I can’t afford to live…

[Jimmy1981]

Hi, just wondering if anyone has been In My situation and can help me..
I have recently separated, everything is amicable. I moved out of the family home, my wife and two children stayed in the home.
we have a mortgage on the house they live in.
i now have to pay half the mortgage, I also give my ex-wife money weekly, I also have to pay my rent and all my bills. I have a good job, but I’m now over my limit.
my landlord has put the rent up quite a bit. Rental prices are crazy now. Over £1000 a month for a two bed flat minimum.
my ex-wife won’t sell the house, so I need to pay half the mortgage otherwise the house gets signed over to her and I still owe half the mortgage (crazy rule isn’t it!!).
I can’t get financial help as I earn too much. I can’t get a council house as I own a property. I can’t buy a property as have no savings, and if I did want to buy it would be classed as second home so require 20% deposit.
i earn good money, but am at the point where I cant afford to live, I’m even toying with the idea of living in a van. I can’t see how to get out of my situation.
any help would be appreciated. Thanks

Every couple’s circumstances are different so you need legal advice on your situation. Arrange an appointment today!

Don’t make it up!

Your information is incorrect, get proper legal advice. There's no such thing as half a mortgage payment.

Take care OP, your situation epitomises how one partner ends up in a much more financially precarious situation than the other.
Alot of people always criticise the man, you are clearly a lovely decent person who wants the best for their family

See a solicitor!!

As it’s amicable you could live in the house until it is sold.

Where do you live? You need legal advice, not google. You're misinformed!

Don't take legal advice from Google. Pay for a lawyer to get proper legal advice. You can force a sale if needs be. I can understand that you might not want to allow your kids to stay in the home

Long term you cannot pay the mortgage on your ex wife's house and pay rent/mortgage on your own accommodative as well. Your ex wife needs to buy out your share of the house or you sell the house and she will have to find somewhere that she can afford.

You only have to pay maintenance for your children and pay your share of their expenses such as childcare, school uniform, hobbies etc. You don't need to pay for your ex, she needs to get a job if she doesn't have one already. Your ex needs to check that she's claiming any benefits that she's entitled to.

That is not law in the Uk. You can force a sale - do to court , get divorced, force a sale.

Are you in the UK? You can't sustain the mortgage and rent and paying your wife money, see a solicitor ASAP!

Yes, the divorce is going through now.
no she would not be able to afford the house or buy me out.
i’m going to have to try and ask her to sell again.
no I won’t live in a van.. I was just having a moment… although, some vans are quite nice! 😂
to be clear, she is not being difficult. Maybe she is just in a bubble and not realise my situation fully

As you have no current understanding of the law as it stands it is absolutely crucial you talk this through with a solicitor. Google is not your friend here, except maybe to find the number of a solicitor.

When my ex left ne, I had to cover all the mortgage, and he just paid CMS .

You are avoiding saying which country you live in OP. Any reason for that?

if she can’t afford to buy you out and pay for it it will be sold. It’s that simple

while you can’t force it a judge can and will as part if the divorce

and as you can’t afford to rent now you need to move back in while it’s resolved. It’s that simple too

you don’t need to ask her.
as said stop googling and start getting actual advise from solicitor!

You need proper legal advice. You are finding stuff on Google and then getting irate/desperate about it. At this stage you don't know that she is expecting this ad infinitum.

We obviously have different googles. What did the financial settlement look like when you divorced?

To be clear.. you cannot force your ex-partner to sell the home or move out. It’s the law.
It is also a law that the house does get signed over to her if I default my payments on the mortgage, and I will still owe my half.

In the UK it isn't the law. Which country are you in?

I like in the UK

That is absolute bs. If it were true, men whose wives don’t work or vis versa would take all of the property. Go and see a solicitor NOW. This absolute is not the law. The law states 50/50 as a starting point.

Think how easy it would be for a lot of men to get almost all the assets in a divorce as they’re not normally the ones, who stop working, find work to fit around the family or go part time.

I’ve never been through a divorce. A family member is. They’re 50/50 with the child. The mum only worked for 6 months of the relationship, they married after a few years and had children a long time later. The mum, despite putting zero financially into the marriage, is going to walk away with half the assets, a cool million. And that’s not because she’s mum. The other way round would apply were this the man, who didn’t work.

Now that is the law.

Have you used the CMS calculator? How much is the mortgage and how much are you paying for child maintenance?

How much do you have left, and how much is your rent? Can you have the children more often, that will reduce the CM and make more use of the 2 bed flat that you are paying for.

Go through all your bank statements and see where you can save money.

Work out what you can do to reduce your outgoings. Are you getting the 25% discount for single occupancy council tax.

Can you get a membership to a local attraction, to make trips out with the kids cheaper when you have them.

Are you on a water meter, that may work out cheaper.

Scottish and NI laws are different to England and Wales. Please be specific about which country.

Where do you live that’s easy to get a social house? They waiting list is years in most areas and decades in others.

But yes you need to start divorce.

Do NOT finalise the divorce without a financial settlement. Sale of the house seems the most appropriate outcome