Partner asked me to leave cause I was upset with his mum

[KristyG]

My partner asked me to leave his house with our 5 month baby after I spoke about his mum. I moved into my partners house which is an hour away from where I’m from and got a new job. 2 years later we had a baby. Since he was born I have found his mother (while a caring, friendly person) to make annoying wee comments about my baby. These comments have always been to me and while small on their own, there have been quite a lot which has left me feeling more frustrated and upset, the comments have been to do with socks and outfits not matching, stains on his pram, giving him too much food, mark on his face that I said should fade in half an hour and she couldn’t believe it was still there. She’s also commented on my makeup and hair saying it looked better than it did the week before. I have not asked for advice from her on any of these things. She also likes to see me every week without her son there for coffees and asks to come along to his baby class. It came to a head the other day when I went round to collect the dog as my partner was working, in the 5 minutes I was there she told me she bumped into my neighbour at the shops who wasn’t happy that she hadn’t seen my baby in months and that I never answer the door to her even though she knocks “quietly” she then suggested I took my baby round to see the neighbour. Straight after that she said that my boyfriend told her we gave our baby a food pouch and proceeded to say that was a lot to give. After that, I got home and flipped telling my boyfriend I wanted him to speak to her subtly about the comments as I am stressed enough, tired with a new baby and don’t need that when I’m just trying to pick up the dog. He did not take this well, spoke to his mum who denied it all and said she’s just trying to help, he’s now accused me of picking on her and lying and asked me to leave the house with our baby and move in with my mum as he couldn’t take his mum being attacked. I feel so upset and frustrated that I’ve been accused of lying. I told him maybe I was more sensitive than usual with hormones, sleep deprivation etc as our baby still won’t sleep through the night but he wouldn’t hear it. I’m not sure what to do now I have this feeling of isolation there now and I made it clear I didn’t want it to be a big deal with his mum I just wanted the wee comments to stop.

So sorry OP. I can’t believe he threw his partner and child out. He’s also clearly shown that he doesn’t regard his house as both yours home - it’s his and his alone and he chooses if you and your child live there or not. I think you should take him at his word and leave, at least temporarily. If you want to stay with him then he needs to work on his temper tantrums and how to handle disagreements without breaking up his family. He also need to put you first. And you need to work at making yourself more financially secure and secure in your home- can you put money down on his house and get put on the mortgage? Or sell his house and buy one together? Or can you buy a place of your own to rent out? Do you pay him rent and how do you contribute towards bills and things that need doing on the house? And how do you split baby costs?
that all being said, I do think you should leave this man.

It is well out of order for him to kick you and your baby out. No male protective instinct there I'm afraid.

If his first priority is to kick you out after talking to his mum and be,Irving her I would go, and I wouldn’t be coming back

he is showing you that you will never be the priority

His mother can then see the baby when he has him and you won’t need to deal with her. Maybe she will start with the little digs at you and he will the understand better

Do as he asks, take your baby and leave. You did not "attack" his Mother. He is being pathetic, controlling and very unkind to you. Is he really partner material?
Hope you're ok.
You need to respond to this or this will be your life.
Good luck.

You need to go op this is your chance to escape and get back to your support system. If you break up later he might seek legal advice and block you leaving. Run away.
If he wants you back he can apologize and move to your mums area. He can cover your share of the rent as he's kicked you out and put an immediate claim
In for child maintenance.

No decent man kicks out his baby and its mum don't be silly

I spent my materinity leave with my parents and it was amazing!

What a nasty piece of work. I would move in with your mum and try and distance yourself as much as possible from him. What an utter wanker.

Manbabies can’t cope with having their position as the baby of the family being taken up by actual babies.
Take him up on this.
Go home to your family where you may get some GENUINE, unbarbed support.
Before you do, make sure you have his bank details for CMS.

What a nasty man. Better to leave and never return!

Trust me. Run.

i didn’t. I stayed. I regret it. Things never got better and it is much harder to leave now.

