#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 8

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI
We also have a weight loss spin off thread:www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

Ooh stork i flicked through that book in Waterstones, when I was wistfully browning the pregnancy books! Felt like I would be tempting fate to get it now but it's definitely on my list :)

My pal who is also a health visitor recommended 'Bump' by Kate Evans very highly too.

Oh ffs, BROWSING the pregnancy books, people, BROWSING. I would like to clarify without doubt that I was not 'wistfully browning' the pregnancy books!!

Yayyyyyyy-Ooh I like the name change @TreasureInMyTummy -it's perfect 😊

Just did my last Menopur 🤗(well for now- might have to buy some more tomorrow) I won't miss drawing up that liquid,bloody pain in arse trying to suck it all up, not bothered about the injections themselves.

Yeh need to 'prepare' more in the morning but that won't take long, pretty much all i need to do tomorrow apart from that is get dressed and straighten my fringe then I'll be on my way. Totally want to write down what they said straight away this time so don't forget everything they say

Lol snork yes don't get banned from Waterstones for doing rude things 😂

Good idea to write it down pickle, I wish I'd done that with my consultation, it's amazing how hard it is to take it all in and remember!

Pickle Kinda geeky but I've taken to recording appointment Q&As with Dr's on my phone because I can never remember what they say. Journalist friend tipped me off. Its brilliant and I can replay stuff repeatedly because I don't get it lol!

Ooh good idea Phoenix, I always take in my little notebook (& they usually comment on either how organised I am or how pretty my stationary is 😂)
Will let you know how it goes in the morning xx

I had 3 different medical appointments back to back last Tuesday don't think I can remember anything useful from any....certainly not the exercises I'm meant to be doing on my hands 😕

TreasureInMyTummy - what a perfect name

Glad I don't have to eat the pineapple as I'm not a massive fan... And if I do go through phases of eating it, I find it can hurt my tongue?! Is that just me? 😂

Good luck tomorrow Pickle :) and good luck Thursday Treasure!

LRD - that's great that you can start this cycle!! You must be so excited 😌

It's my birthday Friday 🎉

Caution glad to hear you're in one piece! Have you had the check up? Maybe get the house move out of the way and sail into it without too many other stresses!

Bear good luck with the scan, I snuck out as though in meetings too.

Paisley, good luck with the dreaded wait! I hope you have some distractions planned other than force feeding yourself pineapple!

Kwick, so glad IVI went to well. My advice re DCN is to join. There's not that much on the left ensure for non members but a pleasant surprise has been the number of emails I get from them - they do round ups of relevant articles. And the North London picnic is on the horizon! Re BMI I'll get back on the weight loss thread!

LRD congrats on the book news! How exciting! Hope all is clear tomorrow and you can start on Thursday.

Snork, get it in the countdown app! And BEHAVE yourself in Waterstones!

Pickle hope the scan goes well. I kind of approached like each time I was going along to find out what I as happening rather than with any pre-conceived idea of what my follicles would be doing because they just never really know how you'll respond but they WILL get there in their own time.

Munro oooh, can't be a bad thing! Fingers crossed!!

Always video physio exercises and injection tutorials!

In terms of my own countdown I'm undecided. I was hoping/thinking autumn 2018, when I'll be 38 but the embryos will still be 36. Which means if I had a second I'd prob be 40 for the second attempt. BUT it would make a MASSIVE difference financially if I waited one extra year, which would make me 39 and potentially 41.

The finances are especially important to me because I really really don't want to go back to my current job post baby unless I manage to negotiate a completely different deal which is highly highly unlikely - I'm almost certain than in our office of approx 1000 people no one around my grade has come back on anything less than a 4 day week and even that is rare - I can think of one example and her career is fucked. I don't care about my career because I want to retrain anyway which is the other reason the money matters so much - I basically need to (ideally) have saved enough to support myself (and my London mortgage) whilst I have a second baby and then through four years of training and then a few years of probably earning fuck all whilst I get set up. I don't want to move and almost all training opportunities and far more job opportunities are here although that's my fall back plan if I can't feed the kids.

So, anyone got any stats on FET success in 40ish women when the embryo itself is 36 (specific I know!). There are 11 embryos so I've got a bit leeway.

Other worry is parents not getting any younger and I don't want them or the kids to miss out on a relationship.

I realise I sound like an over thinking maniac and I'm sure some of the responses will be to just get on with it because "you'll manage somehow". It's just the numbers don't really add up... so if the extra year wasn't a huge blocker it would make sense. Apart from the fact I might go mad in the meantime.

Argh.

