#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 9

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2908645--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-8
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

stork and kwik I will be doing a fresh DD cycle I think as I'm still a bit more convinced that the fresh cycle has slightly greater odds but I am concerned they ll only get 2 top blasts ( which is all they ll guarantee) and then i d have 1 fresh and 1 fet for the cost of £6k. If I get 4 or 5, I ll either need to freeze a batch of 2 and 2 other single embryos, or 2 batches of 2. First fresh only want 1 on board to begin the process. Once I'm over there and know the result will still be guided by them.

The change of mind on down reg would just be if my cycle is v late which seems unlikely as am due by 11 th Aug. Once AF starts on day 1, the down reg is a 1 off jab lasting for up to 4 weeks. However because by the time am administering it is likely 30/8 and the clinic has reopened by then, they will be starting my donor in 1 st wk of sept, timing should be around 20/9 for transfer. However if am late could cancel the down reg and just start the womb lining for a double FET with embryos as I d be cracking on with treatment just a bit sooner. And as I keep wondering if have done the right thing my mind open to persuasion.

Just been looking at air bnb properties in Greece. There are some funky looking places. I found one called grandmas yard, it's quirky but sadly not available when am likely to be over there. I can't believe it's only 6 w now xxxx

ahhh, its so hard to decide ever!! The stats for frozen v fresh I think are now the same due to vitrification at least thats what Katie said in her email.....

Thanks everyone for good wishes! Was back at the clinic this morning and one follicle has grown to 20mm, so going to trigger tonight and then iui tomorrow afternoon. Fingers crossed!

Stork I think FET is only a slight decreased chance, but then I was reading something y day that said the opposite. I think DD will still be the green light, but I think am still worried that I ll be in that 5pc of having identical twins!!! I ve had my run of terrible trauma, and if I stay in Northampton will have the Consultant (twin specialist, endo specialist, involved in my previous care with Mabel) so can only hope and even pray I will get there & then it will go to plan xxx

Yay london that's brilliant!! Then you'll be joining me in the twot!

Yayyyyyy London that's fab news 🤗

Thanks pickle, thanks Wish! Yes, coming up: my first tww...

Ever Im going with the thought of 2 is better than none! though 1 is preferred!

Really, your reading said it was the opposite?. meaning its a dramatically reduced chance? or meaning it isn't reduced at all?

I forgot you were Northants, Im MK!

Thanks stork I think that is what I would like to do also.

Ever why do you down reg if no egg collection? To synch you with other lady? How long will you need to be in Greece for?

Way to go london!!!!

Kwick ya with Double donor you can be more selective in terms of features.

Stork I just read some article about frozen donor embryo as having slightly better results than fresh, but Serum will say they are broadly similar results. Cant remember where I saw it, and could have been related to PGS testing being required first to avoid certain condition - hence why that would make it better really because better embryos would be wielded out. You really have to be beady eyed with all these articles, am a bit hazy but get alarm bells everytime I read about something seemingly being better than what I have gone for. Its a while since I ve done critical reading workshops at Uni , hehe.
I guess by doing a fresh then a frozen, am giving both a crack!! Either because of first time failure or for sibling.

Kwik DR is to synch with the donor usually, but also its a convenience thing for travel arrangements although still cant book till I know when she is starting the cycle. Also because once I ve injected I have 4 week window within which to get started so allows for some flexibility for the donor too, regardless of when period is. Have been told I will still get my normal Sept period (albeit slightly delayed) if this occurs before I start piddling around with oestrogen for womb lining. As for length of time in Greece, the clinic only actually need you there for the transfer, if you can organise a lining scan in Uk (at around day 10). I think for the first time I will go for 7-9 days, try and chill out in Greece for a bit, when hopefully it will be a little cooler. Hence the googling for air bnb xxx

Stork would your maternity care be, in MK? If we both up with twins on board (aha) my previous Consultant is a twin specialist hehe

ever I guess I could choose MK or Northampton. Im up in the air about which as MK doesn't have an awesome reputation - but it is SOOO close by!

and thanks for the note re articles!

So Im going to do things differently this time. Im not going to be so stressed about acupuncture and taking time off, Im going to just do what feels right. Ive tied myself in knots previously, not this time.
And I don't know how long I will be in Greece for, definitely the day before transfer, and the day after, but after that I think Id just want to be home....

Just booked my aquascan at Concept fertility!! eeeek!

Thinking I'll get bloods and notary sorted when Im over there.

Stork/Ever I was admitted in the labour ward at MK last Thursday (I was there for work) and they were really lovely, so much quieter than London!** Obviously not enough to make an impression of what giving birth there would be but it was a positive experience... my colleagues said the maternity used to have terrible reviews but recently went through a whole revamp and is much better now.
It was nothing by the way, I just got a terrible pain on the left side by the ribs and completed panicked!!!

Yes Pez I d say that MK would be fine. Due to my loss I d go back to Northampton General unless I move, which is looking increasingly unlikely because its just worst time to do so. Just so any pregnancy is monitored closely even if all seems fine, will be anxious, and know I have a team in place. I really get on with the 2 bereavement midwives who will support any pregnancy (one is in the screening team, the other in birthing team) so know I will be well looked after. Everyone will have a different opinion on maternity care. I cant imagine how much staff manpower is required for 5,000 live births per year there. I do view it a bit differently because of losing Mabel and meeting mums who also lost their babies (for reasons varied) that they are not all that great in that care, as well as stories of nightmare labours, but that's across the board really.
Good skills on booking aquascan Stork. Welcome to our select 2 woman band of even needing such a thing, or even having heard of it. Take painkillers/nurofen an hour before as a precaution for cramping. I got through unscathed. The Dr I saw and infact everyone I saw were lovely, but ya don't bother with the blood tests, quicker to get them done in Greece as long as they can give an instant result. So guess you d have to go a day or 2 in advance to ensure this and for notary cert.
I am going to have weekly acupuncture as of next week so will just do 4 sessions and not stress anymore. Diet has gone a bit pear-dropped shaped in last week so gotta get back on that, but hopefully not too much harm done. Penny seems less concerned about BMI anyway!! I think you ll be fine, you seem much more positive than me. I hope we can have our buns in oven by xmas!! xx

Hi gang!

