Husband has walked out of family home to clear his head for 2 weeks

[ThatGirlx]

I’d really appreciate some opinions and advice on my current situation.
My husband has recently walked out of our family home, saying he’s booked somewhere to stay for two weeks. He told me that he’s no longer in love with me — and hasn’t been for many years — and that he needs space and time on his own to “clear his head” and decide what he really wants.
While I understand the need for space, I feel it’s extreme for him to completely leave the family home and leave me to care for our child alone. In the weeks leading up to this, he spent almost every weekend staying at his friends’ places, and when he did return, he didn’t bring up any of the serious things he had said — like not loving me or feeling that family life isn’t for him.
I’ve been extremely upset, but lately my feelings have shifted more toward frustration and anger. I’ve tried to be compassionate and understanding of how he feels, but he hasn’t shown the same toward me at all. When I’ve opened up about my feelings, he’s ignored them completely — not responding or engaging in any meaningful way.
Our communication has almost stopped. Even on WhatsApp, he rarely replies, or leaves my messages unread for hours or even all day. I’ve suggested that we spend more time together, and even try marriage counselling, because I feel our relationship is worth fighting for — but he’s shown no interest or effort.
He’s also said that being a father feels like “too much” for him, which I find really disappointing. I told him that it’s normal for life to change after having a child, but he keeps insisting that he hasn’t loved me for many years anyway.
It feels cowardly that he’s chosen to walk away and cut off contact rather than face what he’s said or the impact it’s had. To me, it seems like he’s avoiding the consequences of his actions and struggling with his own inner unhappiness. He’s always been quite a self-focused person, and this has made me seriously question whether he’s capable of being the kind of husband or father that my child and I need.
What hurts most is that he hasn’t even really checked in to see how our child is doing. I just feel completely abandoned and unsure how to move forward from here.

You know he will be having an affair right?

I'm sorry that this is happening to you, OP.

Your husband is a useless arsehole, basically.

Take back control.

Make an appointment to see a solicitor and instigate divorce. You'll come out of this stronger and with your self-respect and dignity intact.

And in the meantime ...

I know I’ve said the same until I’m blue in the face but says no but I don’t know what to believe anymore

Definitely having an affair.
And he is a coward.

I agree - sorry 😔 he’s not alone in that rental - what a twat. Sorry OP - get angry and get organised - you deserve better

That’s because he doesn’t want to be the bad guy and he looks better if he leaves you and ‘meets’ the other woman later on. My ex husband did this and it took him 6 weeks to admit it, even though I’d literally seen them out holding hands together and found evidence of the affair, he just tried to make out I was being crazy. Really sorry OP

I would wager everything I own on that he's having an affair. Of course he will deny it.

99.9% likely it’s an Affair. Sorry. He’s trying her out but keeping options open.

I'm so sorry. Pretty sure it's an affair but whichever way, prepare yourself to be parenting totally solo. I doubt very much he's going to share care of your child, so make sure your support network is in place.

I would put my house on him having an affair. I would suggest you give up trying to reason with him or get any answers because he's only going to say what he wants you to hear in the hope it will benefit him. I would certainly advise you not to trust him with anything. They can be very believable but they are out for no one else but themselves. Be aware that he might turn very nasty.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's utterly shit

Yep mine too - he behaved dreadfully in the 8 weeks leading up to it - constantly causing arguments and demanding sex - then left because of my bullying behaviour? 🙄

8 weeks later he announced his new GF 🙄

but he never cheated!

Sorry OP, sounds like an awful betrayal of saying not having loved you for years- such a horrible thing to say and makes a sham of your lives together. Sounds like a complete arse.

What are your thoughts moving forward?

I hope you will not entertain the idea of ‘making it work’ after he has cleared his head. He doesn’t love so it’s over and you must not let him wheedle his way back in. Sending you strength and hugs!

Im so sorry OP but this is so typically "the script" its laughable. Of course its an affair. They all say the same thing. I don't know how they have the gall. Even down to the I haven't loved you for years crap.
Tell him to stay gone. He is a coward.

There is almost certainly an OW somewhere bin all of this.

Im so sorry.

When they do this, you're non the back foot. They've already got thier head around what's next, leaving you grappling with emotions and still hoping there is some way back.

OfnO had my time again (similar situation) ideally take control sooner.

Force yourself to get your ducks in a row. Get legal advice. Get support from a trusted friend.

Start imagining life without him and put what you need in place now. Even basics like stocking up on nappies/loo roll/washingnpowder if you use a joint account. Every little helps if you end up left high and dry.

Oh no he thinks being a father is too much for him… bless him 🙄. Too late mate you’re already a father. I’d assume the relationship between you is over because he obviously has no appetite for saving it regardless of whether he’s having an affair or not. I’d start leaning on him about his responsibilities as a father though. He does t get to just swan off because he fancies being single. TOO LATE MATE! Do you know where he’s actually staying ? I’d be very clear that you are not available to take care of your child 24/7. When’s he seeing them? Where’s the child going to sleep when he has them ? No you cannot entertain him in the house while he sees him for 2 hours on a Sunday because you’re busy. Make sure you have access to the money and find a solicitor. Sorry for your troubles though OP. He sounds like an arsehole.

Almost certainly there is another woman.

Take control. Let him go. Focus on the practicalities - children, childcare, money etc.
Be prepared for him to come crawling back too. Life on the other side won’t be greener.

He sounds pathetic, and I think you're right to be feeling angry and frustrated. I'm sorry he's let you and your child down like this, OP

Sorry op, sounds like classic affair to me. Either way it would be over for me, he said he doesn’t love you and has walked out, he can bloody well stay gone.

There is OW.

Get legal advice. 💐

He might want out of your marriage but he doesn't have the option to bow out of being a father. Wat an asshole. You deserve better

The script, it's a classic example. Sorry OP.

He has checked out, see a solicitor and start divorce proceedings, what's the financial and housing situation, how old is your child. Let him go, on your terms, stop messaging him, he won't respond, you deserve better and his poor me story is as old as the hills. Why has he gone for only 2 weeks, why not a month or for good?

Textbook affair I'm afraid.

Coward.

Kick him out and don't take him back. Hire a PI if you feel you need proof for your peace of mind.

Regardless if he’s having an affair or not he would not be back in my house. Needing space and time is one thing but not continuing his responsibility as a father is unacceptable and would be the biggest deal breaker for me

Sounds like he is shacking up with the OW and deciding if that’s what he wants, if in two weeks it doesn't work out he will come back willing to try your ways. Take the decision away from him and get divorce proceedings going and take your life back. You and your child deserve more