Yeh witch I have no idea what follicles should be doing at the mo so have no preconceived ideas about they should be at 'x' mm because I've never done this before but I just want to know they are behaving

With regards to your own dilemma it's really hard, you could approach it in smaller chunks so like set you countdown for 6months slots or something and re-evaluate what's important at that time to you. Is it the right time now, have your ideas changed about times.... or go the opposite and set yourself your max 2yr goal and try and put out your head for a while. I found the first 12months not so bad as I knew I couldn't do anything,apart from checking in on here didn't really do much. Then as soon as had AMH done I wanted it done asap and the last 6months was more frustrating. I had planned to save loads-as it is ive prob saved about £6.5k rather than the £20k I had planned cos life gets in the way and you have a 6.5k garden done and your loft boarded etc etc, so now I've spent about £5/5.5k on DS & my first cycle and only have £1.1k left (still saving each month) but it's not ideal but can't wait longer for a perfect time that maybe doesn't exist. But maybe if May 2017 hadn't been my goal time I would have been able to delay longer
You have 11 eggs which is absolutely amazing, but I wouldn't want to leave it too long to FET in case the chances were lowered to conceive especially as you would like 2. But that's me, I don't think there ever is a right time to do these things but I'd always want to do when I was young as possible.
Make a list- for and against, long and short term goals. Ultimately when you make a decision on a date you will probably feel more at ease but these dates aren't set in stone. If in 6months or whatever it's driving you potty the rethink
Sorry long waffling post- I'm up for my normal insomniac 1-2hour awakeness slot. Actually haven't been (consciously) worrying or dreaming about the scan,which is good. That is a really good sign for me, when I'm all relaxed and not (too) anxious I know I'm down the right path. Prob feel different in 4hours when I'm nervously driving down the motorway awaiting my fate....(hoping for some more sleep though)

P.s
(We are all over thinking maniacs, I think that is part of the criteria and certainly how this journey will make you-even if you weren't before)

Eek I'm just leaving, stomach feels like a washing machine. Im really hoping I see the same lady as last Tuesday. Will fill you in in a couple of hours

Good luck pickle! Thinking of you.

Thanks witch I agonised for a while over whether this was the right time or whether to wait another year and save more money etc. I finally decided that there will probably never be a time where everything is perfect and since then I have just dived straight in. I am sure whatever timeline you choose will work itself out.

Good luck this morning pickle, I had to drag myself away from google last night trying to figure out what the perfect scan would look like lol.

Good luck Pickle! Can't wait to hear how it goes!

Witch with regards to your dilemma... I don't have any real advice but I do have a story about me having DD. When exH and I got together we wanted to give ourselves enough time for everything. We moved countries to be closer to my family & be in a nicer area with good schools. I had some great job interest before we went. We bought our "forever home" a massive 3 floor 3 bedroom detached house we could have only dreamt of owning in the uk. We fixed the place up. Then we were like "let's get pregnant - we're ready!" Except it took 13 months. But even then we were ecstatic. And then 3 months into my pregnancy DH was made redundant. The market crashed. Those job leads dried up because of the market crash. Overnight we lost most of the value in our house. Then, the week I was due, my parents moved 450km away. But when DD was born it was fine. We found a way through all of it, and she was and is the best thing that happened to me. I just wish we hadn't waited for the "right" time.

The point is, you can wait till things are "perfect" but there is no guarantee that they actually are or will stay like that. As Pickle said she didn't get to save as much as she thought she would.

My general advice for people who are looking at getting pregnant is start 6 months before you're comfortable with it. This is because by the time you decide you're ready you generally want a baby asap and as I think all of our stories on here show things often take a lot longer than we expect. You will always find a way through whatever is thrown at you, especially with kids, because you do what you have to do. My experience says the younger you are the better - from chances of pnd, to your body bouncing back, to your ability to deal with sleeplessness. I had DD at 34 (I'll have #2 at 42 hopefully!!!) but if I had to do it all over again I would have thrown caution to the wind at least 2 years earlier!

Not sure if that's waffle or helpful! Oh and also to say I went back to uni a few years ago & did an undergraduate diploma & I'm currently retraining for additional skills so I can change my work life so it's def possible post kids too!

What time is your scan today bear? I've arrived nice and early, gates not even open so I've parked round corner temporarily

Yeh I also remember I had about £1.6k on my leg ops, but house is all finished, surgeries all done, work as stable as ever going to be. We will all make do :) and as someone said once before if 16year olds can do it so can we.

My appointment is 8:15, i'm here early too because relying on train and didn't want to risk the later one. Half hour walk to the clinic cleared my head . Look forward to hearing how you get on, I am not sure when i'll find out because I get my scans at satellite clinic so will need to wait until my clinic phones later once they have reviewed the results

Fek that hurt more than last time! I didn't like nurse as much as my other one,def wasn't as gentle 😭 1 follicle on each ovary at 14mm so got to have another dose of Menopur tomorrow and then rescan on Friday and iui should be Monday as originally planned, the other follicles are much smaller so shouldn't need to have any sucked out which is good so pretty perfect response apparently. According to this lady I have a little parrot cyst, which is like a internal spot that should pop by itself at some point,but nothing to worry about.

Good luck bear who ever does the scan should tell you the result and show you so hopefully you won't have to wait xx

Good luck those having scans today!

So I have 3 largeish follicles (2 on left and 1 on right) 10, 12 and 13. Nurse said that she expects they will want me back on Friday for another scan but that the clinic will phone me later to confirm as that is a medical decision. I had a lot of small follicles 2-5mm and 6-9mm she did seem too concerned about that so hopefully all good. I will ask when they phone when they expect iui to be

Thats good news pickle sounds like you have responded perfectly to the drugs.

Oh Pickle that sounds good, apart from the pain! So close! I had one person who really yanked the dildo scanning thing around. I only had her once but I still wish I had told her that no one else does it like that and that it hurt

Thanks pickle, Phoenix and bear for your thoughts, they all help. I will do some more mulling. I do wonder about the job thing often Phoenix, nothing is ever certain there. But what on earth were your parents doing moving so far away after you moved to be near them?!