#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 7

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6

Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Yes late best of luck tomorrow!!

Thank you Pez & Pickle, I think I'm definitely going to be charting my temp from now until August. Just need to google more about it so I really know what I'm doing (doesn't take much to confuse me ) and I'll be well away!
I think it'll take a lot of stress off - if I'm just relying on OPK's i think I'll lose my patience quickly 😂 - and with temping, you can't seem to go wrong!
Sounds really silly, so I do apologise, but do you need any special sort of thermometer to do it? Or will any do? Is one better than the other?

Best of luck tomorrow Late... Everything will go swimmingly!

Welcome hvik. I'm still in the same position as you (haven't having started) although I know what clinic I'm using, etc etc. Have you any ideas on when you want to start? Have you had any tests/consultations yet?

Stork - I'm going to use CRGW .
You were actually the one that mentioned it to me, many months ago, and on your suggestion I researched and compared them to other local clinics and decided they were better for many reasons. I've been to CARE N'pton (which what would be my local clinic, it's so strange!) and I didn't get a feel for them. I saw the counsellor at CARE N'pton, and although she was nice enough, I just couldn't imagine myself having my treatment done there for some reason.
How're you feeling now lovely?

Ever and the other weight loss crew, here you go: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

Pez the embryologist call takes no time at all, so you could drop off and rejoin quite quickly, or let people know you need to take a very, very quick call. Or you can be patient

caution yes I remember us having that convo. Care are lovely, really and it's super easy for me to get to when ch for every other day scans is kind of crucial.... however, 2 unsuccessful attempts and part of me is thinking change clinics and CRGW bend over backwards for their patients it seems.

I'm ok, a bit sad, and because AF (tmi warning!) is not 'gushing' red I still have to use the pessaries and test again tomorrow. It's all a bit grim. Obviously it would be amazeballs if somehow it turned to be at 16dp3dt, and with red discharge, but let's get realistic... I've spent the evening on Instagram gazing at singletons and twins, hence a bit low and feeling a tad sorry for myself.

Thanks again all for the support. Xoxo

Sorry it's dragging it out Stork, that's the last thing you need

I would tell you to get off Instagram, but maybe you need a bit of time to be sad xxx

Ah stork I'm sorry sweetie, it really does feking suck 💐xx

Caution basics of temping-get a basal temperature thermometer (needs to measure to 2 decimal points) test at same time everyday as soon as u wake and even sit up or have a drink and should have been asleep for around 3hrs+ before u measure -so if ur a bit of an insomniac like me it can make it a little tricky
u can measure orally,rectal or up your hooha- I most definitely chose oral!!! But u need to stick with which ever site u choose
Either plot on a paper chart (can download blank ones online) or download an app that will plot for u-I used Ovia app.
That is it in a nutshell, you won't always see a pattern straight away and sometimes need a few cycles to see when ur ovulating but as we aren't relying on having sex and identify fertile 7 day window in the same way as we would if trying naturally it doesn't really matter.

Welcome hvikactually can't see the rum lol.

Re: donor I started off quite picky too, when you are investing so much time, effort, emotion into the process you want to make sure its right. I would advise picking only 1 or 2 key things that are really important to you to help with your selection.

Caution, I bought my bbt thermometer from Amazon (babymad) and the battery lasted for 7 cycles (and at some time i was temping several times in the evening during TWW!). It only cost me about £10 and came with 30opk free strips. I have now bought a new battery but haven't replaced it yet as no longer temping (no point with the meds)
I use the Kindara app and really like it

Ditto to pez I had the babymad one too- off eBay :)

Hi lovelies! My goodness you move fast! I've had a rough few days with work. Can't wait to get to mat leave lol.

I saw you doing intros so I'm 41 (42 in 3 weeks) have one natural DD who is 7. I'm in West London (but I'm actually Canadian! Waves to fellow Canucks!) I'm looking to start IUI at StorkKlinic in May.

I'm off to try & catch up!

PS - Totally up for a meet up!

Hi all, been away for a few days and it's all change.
I've tied to catch up as much as I can.
Pez I read your experience and I was so horrified that had happened to you but glad the clinic have acknowledged it and done the icsi for free. Keeping everything crossed for you.

