#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 8

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI
We also have a weight loss spin off thread:www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

Oops just realised I made a typo in the last post meant to say phoenix

No worries bear 🐻 Phoenix&pickle are both on our ways so works for both :)

@Snorkmaiden85 did u ring the consultant about saying yes to laparoscopy?

ever so I'm sorry you're going through such crap! Argh! You'll be ahead of my cycle, as my af shouldn't kick in till 19th June.

How's everyone else doing?!

@ever that sounds awful. So sorry you've had a hard time. Hope your clinic sort themselves out!
My iui was Tuesday and I'm still feeling really positive about this one. Fingers crossed!
We've got a house full thus weekend so that'll help with the TWW and I'm away wild camping and hiking next weekend so I'm doubly hoping AF doesn't come as wild camping with a period is no fun!

First time I've been on here, not sure where to start really....I have just turned 46, have been trying to conceive for the last 5/6 years, had 3 unsuccessful rounds of IVF and have recently separated from my partner (partly due to my strong feelings about wanting to be a parent that my partner didn't feel, as he already has a son). I now find myself going down the donor route alone, as I don't see why I should give up now after everything I've been through. My main concern was wether to keep things anonymous (i.e. abroad) or a clinic here in London. I have decided that the child (if indeed there is one) should have the rights to find their genetic parents if they want to in the future. Now I just don't know where to go. I have had an appointment at The Bridge Center, but I didn't feel a lot of love there...the London Women's Clinic sounds good - but I am going purely on internet research and not recommendations. If there is anyone out there who has any experiences to share I would greatly appreciate your opinions...really feeling I need to reach out to humans who have actually been through it all rather than hanging on to every word the (money making) doctors give you!

Munro doubly hoping for positive this month- wild camping and af def sounds like a no no! Tuesday seems a lifetime ago though doesn't it?!

Welcome Amanda, good for you ditching the man and going for what you want :) men can always come along later. I went to a seminar at LWC about single women and babies, I did like it -usually if you attend one of the seminars you get discount for 1st appointment with consultant and scan and some tests (can't remember which). I had a good feeling about them and possibly would have gone with them if was closer to London . I think someone on here is or has used LWC so should be of more help. I chose to go with care in Tunbridge wells because about 2 years ago they were an independent clinic and still has that very personal experience rather than feeling like your just a number.
You've found a good supportive chat here though (& often someone awake in the middle of the night to respond to 🙄) we will help you through
Good luck with your journey and fingers crossed for a bubs :)

munro your trip sounds wonderful lovely. Nothing like being in nature and helpful for the dreaded 2ww. I hope you are not dealing with af.

amanda welcome to the thread. I am gathering your looking to achieve a pregnancy from a double donor? Apologies if that's not the case and is insensitive. Where did you have your last rounds of ivf? It seems that you def want to opt for treatment in this country. I know of a lady who had egg donor treatment. She was at lwc and was very impressed with them. Likewise a friend of a friend had a baby at the Cardiff branch of the lwc and her treatment worked first time. The only negative I remember friend reporting was a 6 month ish delay on finding a suitable egg donor. I don't know of anyone who s used any other clinic for this purpose only aware of countless stories of egg donation cycles or adopting baby embryos abroad. I would definitely say lwc is a good starting point based on what I know

Am considering donor eggs if my next ivf cycle is unsuccessful but I think I'd opt for serum in Greece or ib in Spain but the issue I have is i am fixed to wanting same sperm donor because I lost my neo natal baby and would struggle to find a clinic here that would both accept a cryos donor ( many clinics don't) as well as a clinic that does egg donor treatment.
Well done for making the decision to go it alone. Some things are too important

Thanks for all the supportive messages everyone else who have responded to my situation at my clinic. Ordering Mabel's donor today and hope everything from now on will be smooth sailing

amanda also know that care fertility centres do have extensive donor egg programmmes and think this isn't much of a wait to find a donor but believe they are quite a bit more expensive. Not sure if there is a London branch.

pickle I did call the consultant about the laparoscopy, yes! And I also rang the hospital where it would be done to ask some questions about it, and when it could be done, I can potentially have the pre-op consultation on 24th May so that's good.

But since speaking to the consultant I've been feeling a bit confused again as he kept emphasising that it's only needed because I want to do IUI, so now I'm wondering if it might not be better/more cost effective to go straight to IVF? But I was always hoping to do IUI first, it seems silly to skip to IVF if I don't need to. I felt like I didn't really get a full picture of my fertility etc from the consultant (haven't had my amh result back yet) so I'm a bit confused - if it looks like IUI might be a bit iffy anyway then it might be worth going straight to IVF, but if he thinks otherwise everything looks good for iui then I guess I'll have the laparoscopy.

I think it's just the cost - turns out it's nearer £3000 (eeeeek) so I feel a bit like if I have a couple of unsuccessful IUIs, for that money is might as well have just done ivf! And not gone through a general anaesthetic and procedure with all the risks of complications that entails.

I've asked the consultant to call me back today to talk it through a bit more, and find out when my AMH will be back so we can review it then. So confusing!!

