child was a flippant decision when I thought and planned for my baby for so long. I know my journey has been easier than others on this thread but I do know we have all thought long and hard about how our children will feel and how we can provide the best childhood / environment for them.

to bring a child up without a dad?
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3034241-to-bring-a-child-up-without-a-dad

Treasure, I quite like to read these sorts of discussions as I fear sometimes I have got so used to the decision to use a SD that I'm missing out on other opinions! I haven't read the whole thread but overall I'm not getting too many bad vibes. People are stating that research shows that children from single parents are less well adjusted or struggle, but most of this is because they have had disruptive family experiences. I don't think a lot will apply if bringing up a child in a stable position from the start. There's quite a few positive stories in there as well.

It will ultimately come down to the individual child - some will feel the lack of a father and I know this is a risk, but others will be fine with it. I will try to do my best to make any child of mine feel adjusted and happy with their origins, but I do keep seeing kids with fathers having great relationships and it is my biggest niggle about whether I am making the right decision to go ahead, so it makes sense that there are some who disagree with it.

Like you though, I've had positive reactions from the people who matter.

Hi Treasure , thanks for the link. I didn't notice it in the AIBU section. I haven't yet read through thoroughly, but so far I haven't read anything that I haven't thought of myself previously. So far only my closest friends (and you, ladies ) know about this decision and their support is overwhelming. However, I never asked their opinion - I just announced that this is the path that I'm going to take. They know very well that this decision wasn't made on a whim. I was a bit doubtful, whether their personal opinions wouldn't cloud their support but overall they all surprised me.
I agree that the most annoying comments are those making our decision seem like it was done out of boredom and without any pondering. For me it seems like it is more acceptable to fall pregnant accidentally after a one night stand than through an IUI with donor sperm. I mean - does a woman have to go through a talk with a psychologist (or a specialist) before she has unprotected sex with almost a stranger?
But even worse are discussions and comments under newspaper articles writing about making the IUI and IVF possible also for single women in the central European countries. People with no personal experience are describing me (and other SMBC) as a doom for our society - as if this path has always been the number one option for us. Well, I don't know about others, but for me it had always been a back-up plan. I don't need to be a wife, but I want to be a mother.

Treasure I have read through the thread and whilst I don't agree with many of them I am not entirely surprised at people's responses. What I felt when reading the thread was that the majority of negative posters were ignorant of the reality of sperm donation and were talking no about their own opinion rather than in fact. I agree with you that people in our situation will likely have thought long and hard about what they are doing and had counselling etc to help them see all angles. For years I held off on going down this route because I also worried that it was selfish but the more research I did and the more I thought about it the more comfortable I became with the idea.

I am thankful that so far I have also only had positive responses but this is one of the reasons that I won't be sharing details outside of my close family and friends. People can have these opinions but I don't intend on letting them affect me or my child.

Your post on this blog very well articulated the "journey" for most SMC, I am sure it will help the OP and hopefully provide a different perspective to some of the negative posters

Very interesting aibu Treasure. Some people were very judgy and there were a lot of people on it that had no idea what they were talking about. Plus there was lots of anecdotal evidence on there which is not helpful when trying to make generalisations!

Not been writing much on here about my treatment over the last couple of weeks as have been having lots of ups and downs with my treatment so thought I would post an update.

Started IVF stims on 31/8. Didn't have a great response despite maximum dosage and my right ovary (that had 6 follicles on baseline scan) didn't respond at all - stupid right ovary! Also got a miserable UTI due to all the scans I was having so ended up feeling a bit miserable. Had my egg collection on Friday. 5 collected (1 immature), 2 fertilised. Embryologist said no point in waiting another day so I had 2 embryos transferred today - both good quality (1x 4 cell and 1x 5 cell). Now just got to keep positive, eat foods good for implantation and keep my feet warm.

BTW has anyone else had their progesterone by injection rather than the pessaries? Decided to have it this way as I don't mind injections and it gives higher blood levels. Finding the injections okay and not painful but later on it really hurts and my legs are killing me. Finding stairs really bad. Think I am going to get my sister to inject it in my arse today rather than do it in my thigh otherwise not sure I will be able to walk tomorrow!

Wonky congrats on entering the TWW! Great that you had 2 good quality in the end. What were your thoughts on 1 embryo vs 2? I want to have the best chance but equally bit scared of a multiples pregnancy

Glad to be going back to work tomorrow so don't need to think too much about the 2WW! Just need to avoid x rays, the MRI scanner and anaesthetic gases without anyone realising that I am avoiding them

If I had made to go blasto stage I would have just gone for 1 as much higher chance of multiples and actually not a higher chance of pregnancy. Even with good quality embryos chances of multiples after a d2/3 transfer are small. Despite knowing this I did have a bit of a panic earlier though after the transfer thinking about the possibility of twins!

Welcome to the tww wonky 😀

Well said paisely! I took such care not to be a teenage mum but I think at 43 I am well past the dangerzone and I need to be a mummy

wonky welcome to the 2ww!!! Best of luck!!
I have had the injections- all self-inflicted. You should be able to inject your bum-bum yourself - it is the upper quadrant. They are right fcukers afterwards - pain and itching!!!

So, trying not to be too down, but AF seems to have arrived - 4 days before my OTD. So I think I'm out.

My DGF thinks we should take a month off, enjoy a long weekend away, and then start the final round of the 3 stimulated IUIs we have paid for in October. I really want to carry straight on, and hate the idea of pretending for a month that everything's normal - but she points out we have a long weekend away, and I'll enjoy it more if I can have a drink and exercise like usual.

What do people think to having a month off treatment?