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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Partner asked me to leave cause I was upset with his mum

260 replies

KristyG · 14/11/2024 16:49

My partner asked me to leave his house with our 5 month baby after I spoke about his mum. I moved into my partners house which is an hour away from where I’m from and got a new job. 2 years later we had a baby. Since he was born I have found his mother (while a caring, friendly person) to make annoying wee comments about my baby. These comments have always been to me and while small on their own, there have been quite a lot which has left me feeling more frustrated and upset, the comments have been to do with socks and outfits not matching, stains on his pram, giving him too much food, mark on his face that I said should fade in half an hour and she couldn’t believe it was still there. She’s also commented on my makeup and hair saying it looked better than it did the week before. I have not asked for advice from her on any of these things. She also likes to see me every week without her son there for coffees and asks to come along to his baby class. It came to a head the other day when I went round to collect the dog as my partner was working, in the 5 minutes I was there she told me she bumped into my neighbour at the shops who wasn’t happy that she hadn’t seen my baby in months and that I never answer the door to her even though she knocks “quietly” she then suggested I took my baby round to see the neighbour. Straight after that she said that my boyfriend told her we gave our baby a food pouch and proceeded to say that was a lot to give. After that, I got home and flipped telling my boyfriend I wanted him to speak to her subtly about the comments as I am stressed enough, tired with a new baby and don’t need that when I’m just trying to pick up the dog. He did not take this well, spoke to his mum who denied it all and said she’s just trying to help, he’s now accused me of picking on her and lying and asked me to leave the house with our baby and move in with my mum as he couldn’t take his mum being attacked. I feel so upset and frustrated that I’ve been accused of lying. I told him maybe I was more sensitive than usual with hormones, sleep deprivation etc as our baby still won’t sleep through the night but he wouldn’t hear it. I’m not sure what to do now I have this feeling of isolation there now and I made it clear I didn’t want it to be a big deal with his mum I just wanted the wee comments to stop.

OP posts:
TrippingOverDogs · 14/11/2024 16:54

If his go-to reaction to anything he doesn't want to hear is to kick you and your baby out of your home then he's the lowest of the low. You will never find peace with this man and you've put yourself in a very vulnerable position living in his house and having a baby unmarried. Do you have a decent job to return to?

SeulementUneFois · 14/11/2024 16:57

You should call his bluff OP.
Take your baby and go.
Hopefully you're on mat leave - start immediately looking for accommodation and a job away from him, in the longer term.

Anonymityisvital · 14/11/2024 17:05

Yes you should take him at his word and go OP.
That is such an ott inappropriate reaction from him and if this is his go to response- to throw his own child and partner out- then your life with him will be impossible.

Go to your family and start to make your own life but make sure he contributes financially for his child.

BluebellsareBlue · 14/11/2024 17:06

I would be taking my baby and high tailing it to my mums. Is this how it's going to be for ever? You ask him to do something he doesn't like and the threat is your homeless?
Quit while your ahead, move back to your mums and start building your life with a supportive family.

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/11/2024 17:10

Move back to your mum's.

HVPRN · 14/11/2024 17:53

Agree with others. He is supposed to protect you both firstly. Hope you're okay.

CantGetDecentNickname · 14/11/2024 17:55

Please ring your parents or any friend/relative and ask them to come and help you move out.

He has just shown you that he can't handle a simple request to calm a situation before it escalates. Instead, he has accused you of lying and is now trying to throw both you and his own baby out. He is the lowest of the low. This is who he is and his default reaction to anything you do that he doesn't happen to like in future will be to threaten you and his own child with homelessness. A really nasty way to try to control someone.

You need to have a place of your own and your own income so your child grows up in a secure loving home. You need to be in control of your life and never move in with someone again unless your name is on the deeds/mortgage/rent agreement and you have the income to survive if you are suddenly on your own. It is a good thing you have found this out now and not after you had gone on to have more kids with him.

Lean on your family for support and you will find your inner strength and resilience.

MissMoneyFairy · 14/11/2024 18:04

Call your mum, ask her to come and help you pack up and leave, let this boy child's mummy look after him.

Angeldelight21 · 14/11/2024 21:35

A**e. Mummy's little boy.

He should defend you, step up for you and protect you. Shame on him and his stupid mother.

You know what you need to do.

Sending you love and strength Xx

LinaLouLa · 19/11/2024 17:57

Wow. He sounds nice.....completely pathetic and weak.
What man kicks his partner and baby out cos he didn't want to hear a bad word about his mum??! Run.......fast!!!!!! He is not worth it and will never ever have your back and support you with anything.

Thursdaygirl · 19/11/2024 18:42

LinaLouLa · 19/11/2024 17:57

Wow. He sounds nice.....completely pathetic and weak.
What man kicks his partner and baby out cos he didn't want to hear a bad word about his mum??! Run.......fast!!!!!! He is not worth it and will never ever have your back and support you with anything.

This!

HelenHen · 19/11/2024 18:50

Op I'm so sorry! What a horrible situation for you. It sounds very claustrophobic.

You do need to get out of there though. Now he's done it once, this will be his go-to threat and you will never have any stability in that house.

Yummarshmellows · 19/11/2024 18:51

This has got to be a wind up ?? He’s doing you a favour … get out now ! Not a chance you need him x

Anotherworrier · 19/11/2024 18:52

I would go and not come back. I couldn’t have that hanging over my head. What a prick.

User37482 · 19/11/2024 18:52

No decent man would want his child out of his house. Go back to your mums, this isn’t worth the hassle.

Meadowfinch · 19/11/2024 18:55

Move back to your mum's. A man who would turn on his partner and newborn is not worth the space he stands up in.

You and your child will be well rid of him.

LadyGabriella · 19/11/2024 18:56

Leave him.

bluebee17 · 19/11/2024 18:57

He's testing the waters to see how much he can get away with. Big red flag. Tell him you'll be moving back to your mum's and he can make court arrangements to when he would like to see the child.

1stjjohnnymac · 19/11/2024 19:10

He sounds like an r sole 🤷‍♂️

Silvers11 · 19/11/2024 19:11

Oh Lovely. You sound quite young? Phone your Mum, get her to come over to help you move and just go. Your BF is not someone you want to be with. Really.

Mwanamatapa · 19/11/2024 19:11

Take your baby as and dog and move promptly to your mum's. This is not the way a partner should behave.

Your MIL is out of line. She had no right to tell you how to parent your child and make demands on your time.

Tell your partner that you will be demanding child support and that his mother will have no access to your child.

ThisNavyExpert · 19/11/2024 19:12

Hi tail it gal with the bairn back to your mum. Make a log of everything cause when he wants visitations guess who will have the baby

Kneebonefuture · 19/11/2024 19:13

Absolute scumbag. So basically it's his home, that he can kick you out of whenever he feels like it and not yours. What a loser mummy's boy. Honestly leave him.

needsomewarmsunshine · 19/11/2024 19:16

It'll give the neighbour something else to moan about too.
What a piece of shite he is and his mother isn't much better, they deserve each other.
You will be so much better off without either of them and a lot happier too.💯

NothingVenturedAndAllThat · 19/11/2024 19:19

What a horrible man, and what a shame you were already invested in the relationship before you found out. Go home to your mum and never look back.

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