Partner asked me to leave cause I was upset with his mum

[KristyG]

My partner asked me to leave his house with our 5 month baby after I spoke about his mum. I moved into my partners house which is an hour away from where I’m from and got a new job. 2 years later we had a baby. Since he was born I have found his mother (while a caring, friendly person) to make annoying wee comments about my baby. These comments have always been to me and while small on their own, there have been quite a lot which has left me feeling more frustrated and upset, the comments have been to do with socks and outfits not matching, stains on his pram, giving him too much food, mark on his face that I said should fade in half an hour and she couldn’t believe it was still there. She’s also commented on my makeup and hair saying it looked better than it did the week before. I have not asked for advice from her on any of these things. She also likes to see me every week without her son there for coffees and asks to come along to his baby class. It came to a head the other day when I went round to collect the dog as my partner was working, in the 5 minutes I was there she told me she bumped into my neighbour at the shops who wasn’t happy that she hadn’t seen my baby in months and that I never answer the door to her even though she knocks “quietly” she then suggested I took my baby round to see the neighbour. Straight after that she said that my boyfriend told her we gave our baby a food pouch and proceeded to say that was a lot to give. After that, I got home and flipped telling my boyfriend I wanted him to speak to her subtly about the comments as I am stressed enough, tired with a new baby and don’t need that when I’m just trying to pick up the dog. He did not take this well, spoke to his mum who denied it all and said she’s just trying to help, he’s now accused me of picking on her and lying and asked me to leave the house with our baby and move in with my mum as he couldn’t take his mum being attacked. I feel so upset and frustrated that I’ve been accused of lying. I told him maybe I was more sensitive than usual with hormones, sleep deprivation etc as our baby still won’t sleep through the night but he wouldn’t hear it. I’m not sure what to do now I have this feeling of isolation there now and I made it clear I didn’t want it to be a big deal with his mum I just wanted the wee comments to stop.

It's like death by 1000 cuts what his mother is saying to you. It's neither helpful or justified or wanted.
I agree that if his first reaction to you asking him to have a word with his mother to ask her to stop is that he flies off the handle of reason and tells you to leave, my advice would be to actually do that. Leave. Take the baby with you, along with all important paperwork you may need in the future and go.

When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them. That's the real person they are inside.

Don't hang around trying to make this work as it won't and you'll be terribly unhappy trying to make it work when it can't.

Make sure you have paperwork relating to his income - then leave, He is possibly just looking for an excuse to get you out or maybe he is a spoilt mummies boy. Either way he's useless.

Run as fast as you can to your mums house! You can never trust or feel secure with a man that treats you like that.

also limit the time around his mum with the baby and solo…. She will erode your self esteem

sounds good to me, now you get to have a quiet peaceful time with your mom. Make sure husband and MIL don’t have access to you and the baby for a VERY long time, after all he kicked you out of your own home. I would file for divorce.

How awful that any time you have words he’ll be telling you (and the baby) to move out. That’s a really horrible way to behave and no way for you to live. I’d go and live with my mum if I were you and build a life for yourself and the baby away from him.

This, you may need to apply for a council flat or file for divorce so make sure you have the evidence of him kicking you out.

Your boyfriend is a complete and utter weirdo if he is kicking you and his own baby out for that. Truly awful behaviour. You will never feel secure with him. Leave and build a happy secure life for you and your child.

If you get out of there, you can have distance from his mother who has caused the breakup of your relationship and has manipulated your partner to kick you out.

It looks like the trust you had in your partner has gone as he's chosen to betray you as opposed to support you which should have been his first priority because you are the mother of his child.

His mother is a malicious, cruel and nasty individual who may be motivated by jealousy.

Let’s put a positive spin on this. Your baby will not remember a time when you were together so it’s kinder to break up now.
Disgusting mummy’s boy putting his mother before his child. You know the pecking order now. This is just toxic. To ask a partner to leave with their own child…. Wow!
The idea that a man is prepared to not see his child everyday because of something so stupid blows my mind.

Hard to file for divorce when they're not married
(hint, the clue is in the title, but let's not let the facts get in the way of a good 'LTB!' thread, eh?)

I think you should go where your support is, once you've had some space, have a chat with him about your expectations and what you will and won't put up with.

He sounds a bit of a bully. My MIL is difficult but she's calmed down a lot as the child grows up.

He's told you to move out and go and live with your mum. So I'd be getting on with it. You can't make him let you live there.

Really misogynistic.

There's at least one of these on every thread about the appalling treatment of women by men. The theme never varies: the woman is routinely urged to acquiesce meekly to this treatment and put up with more of the same.

They're like prairie dogs. They pop up without fail.

Get out and don't look back. What a prize mummy's boy a hole

Hopefully you have packed up yours and your babies things and have headed back to your Mum's. At least for a few days. That'll put the wind up him and his mother. Personally, unless he apologised profusely, I wouldn't wish to return though.

I would leave as soon as possible. Having a partner who doesn't support you 100% is worse than having no partner at all. For your and your babies' sake - leave. This behaviour is only going to get worse.

Blessing in disguise op, take that baby and leave. Hes shown his true colours and sounds like your be better off rid of the pair of them

I 100% agree, this poor girl is in a horrid situation with this awful person giving her no support whatsoever. I'm sorry, OP, that he has asked you to leave, but he is not the life partner you deserve,in any case. Start a new life with you and your baby, it will get easier, and you will be better without him.

Fantastic advice

This is a huge red flag. What he’s saying is “you aren’t the most important person to me”. Me and my ex had loads of arguments about him prioritising his own mum’s feelings over mine before we broke up. This isn’t going to get better for you sorry.

My lovely DH now always checks in to see if I’m ok when his own mum is too full on and would always prioritise me. That’s what a good partner does.

What you do now is move back in with your mam. He's confirmed his mam is priority over you and the baby and no amount of screaming or crying will change that. Now his mam knows he will believe her first it's only downhill from here.

Wow you and baby are dumped!
Your DP chose to break your relationship rather than have a discussion
Man of straw
Go with baby as directed and you won’t look back
Best you know his true nature and lack of feeling for you now
and it’s a bonus you aren’t married, nothing to untangle

Leave immediately. Don’t go back.

Your instincts about his mum are 100% correct. She has raised a twat and the less she is around your DC the better. Go to your mums x