I have my appointment tomorrow at the lwc. From your experiences is there any questions I should be asking if they say to go to ivf?

So I'll reintroduce myself,

I'm 35, single, from south London. I'm currently using the london women's clinic and donor Sperm from the London Sperm bank.
I've had 5 iui's all natural. Iui #3 was a bfp but sadly died at 29+6 weeks pregnant. Had chromosome defects and had downs.
X

Morning lovelies
Have heard from the clinic and out of the 13, 11 were mature and 9 fertilised 😊. Fingers crossed I don't lose too many over the next few days...

Calz, were your last 2 IUIS back to back you said? I.e have you tried 4 or 5 cycles in total? IVF success rate decreases with age at which point it becomes pretty much the same as IUI so they should be looking into your AMH and pre antral follicle count before advising you to move to IVF. I know that personally after 3 failed IUI I was getting worried my eggs didn't fertilise at all so IVF would give me the answer but as you've been pregnant before you might feel differently. It's a hard decision but I'm sure the clinic will clarify everything for you.

Ah that's fab!! I keep fingers crossed you don't lose too many or any at all. 🤞🏻

Thanks. I have a little understanding of ivf. I know it's going to be costly. If I have to have tests to determine where my fertility stands then it's something I'll have to do and swallow the cost of that too.
It's something that's gone back and forth in my head. The fact I fell before on the 3rd iui is good, I could try a third again and hope 3 is the charm. But I do have a worry that just because I fell pregnant before, doesn't mean it will happen again and that could have been my lucky one and not happen again and I actually can't fall as easy as I hoped i would. I had this silly idea that trying again within 6 months I'd be lucky enough but it hasn't happened. (Have I said this before? Apologies if I have) xx

Yay pez that sounds like good numbers fingers crossed for food development over the next few days

Yay pez fab news

My clinic has said for me with medication it's about a 28% success rate so after 3 they would want to re-evaluated but after each cycle they discuss at a meeting possible causes for failed tries so don't wait 3 to find out something simple can be sorted

Calz, at my clinic, the cost of 1 IVF cycle equals 3 IUIs so I borrowed a bit of cash from my gran and went all in. I just hope this pays off. It depends on the person too, I know that personally, worrying for another 3 months about IUI not working would create too much anxiety and updating friends and relatives about it every month is hard. Obviously the worry of investing so much money on one cycle is massive too... but I'm really hoping I have a couple to freeze so I can do FET if this cycle doesn't work.
This is the eternal debate... if only we had the answer ☺️

If you want to hear something funny, the clinic just emailed me an invoice for ICSI 😖
They really need to get their sh*t together!!!

All done! It was a bit of a rollercoaster - the Dr turned out to be the one who struggled with my IUI last summer (the one that couldn't be completed and involved clips). He then said that two were blastocysts but one was not as good as the other and probably not suitable for freezing. He recommended having both transferred as it gave the other a better chance.

I really didn't know what to do because I'd read research to the contrary. If it had been the Dr I've seen most I'd have trusted her a bit more, but in the end I decided to go with their recommendation and had both transferred. Looks like I won't get any frozen, which is disappointing after getting 19 eggs originally. I just need to believe I did the right thing by having two transferred rather than waiting to see if the second could be frozen.

Also frustrating because the clinic was running late so I have to hang around for three hours until my friend can come back! However, I have books with me. Enforced reading time!

Hope everyone is well this lunchtime?

Ok late you've done the right thing. I understand disappointment at the numbers, both my cycles ended with zero in the freezer. I don't regret have no had two put in this time, wish I had put two back in the first time!

Calz I guess apart from getting them to explain the process you could ask if they think it would be worth screening any embryo before it went back in and what he risks and considerations of that would be. I think they tell without asking as they did me, but what kind of IVF protocol they would put you on, i.e. drug doses and for how long. They should explain success rates too.

Pez good news on eggs! Am questioning whether I ever knew the mature number now! Not that it matters at this stage. The ICSI invoice would almost be funny if processes were not so important in this context!

