#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 7

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6

Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

It's costing me around £800 for Mot 10!!! But I wanted an extended open profile. Mostly for the baba but was originally quoted Mot 5. What motility did you use Shoes & Karen?

What I meant was on the phone consultation I was told I could use Mot 5 & now told to use Mot 10 which is nearly double the cost. Contemplating just getting Mot 5 anyway. Eeeek. So not sure.

You don't need high motility for IUI in the same way you would for home insemination as the swimmers don't have to find their own way to the cervix and through the cervix! I don't even know what motility some of my donors were but I know one of them was as low as 2 and every IUI of mine led to a BFP so I don't think the sperm were having any trouble finding the egg!

My IUIs including donor sperm cost £680 (that's pre-Brexit, nearer £780 post-Brexit)...

Thanks shoes and karen
I'm just going for my 2nd iui next week and the fear of failure is settling in now.
First iui was negative.
My clinic is nhs. I test on OPKs in the morning and need to call by 12ish to book iui the following day after detecting the LH surge. Do you think this is reasonable? I believe that therefore most of the time the sperm is waiting for egg release. But obviously no luck last month and now I'm panicky for this month.
I also found the iui quiye uncomfortable so would rather not have to do it lots and lots of times although with NHS I can have 8 chances

Thanks Shoes! I was looking at £900 total including ds and treatment before they said 10 mot. I think I'm just going to order 5 mot and say screw it.

Also I meant to say earlier - thank you for all the birthday wishes - totally lovely chilled out day (looking forward to a sleep deprived, spit up covered one next year.

My DD kept telling me to tell her what my wish was (I'm sure you can all guess what it was) I wouldn't tell her (or it wouldn't come true ) but when I asked her what hers was part of it was for a brother or sister - so hoping I can make that wish come true for her!

Phoenix I agree with shoes. Motility isn't the most important thing. I used a different donor for all my bfps and the motility ranged. By the last one I wasn't even paying attention.

Munro I always went in thinking my iui wasn't going to work. Not good pma!!!! Just focus on the fact that you are doing everything you can and then leave it up to the sperm and egg. You've had a hycosy right? I've lost track of who has had what tests.

Yes hycosy came back clear. Had all the thyroid tests too and my cycle is really regular so there are no concerns from the clinic. My only issue is that I'm CMV negative so that reduces my donor options.

Thanks Karen & Shoes I'm just so upset by this today, if they hadn't said Mot 5 in the consultation then I would have budgetted for mot 10 but they didn't and now it's essentially the cost of another month's treatment, plus I've bought my flights (ok only £45) and was planning on cycling next month and now might not be able to.

Which clinic are you using Phoenix?

Munro, I'm cmv- and using a cmv+ donor. The risks of contracting the virus and passing onto the foetus are minimal. I decided that if I lived to 34 years without contracting the virus I'm probably immune to it. My clinic had no issue with this.
I will still be careful not to be around sick children over the next 8 months 😉

Also, we're approaching the 1000 message limit on our thread so we should probably be careful we don't reach 1000 before our thread chief @kwick can post a new link 😊. Although I guess we could easily find it under the donor conception page.

I'm planning on using CFC Shoes and the ds is from Cryos.

@pez we decided to go with only cmv - donors for the first 3 iui and then if no success switch donors. On the NHS you don't choosee your donor but you are matched on ethnicity etc etc so u get a different donor each iui attempt.
The guidance on cmv changed over the time we were waiting. 4 years ago you were advised only to use cmv negative and would have to sign a waiver if otherwise but now they realise the risk is minimal. But I can't help but think back to what we were told years ago.
Also....any excuse to avoid sick kids is good for me 😂
Phoenix. Sucks when they change their advise like that....they should bloody well pay the difference!

So clinic have come back & said they say 10 to be on the safe side - I can do 5!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

Panic over!!!

Hello ladies just catching up.

