Husband has walked out of family home to clear his head for 2 weeks

[ThatGirlx]

I’d really appreciate some opinions and advice on my current situation.
My husband has recently walked out of our family home, saying he’s booked somewhere to stay for two weeks. He told me that he’s no longer in love with me — and hasn’t been for many years — and that he needs space and time on his own to “clear his head” and decide what he really wants.
While I understand the need for space, I feel it’s extreme for him to completely leave the family home and leave me to care for our child alone. In the weeks leading up to this, he spent almost every weekend staying at his friends’ places, and when he did return, he didn’t bring up any of the serious things he had said — like not loving me or feeling that family life isn’t for him.
I’ve been extremely upset, but lately my feelings have shifted more toward frustration and anger. I’ve tried to be compassionate and understanding of how he feels, but he hasn’t shown the same toward me at all. When I’ve opened up about my feelings, he’s ignored them completely — not responding or engaging in any meaningful way.
Our communication has almost stopped. Even on WhatsApp, he rarely replies, or leaves my messages unread for hours or even all day. I’ve suggested that we spend more time together, and even try marriage counselling, because I feel our relationship is worth fighting for — but he’s shown no interest or effort.
He’s also said that being a father feels like “too much” for him, which I find really disappointing. I told him that it’s normal for life to change after having a child, but he keeps insisting that he hasn’t loved me for many years anyway.
It feels cowardly that he’s chosen to walk away and cut off contact rather than face what he’s said or the impact it’s had. To me, it seems like he’s avoiding the consequences of his actions and struggling with his own inner unhappiness. He’s always been quite a self-focused person, and this has made me seriously question whether he’s capable of being the kind of husband or father that my child and I need.
What hurts most is that he hasn’t even really checked in to see how our child is doing. I just feel completely abandoned and unsure how to move forward from here.

Sorry op but it sounds classic affair behaviour. If he's not been in love for years why suddenly leave? Cos ow is getting impatient most likely. Do you know where he is staying? Take control here and you will get your answer right now he thinks he can do what he likes live the single life and if it doesnt work out come back to you. I would tell him you are starting divorce proceedings and that you need to arrange what days he is having your child going forward

He hasn’t been staying at a friends house.

Re the father thing - to be fair my ex never walked away from the kids (4mths, 4 and 6 at the time) but he wasn’t the most hands on dad - splitting up and him having to parent them 2 nights a week did massively improve his relationship with them.

but yeah he doesn’t get to opt out of being a dad - cowardly asshat.

Ugh, another lying, cheating, gutless rat. Take control and start looking at finances, housing, child support etc. Really sorry you are going through this. He wants you to do the dumping, then miraculously a special female friend will appear at his side. They are so fuckin predictable.

Give him space and focus on yourself. Maybe he's just really overwhelmed.

Nah sorry - fuck that - he’s a father - how overwhelming is it for the OP being left with the kids and treated like this?

poor menz finding basic life too hard so they have to treat their partners like shit and walk out on their kids

How can she focus on herself when he’s left her with the kids? What if she is really overwhelmed?

I'd tell the pathetic coward that the marriage is over but he doesn't get to opt out of being a father. So get the divorce moving and propose a parenting schedule.

I'd check if he's at work. He's probably on holiday with OW.
Get angry. No one deserves to be treated like that. It's cowardly. Respect for that person would totally have gone out of the window.
The immaturity of not being able to cope with being a father is so unattractive too.

He’s walked out into the fanny of some ill advised dimwit. Nothing you can physically do at this point op, he’s cock blind.
What you can do, practically, is get legal advice, financial advice and make a solid plan for your own future and that of your child. More than likely, it won’t work out for him with Miss Shiny New Minge, but by that point? You might well have realised that you don’t need him, at all……

You deserve so much more than this OP. Get legal advice asap.

God OP this has really angered me. The only advice I can give you is to tell him to extend that rental contract, as you've "cleared your head" and now realize you don't want him home. Pack his stuff up in bags and tell him to come and collect them from the driveway.

Cherchez la femme.

Yes there is one.

No man leaves a house where he's comfortable to "find himself". What he means is that he's found someone else to shag.

Time to find your anger OP and remove yourself as an option. Get yourself a solicitor's appointment, and stay strong.

And I'd message him that he can leave you but he doesn't get to leave your child and he needs to arrange when he's taking his 50/50.

You KNOW he's been having an affair and now he's moved out to see if the grass really is greener. If it doesn't work out, he'll be back.
Question is, will you roll over and be grateful he's returned or will you find your self respect and refuse to be treated that way?
He won't be returning because he loves you, although he'll make a huge deal about the 'mistake' he's made and how leaving made him realise what he was giving up blah blah blah. But it''ll only be because she either called it quits or it lost the excitement
This is a fork in the road moment OP. Value yourself and be the role model your children deserve, or be desperately needy and accept his treatment of you, setting the tone for what forever looks like 🤷‍♀️

When men mysteriously fall out of love without warning it's always, always another woman. I'd bet my left tit he's shacked up with her taking her for a thorough test drive before he either comes crawling back realising he misses the creature comforts of home or makes the decision to stay with her.

Divorce.

Im sorry OP. I think it very likely he is shacked up with his mistress. You fairly urgently need some legal advice. What is your housing / job situation. Can you potentially afford rent / mortgage on your income? A solicitor will be able to advise re next steps and divorce proceedings.

You know what you don’t need proof, you don’t even need to be 100% sure. Just what he’s told you is enough for you to decide you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore. And if you said that I’d bet he’d be shacked up with someone within six months.

Be careful OP. Typically the grass isn’t greener. In which case he will be looking to worm his way back in. Citing a mental health breakdown was to blame. It’s textbook, the reason he’s left is to be with another woman. Which is partly why he’s not wanting contact with his child, it’s just not convenient at the moment x

I agree with the other posters everything points to him having an affair and having decided to play house with his affair partner. It actually doesn’t really matter if he isn’t, though I strongly suspect he is, because the level of disrespect he has shown to you is unfixable. How could you ever trust him again with that level of betrayal. You deserve better. Take control and let him go, he is absolutely awful.

Isn't he the cheeky arsehole walking out and leaving his kids for two weeks? Yup he has his sights set elsewhere. He's been planning this. He's not confused. He's a coward.

That’s got affair partner written all over it.
He wants a break to check if he really wants to leave you for her.

it’s the script. he is having an affair. you need to see a solicitor as quickly as you can

Take this as an opportunity to see a solicitor, start divorce proceedings and have a nice stack of paperwork for him to sign when he gets back from a lovely stress-free break with the OW... Then tell him to leave again. For good. What an utter waste of space he is. All I'd feel for him now is disgust...

I would be very tempted to change the locks and tell him to carry on clearing his head if or when he deigns to come back. Message him and say you don't love him either and don't bother to come back. He is totally disrespecting you and yes probably having an affair.