So sorry for being absent for so long, trying to catch up with everyone's news! Lovely to see so many new folks joining us on our journey too - hello all

Pickle this is the best news - so happy for you my lovely!

karen 27 weeks! Sorry to hear you're still struggling with anxiety, sounds like you've got a good plan for your mat leave and yes lots to think about! Look after yourself and your bump x

Angliski so sorry to read that, it does sound like ivf might be a good next step. A counsellor I saw at my old clinic was saying she thinks it's really hard on people having to go through so many IUIs before moving on to ivf as the enotional strain of each one is so hard. Really hope you get a lucky break soon!

turtle oh my goodness I hear you about the waiting/moving goalposts! I have found that part the most challenging bit of all. I was referred to my first clinic in January and thought I'd be starting a cycle in April/May and I'm only just about to start now! For various complex reasons to do with my medical history, that hopefully won't happen to you, but it's felt like at each stage the goalposts have moved again and it is tough. Can honestly say though that my patience, resilience and assertiveness have improved dramatically during this process and I tell myself those are useful parenting skills! You will get there, and we're here for to vent your frustrations anytime!

So my update is that I am 99% certain I am about to start an ivf cycle next week! Drugs in the fridge ready to go. Thanks for all the advice about switching clinic - I'm SO glad I did as it was a real turning point.

Last 48 hours have been awful though as looked like everything was about to fall apart last minute with only days to go - I had a call from my Dad to say he's been diagnosed with a genetic heart condition that I have a 50% chance of having/passing on, and the clinic said I needed to delay until I could get the screening done as there are risks for pregnancy, and were also making noises about genetic counselling - this was all yesterday morning while I was off sick from work. Cried for 2 hours solid and made about 100 phonecalls and somehow managed to get a private cardiologist appointment at 8 am this morning! Who confirmed my heart is healthy - there's still a risk of passing the gene on but I went straight to the clinic after in person and talked to a doctor who is happy for me to go ahead, I'm just waiting for the final approval from the clinic head on Friday, and then have my baseline scan booked/start drugs on Monday!! Talk about last minute. It's been unbelievably stressful but have slept all afternoon and feeling hopeful now :)

Will try and catch up properly with everyone else's news - ever and stork, excited for you both! It's really great that you can share your experiences here, this thread is such an amazing resource with so many different journeys.

wish hope 2ww is going OK! Fingers crossed for you!

London woohoo! Nearly there, hope everything goes to plan for the iui.

pickle is right, there's bloody loads coming up for us all at the moment! Really hoping for lots more positive news

So Katie said that could get the bloods done with them at the same time as embryo transfer, so clearly speedy! Yes, and the notary! Once I know more about what cycle day the transfer would happen then I can book.

I have to be positive, it's the only way I can function. But I've reduced acupuncture to once a month until I have a cycle date fixed. But it can get a bit silly, going three times a week before and after transfer....

MK hospital has improved but still not fabulous, I have an acquaintance who is the sister on the maternity ward (she's on mat leave herself) and my sister in law is a nurse at the hospital, so I could have an inside track!

Ps ever should we get badges or sashes for this new aqua-club we are in? I love a good sash...

stork yes I think we def should. Am such a water baby anyway it's quite fitting.
So am cd1 of cycle ( early cycle but who cares!) am waiting on confirmation of injection now and have to do my weird blood collecting exercise in next day or 2. Yay!!

Thanks everyone for your good luck messages - and hi snork!

The IUI went all fine, everything according to plan. I'm back at home in bed with legs up having a cup of tea. Going to take it all very easy for the next two weeks - and keep everything crossed!

Glad all went well london :) when is your otd? (Official test day)
I retested today with a cheapie, lovely deep line (better than when I was on hcg injections). Finding it hard to hide the bump already, obviously little picklet is only 4mm but permanent bloating now....I kinda love it but not when it's too early for most people to know. Floaty tops for me for the next few weeks :)

Yay london welcome to the tww! I'm so glad you're here with me! Fingers crossed! So glad it went well for you x

pickle that is such a lovely sight! My OTD is the 17th, and while we are on that topic, how early is too early to test? What's everyone else done? Xx

Wish are you having any luteal support throughout tww like pregnyl/gonasi/ovitrelle?
These can all give false positives as is hcg injection which is what is detected by the pregnancy test. So if your on these then worth not testing too early (or test daily and you'll see whether the line stays or go's) I did this for both tries
If your not on these then around day 12 it MAY show a positive but 14 really is the ideal..... I have no control and couldn't wait the whole time....started testing for day 13 but my otd was Day 18
I know I love seeing the two lines, really is the best feeling!!! 🙃

Oh yeah ever the blood thing. Was that an extra test you paid for? And I'm assuming you're gonna post it? Hilarious! How are you going to make sure it doesn't smash?!

Ah, pickle! Loving the lines!