Hope you have a lovely time at the theatre tonight pickle and they find you a nice swanky room to do your jabbing :)

Welcome Amanda! And hello everyone else! Will catch up properly later as can't be late for work AGAIN, but wanted to say hello :)

Fingers crossed, munro ! Will you be testing only on the OTD or will you try few days before? I'll try to wait, but I'm not sure I'll manage to be that patient. I have no distractions planned, so we'll see whether I hold or fold like a renaissance triptych.

Currently on CD12, waiting for nice and strong double lines on OPK, it could be happening on Sunday. Has anyone noticed that waiting is the worst? (Just kidding)

I can't believe that littleshoes will be here today! Thinking of you, Shoes .

@INeedNewShoes best of luck today. Will be thinking of you 😊 can't believe the day has finally arrived xx

@Snorkmaiden85 what a complete ball ache, I think I'd be inclined to have ivf if there wasn't going to be the same problem as iui then can just get on with it. If your already going to be £3k down that's pretty much half the ivf paid for. But agree will be good to speak to consultant again....just be cautious that sometimes if you ask for consultant to call you back they may charge you for a telephone consultation . Nurses will usually give you the AMH results-did they say when the results would be in? I had to wait 5 long agonising days to find out.
Trying to think of who you could discuss this with that would know enough without having to wait for ages to find out or having to pay extortionate amounts ..... hmmm! What a ball ache this journey can be

Oh shoes I had missed somehow that today is the day! How wonderful! Will very thinking of you and little shoes :) xxx

Thanks pickle, ball ache indeed! Or ovary ache :-/ Been chatting it through with ever which has been helpful and also my sister in law, going to have a loooooong think this weekend and look over costs etc. I can't tell if my wanting to do IUI is just because that's what I'd pictured myself doing and therefore have become sort of attached to the idea, but for no real reason! Like maybe I just need to readjust my brain. I'm very bad for planning about a million steps ahead (control freak!!) which makes it harder for myself when there are curveballs! Need to remind myself to take one step at a time and be open to change....

@Snorkmaiden85 I'm obviously very biased having had success on my first ivf after 3 failed IUIs but in your situation I would seriously be considering moving straight to a mild ivf cycle. If your AMH is good it's very likely they can fertilise enough eggs to take them to blastocyst and success rates are very high after that. Have they told you how long you would have to wait after you've had the laparoscopy? I think they normally recommend 3 months so that would push your first try back to after summer.

@INeedNewShoes best of luck for today!! Can't wait to see a picture of your little one

Welcome Amanda!!!

To add to the question of cost... I think my ivf cycle came up to about £6k with freezing and storage included. Each IUI was about £1.8k of which £600 was for donor sperm

Good luck today @INeedNewShoes hope everything goes well 

Welcome @AmandaRJ

Eep pickle just rang clinic about the AMH and she had my result but said she's not allowed to give it over the phone!! So doctor will call back later today with it. Glad it's today as will hopefully help with decision making....

Thanks pez, that's really helpful. Good point about waiting after the laparoscopy, I will ask that later as to be honest that could swing me, I'm so desperate to start.

Ooohhh bet your phone will be glued to you today! Let us know what AMH value you get (always like to see what those my age have)
Snork. I swear we are the same person, I get entirely how you feel about things changing that you hadn't planned for but maybe it's your body pushing you into the right direction
I find in these situations a nice Pros and cons list is required-usually settles my brain down and see what the best way forward is and you'll know what feels right xx

Good luck today Shoes Can't wait to hear all about LittleShoes!

Welcome Amanda!

Keep us posted Snork!

Nothing going on with me but waiting... Totally hear you Paisley but am more dreading the tww! Although slightly envious about those of you who have to do injections etc leading up - feel like I'm doing nothing but wishing the time away!

Omg guys, now I have an issue with cryos shipping my donor for the Monday required by clinic
Totally give up maybe I should just wait to next cycle. One thing after another this week after the initial long wait for go ahead with consultant. Feeling really broken

snork am glad pez and pickle have backed up my train of thought for you. Although please be aware that bcrm, and both satellite clinics as far as am aware do not routinely offer mild ivf or short flare protocols. Their albeit seemingly one size fits all of long protocol method they usually try first line. Please don't quote me and check if they can offer it but they may suggest lining issues as a reason not to try, they have good success rates for long protocol and I have asked the same question of them but my feeling is because I tried that method and it worked then am loathed to change but they did say they would consider another treatment protocol if I chose to try for a 3 rd time. It's another question for your dr rather than open up a can of worms

Nothing is plain sailing... the doctor just called and my TSH has increased to 6,5!!
She told me to increase my levothyroxine to 100mg but obviously I am now very worried this will impact the development of the fœtus

pez believe me you will need that increase in thyroxine when in early pregnancy. I do have a thyroid condition and was whacked up 50 mcg at yr stage. Have you read something relating to foetal development with higher thyroxine dosage or tsh levels. Nothing is ever straightforward in this is it?
I feel like I need to proceed to a spa bath immediately ( lucky am not on the cyclogest hehe)