Late Sorry you had the crap doctor, that would have thrown me too. I would think about it in terms of them having given you the advice with the specifics of your two embryos in mind, which can't be directly compared to general studies or research. As Karen's experience shows you could quite easily start an on-IVF pregnancy with two embryos and nature mostly finds a way to sort it out, one way or another. I'm rooting for both of them, really hope you have good news over the next couple of weeks xxx

(Surely you can't be reading at this time of day with your username!)

Thanks again Pickle & Pez - you've saved me time in googling although I probably still will and thanks for the recommendations re thermometer - I'll definitely be purchasing one of those today. When's the best time to start?
Pez, that's amazing news re your eggs!! From the little IVF knowledge I have, 9 fertilised is a great number, right?!
I can't get over how rude your clinic is being though! 😂 Why even send you an invoice for ICSI... Hope you get it sorted!

Stork, I totally get what you mean about CRGW... To me, they seem like a "proper" clinic, if that makes sense?! It probably doesn't but never mind
A change never hurts anyone, so maybe that is the best way forward. I read on their website that they won't charge you for your initial consult with them either because you've had treatment within six months. Every cloud, I guess, eh?!
Sorry to hear about your AF... I suppose if it's going to be here, you want it to be here properly. Is it down to the pessaries that it's not in full force? Making you test again tomorrow is cruel thinking of you.

Late - that's great news I think you've done the right thing, too, for what it's worth. Sorry about having the crap Dr though... But what you've got to think about now is it's all done and the waiting begins!!

Late, you're officially PUPO! Well done, that must have been difficult when you saw it was that doctor doing transfers today. You've made the right decision, I would have done the same I think. Freezing embryos does seem a luxury.... I guess it's because they only want to freeze the best of the best. I'm constantly revising my expectations when it comes to freezing.

Stork, could they not order you a beta instead? I agree with caution, it is harsh to ask you to keep testing on POAS.

Caution, you can start anytime but it would ideally be best to have at least a few temps prior to your surge so you can establish what is normal for you. Make sure you don't move or drink water before you temp!

Late I had two 2-day embies put on board and I will never know which one took (was also told 1 had developed normally but wasn't as advanced as my 8 cell) but if this scenario happens again for me am pretty sure I would choose the same option because I didn't have any to freeze and they didn't want to risk the 2 I had arresting before they became blastocysts, which of course they must of else I wouldn't have got pregnant. I was always told if so few, better on board than waiting to see how they develop in the petri dish or to freeze. I think you ve made the right choice hun. Everything crossed for you. Sorry for the crap Dr

Pez cant believe they ve sent you an invoice!! It seems no one talks to anyone else there!! Hope your embryos continue to do well.

Calz am just wondering would having the tests just give you more information and put your mind at rest?. Do you know AMH, AFC counts etc. My clinic does not offer the PGS testing and with so few embryos I produced the first time round, I d simply have to take a risk that all would be well. I have been quoted only a 0.8 pc recurrence risk rate for Edwards syndrome but was told a 5 pc risk overall to include the other trisomies and other genetic conditions, with Downs at 3 pc. However I am higher risk because am older than you I think. I ve been told sporadic event, and would have been if Mabel had had Pataus and only slightly higher sporadic event if was Downs. I love the term sporadic event to describe my baby, aaahhhhh. Or have I got confused and that's not what you re asking??

Keep meaning to say that on Woman's Hour this week on radio four they are doing a series of interviews with single parents and on Monday they had a woman who had done it by herself. Nothing groundbreaking in there as the interviewer didn't ask particularly interesting questions but thought you might be interested. She self inseminated with non-clinic sperm.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04xw955

stork I've been there. Knowing it's af but still using the pessaries. It's a different kind of torture. Because then you hear those few stories about how some women actually end up being pregnant even with the bleeding. Can you get a blood test? I feel for you

pez hope your little ones continue to develop. I may have missed this but any thoughts on how many you'll put back in?

late I have my fingers crossed for you. Sucks that it was the dr you don't like but it's all done now. Laugh lots, get fresh air and eat well.