Happy birthday Phoenix and thanks for the fabulous spreadsheet - my 12 week scan is 11th may so I'll try and add it on after this message. Also can I save the link if using my iPhone does anyone know?

Munro I've had two iuis -1) in Jan 17 got a bfp then chemical pregnancy 2) Feb 17 and I'm just under 10 weeks now. Very nervous and scared still and looking forward to getting to 12 weeks xx ( also very very nauseous and windy lol)

Great news Phoenix that you can use 5 mot xx

Still catching up - pickle thanks for your 1st attempt pulling the information together for spreadsheet xxx

Hi all!

pickle excellent spreadsheet, I shall look and check my deeds!

Also re the injections, right now it seems scary and like you'll need a room. You really won't. Make sure you've got your alcohol wipes and you'll be grand. I shot up in a top shop in NYC after having to leave the underground and run into a store before I missed my injection window. My friend did hers in a taxi in China on the way to the airport! We do what we must.

My Menopur that was opened needed to be refrigerated, so think about how you're gonna deal with that. Maybe use a new bottle?

Love to all!

Oops, won't let me update my line? May6th Protocol planning and blood work appt with CRGW, Wales.

Xx

So behind, have been reading but no time to write anything. Will squeeze in at the end here.

Going back a few days, I agree cost is a massive issue. I guess part of the problem is official supply - I was shocked that LWC only accept 5% of prospective donors. Loads must be screened out for fairly minor reasons. Which is maybe what you expect at 1K a pop. I don't know if I'm suggesting "lower grade" sperm should be available for less money. But at least there should be a more affordable way of getting yourself inside a recognised legal framework of you want to.

I'm not sure I think there's anything wrong with getting sperm off a random website. No better or worse than getting pregnant with an unreliable male partner/acquaintance. It just wasn't for me and it's a shame if people have to make that choice based on cost.

For me real co-parenting (as opposed to just buying sperm) is a totally different thing. I can absolutely see why people do that - I know a single woman who's done it with a gay male friend. I wouldn't want to do it with someone I'd recently met from a website, but again it's not wrong, it's just not for me.

Pickle, agree with stork re jabs, it will be fine, would just say that a surface to balance things on is useful if you are mixing.

Love the spreadsheet.

Ooh good to know,thanks stork :) the Menopur I've got comes in powder form so I have to make with mixing needle and the water so doesn't need to be in the fridge but used immediately. But I will def ask the question on the Tuesday I see the nurses and start the injections. There suprecur one I have to get from one pot and measure out each time.
The injections don't bother me, I'd quickly do that in the loos but it's the mixing and drawing up of medicine that need to be a bit more prepared with
Worse case scenario I'll have to do them at like 11pm each night and stay up later so can do them and then should be back in time to do the one on the Aladdin day.

Glad you've got your appointment booked-so exciting :)

I've just got in from work so need to order a takeaway and eat and have a drink and then I'll catch up with rest of everyone's day x

Christ... injecting in a taxi in china hehe. I had to do one of mine outside in a park because I had an appt in the early eve and didn't think I could hover at the spire hospital with a pile of ppl in the waiting area with one toilet, and also would have had to wait there for 2 hours for timing. If I come across another situation such as this and can't get to my sister in time, might have to smile sweetly at snork. We re having treatment at same clinic see.
The things we need to do to get thru the jabbing process.

I ve not posted that much either, way behind really

I'm just waiting on my AF with the hope I can start ivf2 soon. I am 0.3 above bmi so am hoping for a negotiation of being able to start at beginning of cycle with my insistence that within 3 weeks before starting norethisterone I can lose that 4 lbs and then I have another 3-3.5 before any egg collection. I feel that the barrier is simply not having a date ( however vague) to work towards. Am starting to cramp and think flo is on her way in next few days and that will have put my cycles back in rhythm after 2 months of craziness. I really can't be delayed anymore, it's just heartbreaking.
X