ExH threatening to call police

[RBush22]

I am due to move out with my 2 children next week, 1 hour drive away to my mum's house. I have made this known to exH since September, we went to mediation in October only for it to stall as mediator backed my plan and his was totally unreasonable. I then got a solicitor who has written him 2 letters explaining my move and trying to get him to agree - he/his solicitor has disagreed to everything giving no reasons as to why. My solicitor has told me I am not "relocating" so I don't need his permission.

He never applied for a prohibited steps order (PSO) and the latest letter from his solicitor today is that if I do move with the children, exH will phone the police immediately and he will apply to the court urgently (to get them returned).

I am still shaking - is this just fear mongering? Has this happened to anyone?

On what basis does your solicitor believe you are not relocating? And what grounds has his solicitor used for applying for a PSO.

He hasn't applied for a PSO. He knew about this since September. But they are threatening to make one to get the children returned if I do move on the basis of him having parental responsibility.
Not a relocation on the basis that it is only a 1 hour drive / 12 miles away.

12 miles away? How can he object to that?

Would the police do anything? I'm scared to move and get a knock on my door by officers.

Oh my days, he’s going to look a right arse if he calls the police because you’ve moved 12 miles away 😂😂

Why is it 1 hour away if it's only 12 miles?

Are you in London? I can't think where else it would take an hour to drive 12 miles!

I'm not an expert in any way so do not want to give incorrect information but my understanding is you are perfectly entitled to leave with the kids. It doesn't sound like you have any intention of keeping them from him but I'd be wary of him refusing to return them back to you given his behaviour

Yes London!

Just about to ask the same 🤔

You can move 12 miles away! Pay him no mind.

It used to take us 40 mins to drive the 10 miles to my husband’s ex’s house. Nowhere near London, just rural, hilly, twisty roads. 12 miles is nothing, easy for him to still be in their lives. Let him waste his time and money trying to stop you!

Police can only enforce child custody disputes if there's a court order with a power of arrest attached. And in over 10 year of working in a police control room and having taken calls regarding many child custody disputes, I have NEVER actually seen one of these. He would just be told to contact his solicitor.

Does this prevent him from seeing the children as he usually would?

It's a new separation so we haven't even got to child arrangements as he has no clue where he will live. But I have been clear he can see the children when he wants. He's just being so awful and controlling and disagreeing to everything. Mediation was a waste as he constantly disagrees on the basis of his "parental responsibility"

Hi OP, please don’t worry about this. As long as you provide your ex with your new address so he knows where the kids are living, keep lines of communication open as long as that’s safe for you, and make the kids available for regular contact with their dad, the police will tell him in no uncertain terms that it’s not a police matter.

I wouldn’t want my children moved 1 hour away from me, how would you feel if he did this?

If him knowing your new address is unsafe for you, then your general location and a willingness to facilitate regular contact with the kids is all you need to do.

He could've applied to the court to stop me with a PSO but he never did.
It started off amicably - it's a separation - I told him months ago. I am by far the main carer so the kids have to live with me as he is the most lazy and absent dad. Mediation failed. Solicitor letters failed. Now he's threatening police action.

He will know my new address and I will happily facilitate contact - all correspondence has made this clear.

Will the children have to change school ot nursery? One parent can't make a unilateral decision on schools so on that basis he has a valid point.

However if it goes to court (and it may as its a straightforward application) a judge would look at the circumstances and if you have a plan for his contact with children and schooling would not be impacted then it's likely to be agreed. However this depends on how disruptive the move is to the children.

Do you feel safe at the moment or would it be better to leave now?

What's the current division of parental duties?

My sisters ex tried this. Refused to return their kids after his weekend and the reality quickly hit home when he realised that actually meant he'd have to do some parenting, like get them to school regularly (he didn't) and on time (he couldnt). They were back with her before the ink was dry on the child arrangement order and the judge gave him both barrels in court.

Hmm. obviously a lot of bitterness here. I can’t really comment as there seems so much more going on then what was said in you original OP. If he’s a deadbeat Dad it’s different isn’t it. You say access and custody won’t be changing? Will you be facilitating all the travel included with that? If yes, I can’t see how you’re being unreasonable.

It takes me 1h15 to drive home 10 miles in London 😭

The solicitor will write whatever he wants (within reason) if they're getting paid. Ignore.