#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 7

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6

Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Lewis I'm sorry they were supportive 😔 I would still be inclined to have a fertility assessment so you can see where you really are in terms of your egg reserves/ovulation and then there aren't quite as many ifs or buts
I know they are your parents but do you want to give up hope of a child because they don't approve?
I wouldn't but I have finally got to the point that I'm not going to stop doing something because someone out their may not approve. I need to make my own happiness in life and being a mummy for me is a huge part of that.

I haven't told my parents (my mum is quite a negative person and will prob tell me I'm being stupid or irresponsible) but have told majority of my friends,everyone bar 2 have been very supportive and I don't think are too surprised that I've chosen to do donor iui as I've never really been one for relationships. Those that have been negative I don't talk about too frequently as I want pma on this journey and I know they will be there for me when (positive thinking) I have a bubs

Seriously do people have a homing device on when do ring you-wait till your asleep and then ring 🙄😴

lewis what pickle and shoes said

^ what those lovely ladies said.

Personally, we chose on the whole not to tell people. I told one close friend (who I knew had been doing IVF for ~10 years) and my sister that we might look in to our options, but no more than that. When we were actually having treatment we also told my other half's best mate as she was/is also going through treatment herself. Obviously our situation was a bit different because we had each other.

thanks everyone - I think I'll keep things to myself for the forseeable on account that my dad clearly doesn't approve and any time I speak about it to my mother, I'm met with "well, you must lose weight first as they won't take you seriously" and variations of that message

it does my head in! it isn't as easy as "lose weight, find a man, then have babies" as my mother wants, any more - especially as I've just spent 14 years on a road to training in my career and have only just succeeded so am not likely to want to give up work forever! (mother was SAHM and so is sister - they think little of working mothers ... sigh)

Not only that, of course, but its not like if I "found" a "bloke" that I'd want to "have his babies" immediately anyway! Geez, I think my whole family live in the 50s

thanks for the support - let's hope you're all still here in 2/3 years when you've all been successful and I'll be starting out!

Just catching up with the thread lewis sorry your damily haven't been supportive. So far I have only told 1 friend (and that is cause she asked). I am hoping my family will be supportive but I didn't want any negative reaction to affect my decision. I feel like it will be a much easier conversation when we are talking about an actual baby instead of hypothetical if that makes sense

Lewis so sorry they've been critical. I think what everyone else has said is true. I've told my closest friends & everyone (bar 1) has been supportive. My mum was more worried about how I would cope but as Shoes said concern is different to disapproval. I think Bear hit the nail on the head - once you're pregnant and it's a baby rather than a hypothetical their attitudes will probably change.

So I'm having very strong mittelschmerz pain on both sides this month. Clearly my body has decided to throw everything it's got at it lol. Just praying it doesn't turn into twins next month.

What pray tell is mittleschmerz phoenix ?

That word means Ovulation pain

Sorry! Yeah it means you feel when you ovulate. I'm a word nerd and it's such a funny word - sorry!

Literally the German for "middle pain", as in pain mid cycle.

Karen keeping everything crossed for your scan today xx

@Pez82 did u manage to change your scan date?

Yes Karen how'd it go?

@pickle162 I suspect you're keeping a countdown on our own milestones on your super app 😊. I changed my scan to 2nd May so in 2 weeks exactly. A TWW of a different kind...

Lol @Pez82 yes 2nd may is my baseline so I will inadvertently bring counting down ur scan too 😁 think @CautionHormone has something on the 2nd too

Sometimes I think life is all about counting

Sure is kwick I think I may go insane before I actually get to my iui 🙄 where ru at with things? Have you decided on what next plan is? Do you have to wait for more AFs?

pickle how do you remember everything??? Lol, thanks for thinking of me.

Scan went well. First appt with obgyn and I really liked him. Saw the baby dancing around. He wanted m back in two weeks. Then I started asking questions, which he answered really well (just about the aspirin and progesterone that I'm on). I think he could sense my panic so he changed his mind and told me to come back next week so I would panic less. That made me happy. I also decided to cancel my ipl test, which is the prenatal screening for trisomies. I don't want the worry. I won't be risking an amino and I won't be aborting so there's no point. It's actually been a weight off my shoulders. Still consider myself in the danger zone and I probably will until I actually have a baby but it helps to have a dr I like and who responds to my obvious stress.

Forgot to ask about my allergies though. Shoot.

Great news Karen How many weeks are you now?

I suspect Pickle of keeping a thread spreadsheet

Yayyyyyy glad it went ok, I nearly forgot to message as thought it was Monday today rather Tuesday. I can't remember how far along you are tho....10/11weeks?? Nice that out get to see bubs again next week.
Do they suggest you stay on the baby aspirin and progesterone?

Haha no I would like to so I could remember where people are up to. Just remember you saying when..... I do tend to remember numbers and dates more than other stuff- e.g. The postcodes and telephone numbers of all 10 of our clinic venues (that I don't even work at now) just useless information to daily living 😂

Great news karen, so glad the little one is already showing their dance moves!
I have started reading about all the testing and it's giving me headaches. I don't know if I could abort either. One of my brothers has a rare non genetic mental disability and I can't imagine him not being with us. It's a hard decision so well done on making it!

Karen that's great news! What a nice Dr you have. Makes such a difference when you feel listened to.

Pickle I stay on them both until next week when I'm 12 weeks. Then he will start weaning me off of them with some sort of schedule and monitoring. Makes me nervous but he knows what he is doing.

So excited for you sweetie :)