I can’t afford to live…

[Jimmy1981]

Hi, just wondering if anyone has been In My situation and can help me..
I have recently separated, everything is amicable. I moved out of the family home, my wife and two children stayed in the home.
we have a mortgage on the house they live in.
i now have to pay half the mortgage, I also give my ex-wife money weekly, I also have to pay my rent and all my bills. I have a good job, but I’m now over my limit.
my landlord has put the rent up quite a bit. Rental prices are crazy now. Over £1000 a month for a two bed flat minimum.
my ex-wife won’t sell the house, so I need to pay half the mortgage otherwise the house gets signed over to her and I still owe half the mortgage (crazy rule isn’t it!!).
I can’t get financial help as I earn too much. I can’t get a council house as I own a property. I can’t buy a property as have no savings, and if I did want to buy it would be classed as second home so require 20% deposit.
i earn good money, but am at the point where I cant afford to live, I’m even toying with the idea of living in a van. I can’t see how to get out of my situation.
any help would be appreciated. Thanks

This 100%, also you can keep an eye on what's going on and be with your DC - even if its not totally amicable many couples co-habit until its completed.

Exactly. Totaly nonsense . Deft not the law

My first google

www.brethertons.co.uk/site/blog/family-blog/will-i-have-to-sell-my-house-if-i-get-divorced#:~:text=Legally%2C%20if%20you%20own%20a,agree%20on%20a%20suitable%20alternative.

Up your google skills or get a lawyer

I do think you’re a bit naive op. Do you really think your wife will be able to move into social housing just like that? How do you think it works?

As what most other posters are saying, the good news is your situation isn’t as bad as you think it is.

When you divorce your solicitor and her solicitor will negotiate a financial settlement. When my exH and I separated he stopped paying the mortgage immediately and I stayed in the home with the children and paid the full mortgage. I then bought him out and gave him half the equity (we had 2 valuations one instructed by each side) as a lump sum and the same time I had the deeds transfers to solely my name. The fact I had contributed more to the mortgage during the period between separation and divorce was taken into account in the overall settlement - alongside all the other marital assets and liabilities.

If I couldn’t have afforded to take on the whole mortgage or buy him out the house would have had to have been sold and I would have needed to buy somewhere smaller/ cheaper for me and the kids.

I should say I needed to remortgage to give him the lump sum, I definitely didn’t have it sitting around.

Because its sounds incredible that you would believe the things you are saying here.

I have 3 friends divorcing. Even though it’s costing them £££ in fees it’s worth the initial outlay. You can get 30 free minutes with some solicitors.

The house sale can be forced plus mortgage companies actually don’t like taking people off mortgages. If they took you off you wouldn’t be liable. All they want is their money back and interest.

As others have said you didn’t have to move out it’s half yours. The money you give her should be child maintenance only. Most couples in your situation sell the house for this reason. Your ex wouldn’t be housed by the council as she isn’t homeless. She has a mortgage and a deposit for rental etc I expect. Universal credit would possibly pay towards her rent depending on her earnings.

To be clear.. you cannot force your ex-partner to sell the home or move out. It’s the law.
It is also a law that the house does get signed over to her if I default my payments on the mortgage, and I will still owe my half.

You need to get actual legal advice not just use google

You're correct that you can't force your Ex to sell, but if your name is on the deeds you can infact stay living there.

Suggest to your Ex that you both pool an amount of money into an account that covers all of the bills you both pay out and share the cost so you're not carring the burden alone or you get to move back in.

If she won't do either you really can't stay in this position long term you need to either suggest putting the property on the market or go to court to get an order to sell it.

Are you being serious? Why should he have to sleep on an inflatable bed because his ex is basically holding him for ransom?

On the social housing point, councils have qualification criteria which usually exclude people who own a home or have a large amount of savings (e.g. from the sale of a home). So, it’s unlikely either of you would qualify for that.

You can check in the council’s social housing allocation scheme, which should be published on their website.

Reliable source for more info: https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/housing_options/allocation_of_social_housing/people_who_qualify_for_local_authority_housing

@Jimmy1981 speak to your wife tell her you can either pay the mortgage as maintenance or pay cma not both .
Is she still pushed for both day the house had to be sold .
You can push for this through courts if need be

In the interim, I would contact local international firms, or head offices of large firms locally and offer Mon-Thursday lodgings, and see if you can fill the spare room when your kids are not there.

How can he move back in if they've separated!

Because he owns the house as much as she does ?

It's his home ?

Yes, the divorce is going through now.
no she would not be able to afford the house or buy me out.
i’m going to have to try and ask her to sell again.

You need to make sure that you have a financial order in place that states the property will be sold.
That's so important as it cuts financial ties.

I very much doubt a court will see a person on their knees while still paying out everything, they'll understand that most can't afford to run two properties and all the bills that go with it plus providing for DC, which should be your only commitment financially once divorced.

Because they have the same right to live in the house!

Why are the replies so arsey.

So what, they've separated which even if amicable doesn't mean it's appropriate for him to move back in. No-one would be suggesting that if he was a woman.

Unless she bought the house before marriage and the marriage has been very short - then it might be not awarded as part of the financial settlement

Is that the case ?

2 friends (both in different couples) are separating/ divorcing just now and on both cases they are still living together. It’s awkward/ horrible (there’s no DV or anything) for them but like the OP neither can afford a second property just like that. One couple is selling- the have accepted an offer now, and the other is buying out her STBX.

Most would be advised not to leave their home upon separation without a fair and agreed way forward.

Mate, do you not even have a solicitor advising you? Of course you can force the sale of the house.

You need legal advice. If the marriage is dissolved the house is usually sold and the equity shared. Get a lawyer before you get ripped off. In the meantime, swallow your pride and register with a community fridge/store. You pay a fee per month (not much, a fiver) and then get a heavily supervised shop each week. I benefitted from this when my life fell through and don’t worry there will be lots more working people there too. I also discovered local initiatives for growing and harvesting food. If you volunteer you get a box of fresh produce for free. They let you go evenings and weekends so avoiding your work hours. That initiative saved my bacon on many an occasion and I don’t mean just with food. Met loads of good folk and a great community/culture of sharing resources and goods. Fantastic craic. I wish you luck with it and keep your chin up.