#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 8

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI
We also have a weight loss spin off thread:www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

What beautiful post iui walk venue you had :)

Beautiful pic munro

Things are moving slightly faster than I thought for me AF arrived (I expected it to be Thursday) so now baseline scan tomorrow. pickle looks like our dates will be pretty similar if things go well at my scan tomorrow. How long did your appointment take?

Eeeeeep bear exciting :)
Appointment was half hour but we went through medication more so that took a little while and she had to deal with me crying where I was so scared...scan itself was about 5 or so minutes
My belly was making funny shapes on the scan so she had to press my tummy to move the rumblings-it was where I was so nervous. There was all shiny sparkly lights on the scan. It was pretty amazing and that's without a baby in there

Yay, Pez , congratulations! I teared up while reading your post about the scan. It must have been the most beautiful sight and sound in the whole world.

@pez did u take a friend with you in the end?

Oh, munro, what a beautiful place!

My risk for multiple births is because my AMH is 48. That sounds like a good thing and I do know I'm lucky - but in a way it isn't as it's right at the top of the scale, which can be linked to PCOS, and will mean there are loads of follicles. So they might well cancel the IUI as they can't do it if there's a risk of multiple pregnancy. Annoyingly this clinic always does medicated IUI and don't have an option for not, but we've been with them before so we're a bit stuck (plus I've no idea if that really makes a difference or not).

It was unbelievable (well, still is), I wish I had looked better at the screen instead of crying!

My friend's car broke down this morning so she couldn't make it but I was fine on my own. One of the nurses was by my side; I know all of them now so she was genuinely happy for me.

I really hope we get more heartbeats over the next weeks. There are so many of you cycling together this month!!

LRD, could you look at doing a mild ivf cycle instead? I don't understand why a clinic wouldn't offer unmedicated IUI and you might well overstimulate very quickly. By the time you add up the cost of a couple of medicated IUIs you're not that far from one mild IVF cycle (especially as you will probably need very little meds) and it means only 1 vial of swimmers is needed.
Sorry, I'm not trying to confuse you more!

We've paid to reserve the sperm already, because we had the option with DP. So it's there, if you like. I think I am also a bit nervous of IVF. So many amazing women on this thread have gone through it and I have huge respect for them, but I can see it can be so gruelling. My friend miscarried an IVF pregnancy last year (she and my DP were being treated at the same time), and I felt the whole process was so hard on her even before that. So I guess I am scared a bit. If it comes to it, it comes to it, but I want to give IUI a go first, I think.

And you're not confusing, you're being really helpful.

I think if we did IVF we'd try to donate eggs, so that article linked to above annoys me too - I feel strongly I would want to do that. It's not that I am exploited in my dire poverty.

We did have big discussion on whether IUI or IVF was harder and I think the general conclusion was IVF was really not that bad. I've only done up to egg collection but it was so much less gruelling than I expected. The drugs were fine. I didn't go crazy (my AMH is high too, you won't need high does). Bit bloated by the end but nothing ridiculous. Egg collection was fine - I worked or went out later both times - wouldn't have done so in an ideal world but it was manageable, just cramping like persistent period pain. Bit sore for a day or two afterwards but not badly - I cycled to work the next day for instance and I needed to stand up over the bumps but was otherwise fine. I had to sit down carefully at work too. But honestly, I've felt worse and more incapacitated from a bad cold.

I think the horror stories you hear about IVF are more often women who are having round after round because of fertility problems and who have much longer protocols of medication. I realise you've seen it first hand though - what did your friend find hard?

Obviously if you are more comfortable with IUI then give it a go, but I wouldn't discount IVF because you think it will be awful -
that really hasn't been the general experience of this group.

In your medicated IUI do they insist on stimulating you or can they just do a trigger? Can you use the sperm elsewhere if you chose to? I think I'd be a bit dubious about a clinic that insisted on a protocol that doesn't make sense for the patient, but I get that having had a good outcome you would want to continue with them.

Just checked - my AMH was 50 - I was 35, a few weeks away from 36. So too old to egg share.

witch, that's so hugely reassuring. Thank you very much for taking the time to share all of that. And I take your point that there's a huge range of different IVF experiences out there.

My friend - well, I think it just wasn't working for her, but she had a really rough time in terms of feeling awful and very emotional. I hated seeing her find it so hard, so I suppose I assumed it was just like that for everyone. But encouraging to think it's not so.

We originally chose the clinic because it has such good success rates. And they were lovely with DP, though dead scatty at times. They will do a very low dose of stimulation, they say. But I don't think I could get the sperm elsewhere, because we already reserved it there.

They were quite keen to talk to me about egg sharing. I'm 32. I assume that must be young enough or they wouldn't have mentioned it!

I bet they were - you'd expect a good clutch with that AMH! Have you had a scan and antral follicle count yet?

The cut off age (set by HFEA) is 35, so you have plenty of time in that respect.

Hooray Pez! So wonderful! Munro I'm crossing everything for you! LRD not knowing is the worst for me - sorry if I missed it why are the multiples chances so high?

Well looks like af is arriving tonight so tomorrow will officially be cd1 and 10 days till I fly and most likely 10/11 days until IUI. Can't believe it!

witch - no, I've not had those. Really early in the process, so I think they'll do those next cycle if I'm really quick getting everything else lined up - so maybe June.

phoenix - ooh! That's soon - good luck! The multiples thing is because I have a high AMH level, which might be PCOS. Basically you can go in for IUI and they won't do the insemination because they'll see loads of immature follicles all jostling, rather than one nice big one.

Good luck with your 1st appointment ever 😁😁😁 snork!! Can't wait to hear all about it
Hope it goes well today ever and you get the appointments booked that you need

Phoenix all I going to do is say eeeeeekkkkkkkkkk!! Cycle buds 🤗

Hi ladies - I was posting on the app last night and I didn't see a lot of these posts - sorry!

LRD - I think Witch's points were great I know several women who have had IVF and most of them it was easy. The ones it was harder for had been trying for a long time so it was often emotional because it was a last chance. The others just sailed through so hang in there.

Good luck today Snork!

Also I've updated the spreadsheet - I realised I had the settings at view only rather than edit so now you should all be able to update your details and add yourself if you're not on there!

LRD do you clinic not offer aspiration if too many prominent follicles?
I got told at my one that they rarely cancel a cycle but whilst doing iui they would suck out some of the extras to reduce risk of multiples. May be worth enquiring :)

Good luck today Snork!

Aspiration is basically what they do for egg collection - personally I'd rather be knocked out for it!!

That is such good news pez!!!! 

Great progress pickle!! Another countdown!

Best of luck with scan bear!

@LRDtheFeministDragon what @witchmountain said about IVF

Exciting times @PhoenixMama !!!

Best of luck @Snorkmaiden85 !!!

Did anyone feel a bit funny on the injections? My tummy feels weird, I don't feel like I'm going have a upset tummy but it's a weird uncomfortable sicky/sore feeling. There have been so many bugs around I'm just a bit paranoid. Got a bloomin headache as well. Just want to go home!

@Pickle162 That sucks! Could it be bruising?

Don't feel bruised but just feels internal weirdness like I've got a bug but without the poo or sick. I feel a little better having eaten something. Think it is side effect to feel stomach dragging. Will totally put up with it, I'm not great with meds generally and I think one of them said something about lactose so will just see. Only 10days not end of world, all worth it for my little pickled sprout

@pickle what meds are you on?

Suprecur I had last night, tonight is suprecur and Menopur