Husband has walked out of family home to clear his head for 2 weeks

[ThatGirlx]

I’d really appreciate some opinions and advice on my current situation.
My husband has recently walked out of our family home, saying he’s booked somewhere to stay for two weeks. He told me that he’s no longer in love with me — and hasn’t been for many years — and that he needs space and time on his own to “clear his head” and decide what he really wants.
While I understand the need for space, I feel it’s extreme for him to completely leave the family home and leave me to care for our child alone. In the weeks leading up to this, he spent almost every weekend staying at his friends’ places, and when he did return, he didn’t bring up any of the serious things he had said — like not loving me or feeling that family life isn’t for him.
I’ve been extremely upset, but lately my feelings have shifted more toward frustration and anger. I’ve tried to be compassionate and understanding of how he feels, but he hasn’t shown the same toward me at all. When I’ve opened up about my feelings, he’s ignored them completely — not responding or engaging in any meaningful way.
Our communication has almost stopped. Even on WhatsApp, he rarely replies, or leaves my messages unread for hours or even all day. I’ve suggested that we spend more time together, and even try marriage counselling, because I feel our relationship is worth fighting for — but he’s shown no interest or effort.
He’s also said that being a father feels like “too much” for him, which I find really disappointing. I told him that it’s normal for life to change after having a child, but he keeps insisting that he hasn’t loved me for many years anyway.
It feels cowardly that he’s chosen to walk away and cut off contact rather than face what he’s said or the impact it’s had. To me, it seems like he’s avoiding the consequences of his actions and struggling with his own inner unhappiness. He’s always been quite a self-focused person, and this has made me seriously question whether he’s capable of being the kind of husband or father that my child and I need.
What hurts most is that he hasn’t even really checked in to see how our child is doing. I just feel completely abandoned and unsure how to move forward from here.

This 100%. You need to use the anger and frustration you're experiencing to positive effect.

He probably is having an affair but he's a twat regardless.

I am sorry you have caught such a bad one OP, but best thing you can do is focus on the future - pull all your joint finances, see a solicitor, get a plan in place and once you have one tell him it's over. Make sure you get every penny you can because as fatherhood is 'too much' for him paying for his kid/s will also be 'too much'.

I am sorry again, it's a shit situation but removing the shit in chief will set you on the road to making it better

let him have the 2 weeks and change the locks

100% affair. He will deny, deny, deny, because he knows how bad it sounds to admit to his family, you, his friends that he’s left you and his child for someone else. He is rewriting history, like they all do, and will be selling the story to everyone else to gain sympathy. After what he feels is a decent amount of time he will wheel out the new GF. But the reality being, she isn’t new at all, but has been there all along. He’s checked out OP and you need to be strong and focus on what you and your dc need. Make sure you remove your share of money from joint accounts. Get as much info together as you can on his finances. He’s no longer your friend or protector so you now need to act in the best interests of you and your dc.

Sorry he’s done this to you.
🦆🦆🦆
💪

I agree with this.
Please don't do the pick me dance. He has made his feelings known don't wait for him to decide what will make him happy. You and your child deserve better. Tell him not to bother coming back.

How well do you know his parents ? I would be tempted to ask if they can have the children for a few hours a week whilst he is having his ' special time' , parenting on your own 24/7 is hard work ( not that he would know ) and I am sure they would want to support you both at this difficult time !

Even if he’s not involved with another person, he has checked out of his relationship with you and he won’t check back in. He’s already processed his feelings and yours aren’t relevant to him any more. Perhaps you will come to a workable arrangement for co-parenting and division of assets, perhaps you won’t, but your priority now has to be protecting yourself and your child as you seek legal advice and prepare for divorce. You may hold out, let him do all the proactive stuff, but I believe you’ll look back and regret being passive. I’m sorry OP.

Google The Script, this is a classic example

Get any bank accounts frozen. Take out a lump sum first to give you some leeway while you get separate accounts.

You need to take your power back. Take him at his word - the relationship is over. You now need to protect yourself and your future. Get everything in order so you can divorce.
Presume there is another woman, but even if there isn’t you deserve better than someone who can walk out at the drop of a hat and no longer want to be a father.

