Husband has walked out of family home to clear his head for 2 weeks

[ThatGirlx]

I’d really appreciate some opinions and advice on my current situation.
My husband has recently walked out of our family home, saying he’s booked somewhere to stay for two weeks. He told me that he’s no longer in love with me — and hasn’t been for many years — and that he needs space and time on his own to “clear his head” and decide what he really wants.
While I understand the need for space, I feel it’s extreme for him to completely leave the family home and leave me to care for our child alone. In the weeks leading up to this, he spent almost every weekend staying at his friends’ places, and when he did return, he didn’t bring up any of the serious things he had said — like not loving me or feeling that family life isn’t for him.
I’ve been extremely upset, but lately my feelings have shifted more toward frustration and anger. I’ve tried to be compassionate and understanding of how he feels, but he hasn’t shown the same toward me at all. When I’ve opened up about my feelings, he’s ignored them completely — not responding or engaging in any meaningful way.
Our communication has almost stopped. Even on WhatsApp, he rarely replies, or leaves my messages unread for hours or even all day. I’ve suggested that we spend more time together, and even try marriage counselling, because I feel our relationship is worth fighting for — but he’s shown no interest or effort.
He’s also said that being a father feels like “too much” for him, which I find really disappointing. I told him that it’s normal for life to change after having a child, but he keeps insisting that he hasn’t loved me for many years anyway.
It feels cowardly that he’s chosen to walk away and cut off contact rather than face what he’s said or the impact it’s had. To me, it seems like he’s avoiding the consequences of his actions and struggling with his own inner unhappiness. He’s always been quite a self-focused person, and this has made me seriously question whether he’s capable of being the kind of husband or father that my child and I need.
What hurts most is that he hasn’t even really checked in to see how our child is doing. I just feel completely abandoned and unsure how to move forward from here.

He's having 2 weeks fun time to see if it can work out with his new 'person'. When he comes grovelling back, kick the c*nt to the kerb and focus on you and your child, no matter how hard it may seem. Your frustration and anger will cement itself ridgedly now he has also chosen to not just ignore you, but your child. You should be livid and I hope you are. Just make sure that once he's gone, you give yourself time to adjust to a happier life, be kind to yourself. Best of luck

Why do some people tie themselves in knots over shit this? Its like when a woman finds her husband's sectret condoms when she has Mirena or the implant and people pile on with "oh he is probably just having a posh wank" (not a thing by the way).

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it isnt a neurological condition.

I'd honestly let him have his two weeks it'll be up and down for you with your emotions for a while but that's all normal.

Take this time to gather your thoughts, I'd go along with letting him believe you think he needs some space and stay put in the house with the DC, sort out any paperwork that needs to be at hand, don't contact him unless it concerns the DC, take all the time you need, play along, play the long game and if by chance he does come back you can accept that he had a blip and the grass wasn't greener, if it was another woman or......
Tell him you now want space to consider what you really want in all this as a DH that's leaves at the drop of a hat with no real explanation isn’t trust worthy.

Don't change the locks - it's just as much his house and contents as yours, and changing them so he can't get into his own house/home could get you in trouble.

Don't go begging for crumbs - not for attention, response, contact, explanations, the truth. You won't get it. This is no longer a relationship.

No point doing the tracker planting, following him, private eye nonsense.

From now on - this is business.

Financial, legal, property, childcare ... It's business.

Seek legal & financial advice.

Gather family and friends around you.

Ensure your story is the one that's told, the one they hear. Because he'll be frantically trying to construct a fiction around what he's doing.

Play along and let him think you're meekly and hopefully waiting on him to tell you what's going to happen. But starting now, be taking control, taking the initiative. Let him be surprised and taken aback.

Good for you op take control he’s a coward and is probably with someone for the 2 weeks might even be on holiday. I would pack up his stuff say you have had a little time too and there is no point fighting for someone who doesn’t love you anyway. Tell him he needs to find somewhere else and he will be getting 50/50custody and start the ball rolling for a divorce he’s made his bed. you will be better off if he thinks he can play you like a fiddle and have his cake and eat it. Lack of communication is your strength now so you can get ready for the fight that’s about to start. Good luck!

Really, don’t waste your time trying to be compassionate and understanding. He’s not worth it and I agree with others that he’s almost certainly having an affair.

Save your energy for looking after yourself.

Never thought he might be on holiday, maybe with his mistress,has his passport gone?
Anyway you can discreetly find out if he's showed up for work ?

Try to treat yourself gently and prioritise caring for yourself and your child. Try to emotionally detach yourself as much as possible. I know that must sound impossible at the moment but your husband is no longer someone you can trust. Secure your finances and important paperwork and get copies of his payslips / pension paperwork etc. File for divorce and get a CMS claim submitted. He has walked out so is it possible to apply for a reduction in council tax? Do a financial assessment..are you entitled to anything as you are now a single parent?

I am just going to leave this here. I told my solicitor that I had changed the locks, even though I knew it was technically illegal. He just said "Thank God!" It was just as well because, husband and mistress were removing everything from the house. I even caught her rummaging in the cutlery drawer!

I've said this on MN before - my ex-husband once told me that women are stronger than men as they'll leave a marriage if they are not happy but a man will only leave if he has someone else to go to.
Not sure if that's true but it has stayed with me. Whatever the reason, he's a coward. Tell him it's too late for him to decide as you've made the decision for him. Good Luck xx

Hi op hope your doing OK, and treating yourself,