I can’t afford to live…

[Jimmy1981]

Hi, just wondering if anyone has been In My situation and can help me..
I have recently separated, everything is amicable. I moved out of the family home, my wife and two children stayed in the home.
we have a mortgage on the house they live in.
i now have to pay half the mortgage, I also give my ex-wife money weekly, I also have to pay my rent and all my bills. I have a good job, but I’m now over my limit.
my landlord has put the rent up quite a bit. Rental prices are crazy now. Over £1000 a month for a two bed flat minimum.
my ex-wife won’t sell the house, so I need to pay half the mortgage otherwise the house gets signed over to her and I still owe half the mortgage (crazy rule isn’t it!!).
I can’t get financial help as I earn too much. I can’t get a council house as I own a property. I can’t buy a property as have no savings, and if I did want to buy it would be classed as second home so require 20% deposit.
i earn good money, but am at the point where I cant afford to live, I’m even toying with the idea of living in a van. I can’t see how to get out of my situation.
any help would be appreciated. Thanks

Yeah, you do, if you as a pair can't afford to maintain the family home and a second suitable home for the children with the other parent. You sell the family home and split the equity so that each parent can provide a suitable home for the children. This is often smaller/cheaper than the original family home but that's a consequence of separating.

And because he's being a bit of a div frankly

He is getting grief because he is letting Googles AI bot navigate his divorce just as any woman would get

A woman wouldn't go to a forum populated
mostly by men and moan that the law was forcing her to live in a van because it favours women outrageously based on her own flawed understanding of the law after a quick google

probably

You say your divorce is going through.

Have you got a solicitor? That is who you need to take advice from, and draw up a financial settlement. Do not attempt a DIY divorce!!

Many many people have to sell their house on divorce.

When i didnt originally want to sell when my ex husband left me, he threatened he would file bankruptcy to force the sale.

I dont think you have done proper research tbh.

Yeah you do.
Families move home for financial and personal reasons all the time!

You dont get to make them homeless, but you absolutely can push a sale and moving house

Surely this is rage bait? No one is this stupid, surely?

Because he is naive and trusting . Oh kick someone while they are down!
Make you all feel good ?

Hahahaha ok

While I agree it's not nice to be unkind to someone who has asked for help, I do find it remarkable that someone can be married, have a mortgage, a well-paid job and children and then rely on Google as a source of information for something so important.

This. If it’s a choice between a nice house and barely seeing their father or a less expensive house but seeing both parents regularly, I’m fairly sure there would be a lot less emotional damage for the children moving house but seeing their Dad.

with respect, Google is the go to for any information initially!
And, if I Google ‘what happens In the UK if I stop paying my half of mortgage in my situation’ and several UK ‘Law’ websites are telling me this… well then yes, I think it may be a law! Thanks for helping me though, I feel much better now

OP, you need to get actual advice from a solicitor or a financial advisor. You also need to stand up for yourself. You need to put your kids first obviously but your separated wife is no more or less entitled to assets than you are.

Bit that's not what Google says. The very first thing that comes up, and all the ones after it, states that you are jointly liable and you will both potentially default and your credit rating will be affected. Nothing about the ownership transferring. So we are all a bit flummoxed as to where you are getting this from. In any case, get some legal advice asap xx

Can you link to the sites that told you this?

Yep, definitely a joke thread. If not, OP is in deep shit and/or deserves to be taken for all he's got. He hasn't even taken on board that there is no such thing as "UK Law" in this (& many other) context. Perhaps this is why his relationship has died...

unbelievable (nearly)

@Jimmy1981 With respect, you are completely and utterly wrong about what you think the law says. I know this because I represented myself through my divorce and financial proceedings. Nothing you say you've googled is correct I'm afraid. Perhaps make an appointment with a CAB solicitor and they will tell you the same 🤷🏻‍♀️

A useful reading resource for you tonight is the Wikivorce website. A site I used a lot during my own proceedings.

deleting My account now as a bit toxic here, thanks ☺️
just to be clear, for three years I’ve been paying half the mortgage plus giving money to wife every month out of my pay. I’ve not been told to do this, I’ve just done it as I thought I could afford it. I did not want to try to kick them out the house and I did not want them to go without. I’ve managed to just get by myself, but now it’s catching up. I thought it was the right thing to do.
according to people on here, obviously I’m wrong. I’m an idiot for thinking this way, and the right thing to do would have been to force them out!! I’m actually surprised.

So what are you going to do now that you’ve had this advice? Are you going to act on it ?

I hope things work out for you, it must be horrible with all this going on. I can see you’ve genuinely done your best, I’m just not sure it’s fair to you as you’re not managing atm. Taking proper legal advice might help you discover another way forward. That’s all I’d say. Take care, you’re a very loving dad obviously just make sure you don’t get cheated of your rights over time. All the best.

It's not toxic, you're just not listening. You've put yourself in this situation. Please see my posts earlier, there are really excellent resources out there and you can definitely get some legal advice from the CAB. However, without that you're going to continue in this nomansland which is no good for either party. You both deserve to be able to rebuild your lives.

There are lots of things to explore, divison of marital assets, the possibility of UC reducing the financial pressure, speaking to your mortgage provider etc.

However again, the advice you think you have googled is either not applicable in this country and is indeed completely wrong. Please accept that and find the right advice for you and your family. I hope you find a way forward.

Please don’t listen to toxic. .
Some females like to kick the boot in any man .

You can’t do right for doing wrong at times .
Listen to the genuine advice you have been given .
A female would be told to get her free half hour she is due with a solicitor. .Also go to a few solicitors for this free half hour . Then decide the best for you.
Sounds like you are trying to do the best by everyone and it’s came to braking point now .

The house is going to have to be sold and equity split for nee properties for you both to house the kids when you have them .
You are going to have to speak to your wife see if she wants / can afford to buy you out.
If she can’t then the house has to be put up for sale. She will take time but will get her head around this.

Please seek legal advice. Good luck and I hope things get better soon.