Why are there so many women over 50 who are single?

[Frazzled54]

I was thinking the other night about the amount of women in their 50’s who are single.
I know of at least 10! (including myself)
I wonder if this is because menopause has made them realise they are happier alone so they don't make the concerted effort to meet someone? Or is is because men in their 50’s prefer younger women?
Just pondering really… 🤔

Less patience for putting up with the general crap that comes with single men their age?

Ability to fund their own individual life means they don't need a second wage.

Enjoyment found in friends, pets, solitude first. Appreciation that the kid/husband management part of their life is over.

Not old enough to be of the generation where being married should be a woman's primary aim at all cost.

There are obviously lots of factors. Once you get through the child rearing years it's not uncommon to discover that you might want a different life to that of your husband/partner, and may want to explore that. I think you are terribly lucky if you have a marriage that grows in the same direction together over a lifetime. Often people grow apart, that's certainly my observation on the people I know in their 50s. Those people all have a real zest for life, are learning new things and rediscovering themselves.

Women no longer need to stay in a marriage for security or financial reasons in many cases and I think that has a big impact too.

To the point about women being on their own versus men, I think there might be some truth in this. Obviously, only anecdotally, but the men I know who have divorced from my friends have all been very very keen to couple up with someone else very quickly, they appear to be less content alone. They aren't necessarily going for younger women though.

Because men will settle for someone pretty quickly so long as there’s a pulse whereas women will stay single unless they meet the right person?

I think men find it much harder to be single. All the couples I know who’ve divorced the men have either had affairs or moved on straight away - the women have stayed single and are content to stay that way.

I think the phrase “Merry Widow” covers it!

As soon as I hit peri-menopause, my tolerance of men dropped like a stone and my rage at most of the shit they do (or don’t bother to do) increased exponentially. Not sure how common that experience is, but might explain it!

Because they've realised that very often life is much nicer, calmer, more enjoyable, and more peaceful without a man.

I love my DH, but if we separated I'd happily stay single for the rest of my life. Men are unnecessary.

I’m so sick of reading ‘men prefer younger women’ as a reason that middle aged women have difficulty dating. I think it does women a disservice - Maybe women are wising up finally to the amount of misogynistic, shallow and basic men there are out there and their self esteem is such that they no longer believe that they need a man to make them worthy. Most 50+ men are fat, unattractive but arrogant enough to believe that they’re still a catch.

Most single fifty plus women I know have married disappointing men who divorced them or vice versa and have been disappointed further by the slim pickings since. For my own part, I've prioritised my son and now have a chronic illness and it just doesn't feel worth the hassle.

If my last relationship had not crumbled in the pandemic, who knows but I don't feel I have the energy to try again just now

Because women typically spend the first part of their adult life putting other people first, raising kids, taking on organising and managing everyone's wants and needs and by the time they are in their 50's have had enough. Men don't stop expecting women to do all those things so therefore they stay single and enjoy the peace and contentment.

@summer3219
exactly this.

Ha!
Really, OP? That difficult to guess? 😁
I'm 45, my (very decent) husband of 20 years is 75.
Once it happens and I'm on my own, I won't touch another man with a bargepole, let alone have them in my home.
I mean - 20 years with parents, two years on my own and 23 years with my husband.
Where are MY 20 years?????
Plus, I have never been into having an (intimate) companion, my husband was only a second partner and a last one.
👍

Older men tend to come with more baggage than will fit on one carousel - and if they don't there's probably a reason.

One "second time round" couple I know, whom i would guess to be in their late 60s, are married but live in their own separate houses about 20 miles apart. Apparently, they frequently stay in each other's houses and enjoy each other's company, but both agree the marriage works because their set-up avoids the possible awkwardness of family gatherings with their respective blended adult children and some other relatives, amongst other things.

Em isn't obvious? I'm not quite 50 yet, but have been single for 12 years so far and don't see that changing. Several of my married/ LTR friends have told me they think they wouldn't bother with another relationship either, if the current relationship ended through separation or death.

We had enough putting up with crap from men and value our peace too much now is the simple answer.

And in general, white males over 50 are the most privileged, lucky, entitled but also ungrateful and bitter group of people around. No thanks!

I echo the comments above about being content on my own and the space and flexibility that allows me.

Plus post menopause I'm dead below the waist and the idea of (attempting) to get intimate with anybody does not appeal at all!

I also noticed this in my work place, many women in their over 50s who have remained single.

I concluded its because they are happier alone! I don't blame them, if I split from my husband I would also be the same. I would not bother with a man again.

Because they're past childbearing age so their biological clock isn't putting pressure on them to procreate with some dickhead if they want to have children before it's too late.

In early 50s, currently splitting from LTP of 25 years. Have absolutely no desire to go on to have another relationship with a man, let alone live with one again. Can't see the benefits outweighing the costs anymore.

🙋🏼‍♀️. Because it’s great.
The only downside is (possibly) financial. Need more pension etc.
I think raising a family with a man then going your own way is kind of ideal really.
Anyway is this based on statistics? Are there actually more single women in their 50s than single men? Unlikely. The men can’t all be getting younger women because then what are all the younger men doing?

OK google agrees. It’s about the same. There are more men who never enter a relationship. Slightly more women over 50 (2% more) who are single.

Research shows that the 2 happiest groups are married men and single women.

Tells you everything you need to know.

I guess my situation is different as I had DC later on in life so now in my 50’s they are still pre teens. I’m just solo parenting but minus the man child who was at least here to make sure DC were fed and kept alive when I was working.
It’s hard work.

He swanned off to live his best life with someone a lot younger than him but who has with older DC so they are also free to do what they like.

I guess my main impetus is companionship. I’ll be kind of ok financially once the money side is sorted.
I don’t miss the mess, smell or boring crap s*x that came with him though. Maybe time for me to invest in something from Ann Summers 🍆 🤣

My DP is in his 50s and I am a (slightly) older woman

I'm late thirties and if something happens between me and current partner I am more than happy to be single forever. I just dont need anyone in my life - it's work. I'm done. I enjoy my own company.

I'm enjoying being single mid 50s and have a couple of younger FWB who i don't want anything other than fun and sex with.

No desire to live with a man ever again. Absolutely loving my freedom.

Because they want to be?