Is it unreasonable for husband to give his siblings Power of Attourney (financial), instead of me?

[Imaresponsibleadult]

Exactly that.

I was sorting out a cupboard and found a document dated 2 years after our marriage, giving his siblings financial P o Attorney (England).

He had done this without telling me and his shitty siblings agreed to it!
We've been married over 15 years and his siblings control his bank account and savings if he was unable to??!! WTF

Im not a gambler and don't go nuts with money. I'm responsible- I'm the one who moves accounts to gain more interest!
I'm fuming that he's kept it secret for over 12 years, despite me saying to him that we both need to Wills etc.
Devious!!

You can decide whether or not to notify anyone. It is entirely your choice. OP’s husband clearly chose not to notify her.

Speaking from experience as I work in this industry. If they were to withdraw the money in cash or transfer it somewhere, she might not ever get it back. Cash is completely untraceable once withdrawn and the bank won’t be able to take that money from the siblings accounts to recover it. Transfers are similar, they can’t always be recovered.

Plus she said she is a stay and home mum so I would imagine apart from any child benefit (if they are able to claim it), everything going in will be from his salary so there wouldn’t be much for her to claim is hers in that respect.

@FarmGirl78 Yes, I get that. His sibling and father also had PoA. At the end of the day, whether it's a secretive PoA or a will, it's still an unforgivable betrayal by someone who's supposed to be your partner, in my opinion.

@Imaresponsibleadult Sorry to hear that 💐

Just out of interest do his siblings live nearby each other? Because if he’s put them both on and they have to sign jointly, it will be almost impossible for them to do anything if they live miles away from each other. They won’t be allowed debit cards or access to internet banking and everything will need to be done in person with both present or in writing with both their signatures on!

@Imaresponsibleadult

OK, now take a deep breath and be 'cool'. Try to think unemotionally.

Another poster said you may want to consider that divorcing and claiming your half of the marital assets now (+ I assume child maintenance) may be the safest course for your financial security. I agree.

You need to 'go stealth' now. Gather all the financial paperwork you can get your hands on and make copies/take photos. Put the POA back so he won't know you've seen it. Make an appointment to see a solicitor immediately. Beg, borrow, or steal the money if you have to. Getting expert legal advice to understand your position is imperative. You'll need to present the solicitor with a snapshot of the family finances and have them explain to you where you stand wrt a divorce and division of assets/the home. You're simply educating yourself for now. But forewarned is forearmed.

And ask them to explain the POA in reference to joint assets. I'm not in the UK, but where I am 'other than the spouse' POA does NOT give 'total' power over joint assets. The spouse who does NOT have POA still has to agree to any expenses or disbursements from joint assets. Nor can assets be sold without that spouse's agreement. So here (I know, laws there may be different) the siblings wouldn't be able to drain any joint accounts or assets. The savings held only in his name they might be able to drain. But remember, right now those savings may very well be a marital asset. So don't forget to include them (or as close an estimate as you can) when you see the solicitor.

I hate to suggest this, but could he possibly already be planning his own 'exit' from your marriage? Or have been doing so at one time? I ask this because my son is going through a divorce and one of the first things his attorney did was to have him draw up a new will, change all beneficiary designations, and name a POA, both financial and medical. Here, POAs aren't registered anywhere so it can be easily discarded when no longer needed.

Understanding how POAs work (mostly LPAs nowadays) includes understanding that, while they cease on death, they do cover circumstances where the person loses capacity, eg in a serious illness, coma, etc. So while not bereaved, husband in a coma could leave the OP unable to act without the sisters' permission. There are high profile cases of people left without capacity for years by COVID.

You need to talk with him. Did he name them in case you both were in an accident for example? If you weren't you'd still be able to access the joint account anyway. You need to simmer down as you may have gotten the wrong end of the stick here.

I would not accept this at all. In my marriage we are first for anything related to the other. We're a team. I do have POA for my children but expect that to be changed to their spouses when they marry. At the least I'd separate out finances to make sure I'm secure. The hiding it from you and always choosing siblings first is another matter.

Ring solicitor first thing Monday morning

You sound very unhappy with him, not just the poa stuff

Could be either/both I suppose.

What is the situation with wills if he's saying you need to make one? Both of you? Or just him?

'Yes darling, we need to sort out the wills and the POA situation with your siblings probably needs updating too as that a bit odd they would be able to control your / our affairs if you aren't able to isn't it?'

His reaction will tell you all you need to know?

You can definitely get bank debit cards as POA. My 2 DB and I all had debit cards on DM’s account (Alzheimer’s) we could do telephone banking, but not internet banking.

The LPA was set up jointly and severally, so we could each approve spending on our own. It would likely be different if it was all jointly - really difficult to administer.

Hypothetically I was once in a relationship where I was a toy boy so were I to have set up a PoA it would not have made sense to appoint my partner who was 10 years my senior

But I would have done it openly not hidden it.

Shit

I'm very unhappy.

Yes that’s what I’m saying. Jointly and severely means you can act together or individually which is why you can have bank cards.

if they are only allowed to act jointly, they can’t have those those as they all enable someone to make a decision without consulting the other .

It ends with the death of the donor - what if he has a stroke/brain haemorrhag/traumatic brain injury?
He could have brain damage and not be competent to make decisions.

I'm married to a healthcare professional and I know that advances in medicine keep people alive but not as mentally capable as they were before an incident.

Clearly a minority view but I think it's entirely up to him. Obviously what you do either that information is entirely up to you.

I was my mums poa and my dad never knew. In the event she outlived him, but there's no way she'd have wanted to be left to his tender mercies if she'd developed Alzheimers or the like.

If he is alive and unable to act on his behalf, that’s when the POA comes into effect and his siblings would take over his finances.

If he remains alive but is not competent to make decisions that's when a poa kicks in. That's literally what it's for.

What is the financial history?

He works 7 days a week which is crazy.

You’re a SAHM, can you go back to your career?

Can you leave him and support yourself?

What were the “ previous obligations”?

Was he married previously? Does he have other children?

That being said they would need to register it with the bank so if they haven’t done so already it can take a few days to set up so they actually can do something.

Not previously married . No other kids.
Says he has responsibility to his family- we're his family!

Its jointly and severally.
Says there are restrictions but doesn't say what.