Good Luck! Stay strong. You will be better off on your own. Thank me in a couple of years when you are living your best life.

why are you all still replying to this week old thread

I really feel for you, what a terrible way to be treated by the one person who should support you. If you stay you will be giving a very clear message that you will continue to tolerate his mother’s interference, and accept your partners disrespect, is this the life you want for you and your DC?
He should’ve put you and your DC first, and he should’ve told his mother…, “thank you for your advice, but from now on please understand that the mother of my child is quite capable of making sensible decisions on the welfare of our baby”. But he didn’t, instead he took his mothers side and that shows how much he thinks of you and your DC when he’d rather kick you both out than pull his interfering mother into line. He’s gutless.
Please pick up that phone and call your mum or a friend and move out asap, you will never be loved and valued by this man, and it sounds like your DC won’t either. You both deserve better. As for his mother, well her interference and lack of respect will have lost her her grandchild.

Run! This situation will not get any better.

You have a wet weed mummy's boy there.

Do as requested and head home - hopefully your own mum is more reasonable.

Yes, agree. Take the baby and go.

You'll have less of the interference from his mother and less of his spineless behaviour. What kind of a man tells his partner and baby to leave because he can't tell his mother to wind her neck in a bit when she's interfering and causing upset?

I agree with all the other comments.Get out now he's very immature and obviously doesn't give a dam about you and the baby.I was married to a man like that listened to his mother's every word never believed me,she tried to control all of my life.Get out of there fast I did but wish I had done it sooner Good Luck and find someone who's not a mummy's boy.

Wow. Move as fsr away from him and his Mum as possible. There a life of misery lives.

I hope you're ok OP. You have had some strong reactions here and it may have come as a shock. Unfortunately I think posters are right. His response should have been to protect you (and his baby) and work on a resolution. The fact that he didn't do that, and instead reacted with cruelty does not bode well for your life together. You have the chance to leave and be with family who can be a genuine support to you and I hope you take it. If you leave it too long he may be able to block a move and you will not be able to return to your family.

Huge red flags here. Mummy's boy to start with. I would look to stop going.g round to her house. Definitely not take her to baby classes etc. My MIL used to and still does have digs but being me I gave/give as good as she sent. I would have told her if it bugs you so much clean the stain off his pram. Your DP is taking his mum's side against you and his child. Sounds controlling to me. Tell your DP that he can move out as the law stands he has to provide housing for your child until he/she is 16 or older if still in eduction. Go to Citizens Advice for help. Good luck remember the baby comes first.

@KristyG this isn't really about his Mum. This is a grown up man-child who doesn't like the reality of having a baby and how that affects him. His only thoughts are selfish and all about him.

No decent man would throw their baby and partner out for clashing with mummy. That was just his excuse.

He did this when you were vulnerable and needed him. He is a pathetic coward and you are better off without him and his precious mummy.

A man who can do this is not a man who is fit to be a father and partner. He threw you away like rubbish and didn't care where you ended up and this includes the baby. Remember that.

They say every child deserves to have both parents but I don't agree. If one parent is unfit then you should spare the child knowing that parent.

Block him and his mummy once you get all your belongings back and let him take you to mediation for access (but he won't because he doesn't really want to be a dad). And raise a CMS claim for child support ASAP.

You have your baby and your own family, you will be fine. You will learn from this and never again let a man make you vulnerable.

If he thinks kicking you out is the easy option to take, imagine how much earache he is now getting from his DM about missing her grandchild. Play him at his own game. If you work then contact them and tell them you have been made homeless with your child and you need an extended holiday to sort things out. 2 weeks + should be enough. Then go to your parents or friends and stay with them. Use this time to assess what you actually want and if being a single parent might actually be better for you. Cut contact with your partner and his mum for this time.

I guarentee you they will be crawling over broken glass to get you back asap. If you decide to return, do it on your own terms.

The OP hasn't been back.

This. Do this

Do as he says. Then take him to court for your child support and don't look back. What a scum bag