Sorry OP, definitely another woman & likely on holiday. He said he no longer loves you, that is enough to line up those ducks regardless of the OW & there definitely is one.
File for divorce
Apply for CMS
Tell him when he's having the kids.
Take control & get your life back. It seems daunting but it'll be easier once you have a structure to work with. He's a selfish dick & doesn't deserve you or your child. Wishing you all the best 🙏

Am sorry, the way you are being treated is downright appalling. I do also think having an affair, weekends away, now a 2 week (holiday) break.

I understand relationships ending, what I never understand is treating someone you love or once loved in such an awful manner. You deserve so much more respect, even if it is to call an end on things, hate people who play games. Whatever happens OP, stand with your head held high, one way or another things will get better and please don't stand for too much nonsense. Sending hugs.

Two weeks to spend with his other woman, more like.

Sorry, this is rubbish. He signed up for marriage and children, nobody suddenly decides to be overwhelmed some time down the line.

What a dick. Its not your fault.
You are right to be angry.
Don't message him again. And of course, don't drink and dial.
Do contact friends and family to tell them what is going on. Don't protect him.
See a solicitor.
You can't change the locks if its his house too. Who pays the bills?

I expect he is under pressure to leave ' for Christmas' ensure you have plans. And plans for new year.

He has burnt his bridges. Suggest chatting with a counsellor to help you rant and stay focused.

The script. Definitely another woman.

Grab onto that anger and let it drive you to a better life, free from yet another absolute cockwomble of a man who thinks he can opt out of family life because his head has been turned. You are now single. You owe him nothing. Put yourself, your health, your financial situation right at the front of your thoughts. Get to a solicitor. Do NOTHING for your now ex husband. Use the anger to stop your head being turned when he realises the grass isn't greener. You can do ANYTHING you want now. Tell EVERYONE he has fucked off. Let him face their judgement.

Drop your kid to his mums and go out and sleep with someone else. Let him know he will be parenting 50/50, no matter his decision on being married. Prick.

❤️💐 focus on you and the baby, op, and how life will look for you as you move forward as a single mum. Figure out finances, living situations, who you can count on moving forward xx

Your husband has physically and emotionally checked out of your marriage and family life. Unfortunately, I'd probably wager that he's having an affair. He's been spending every weekend staying at his 'friend's place' for weeks leading up to this. Do you know this friend? How do you know that's even true? What were his reasons for staying at his friend's every weekend? You must know that this behaviour isn't normal!! He left 2 weeks ago to 'clear his head' and 'decide what he wants'!! You have moved from the shocked/upset stage to the angry stage - you need to channel that anger into seeking legal advice, and collating all your financial documents to take with you. He's not interested in counselling, because he wants out of the marriage, he just doesn't want to be the 'bad guy'. Have you told his family or your own that he's left? If you haven't you need too, especially his, before he decides to tell them a fairy story! I know it's hard, but you haven't done anything wrong and tell people exactly what he's told you - he hasn't loved you for years and family life isn't for him. Don't protect him! How old is your child? Regardless if 'family life' is for him or not, he is still responsible for your child. You can't force him to see his child, all you can do is make the child available for him to see. He is financially responsible too, so make sure you claim child support from him. I'm sorry OP you are going through this. Your husband is a shit. Don't allow him to call the shots, you make decisions based on what's in your child's and your own best interests, not his. He doesn't give a flying fuck about you or your child.

Sorry op but I would guarantee he's having an affair

He's a dick and 99.9% certain he's seeing someone else. Find your anger and stop pandering to him "wanting to find himself".

Kick him out and hit him for child support. Fucking wanker. Him, not you

You know what is so fucking depressing about shit like this?

They think that they are being oh so clever and oh so original.

Its literally page one of the "Cheaters Handbook".

Get angry, get a solicitor and get a divorce. I give it a month before he says he "just met someone" who he has been fucking for months and she was the "friend" he was staying with every weekend.

Sorry op

OW.

Get him to have your child all weekend, make a claim for any benefits you might be entitled to including child maintenance

Talk to him like he’s a stranger, don’t show emotion

Hes a fool

It’s also possible that he is in a relationship with a man, and going by the experience of two friends whose 29+ year marriages have ended in those circumstances, both believed their husbands would have found it far less difficult to admit to an affair with a woman.