Partner asked me to leave cause I was upset with his mum

[KristyG]

My partner asked me to leave his house with our 5 month baby after I spoke about his mum. I moved into my partners house which is an hour away from where I’m from and got a new job. 2 years later we had a baby. Since he was born I have found his mother (while a caring, friendly person) to make annoying wee comments about my baby. These comments have always been to me and while small on their own, there have been quite a lot which has left me feeling more frustrated and upset, the comments have been to do with socks and outfits not matching, stains on his pram, giving him too much food, mark on his face that I said should fade in half an hour and she couldn’t believe it was still there. She’s also commented on my makeup and hair saying it looked better than it did the week before. I have not asked for advice from her on any of these things. She also likes to see me every week without her son there for coffees and asks to come along to his baby class. It came to a head the other day when I went round to collect the dog as my partner was working, in the 5 minutes I was there she told me she bumped into my neighbour at the shops who wasn’t happy that she hadn’t seen my baby in months and that I never answer the door to her even though she knocks “quietly” she then suggested I took my baby round to see the neighbour. Straight after that she said that my boyfriend told her we gave our baby a food pouch and proceeded to say that was a lot to give. After that, I got home and flipped telling my boyfriend I wanted him to speak to her subtly about the comments as I am stressed enough, tired with a new baby and don’t need that when I’m just trying to pick up the dog. He did not take this well, spoke to his mum who denied it all and said she’s just trying to help, he’s now accused me of picking on her and lying and asked me to leave the house with our baby and move in with my mum as he couldn’t take his mum being attacked. I feel so upset and frustrated that I’ve been accused of lying. I told him maybe I was more sensitive than usual with hormones, sleep deprivation etc as our baby still won’t sleep through the night but he wouldn’t hear it. I’m not sure what to do now I have this feeling of isolation there now and I made it clear I didn’t want it to be a big deal with his mum I just wanted the wee comments to stop.

You have got caught up in an emeshed relationship- look it up - you need to leave and take your baby back to your mums house op. This won’t get any better.

Can you get any evidence that he threw you and the baby out - screenshot messages, record conversation, etc? May be useful if he chooses to lie about what happened further down the line.

Move back to ur mums. Absolute no brainer.

@KristyG

Absolutely go to your mum's.

It's bad enough that he told you to go, but to cavalierly 'kick' his baby out along with you shows how little he really cares for either of you.

Have you called your mum? More importantly, if you're still at his house, do you feel safe right now?

No none of us know the people involved. What we do know is there is a man who is willing to split up his family, force them to move over an hour away & to be away from his tiny baby all because he didn’t like someone saying something as little as his mum is nitpicking. Kicking someone out of the house they live in as a family IS evicting them & making them homeless. If he can’t handle something as small as this against his mum then what is he going to do to them when he’s more than ‘frazzled’?

@KristyG go back to your mum's! never let his mum visit you again, remember she has no rights! if you get back with boyfriend and she visits, always have your conversation with his mother recorded so she cannot deny it! never trust her again. mind you, this relationship is always going to take second place to his relationship with his mum!!

Take your baby and leave him, his reaction is incredibly harsh and it's better that you're away from that sort of attitude, sooner rather than later.

You got yourself a pedigree Mummy’s boy there OP. It will never change. Leave it to fend for itself and claim CM from it.

GTFO, ASAFP!!

He has sided with his mum over you. He thinks it is ok to take away your home and stability on a whim. His mum is very controlling and doesn’t like you. He is very controlling and will always believe his mother. No good can come of this. Get a relative to come and pick you up, meanwhile slyly try to get proof of his income. Make sure you take any of your paperwork, passports, birth certificate etc. If you can get proof he is throwing you out so much the better.
Now I would guess that his mum is going to give him a hard time if you leave and so he might change his tune very quickly when mum realises she is not going to see her baby. Mum might even turn up - for that reason get your stuff and either go as quickly as you can, or don’t announce it and go whilst he is out at work tomorrow. If mum gets in touch, don’t engage, she is his problem now.

He's shown you who he is leave asap!

I'd pack my bag and take my baby.

You deserve support, respect and security from your partner.

I would make a big stand here. I wouldn't even consider going back until he begged for forgiveness, his mother owned up to her lies and you had security.

I'm sorry to say but you must stand up for yourself and set firm boundaries for you and your baby.

I feel for you, I really do.

He sounds like an absolute bed-wetter. Do exactly what he says and leave.

Are you sure he hasn't just been looking for an excuse to let you go? And now you handed him one on a plate? No one does this if they love and respect their partner, so cut your losses.

Go with it, move to your mum's, and in the meantime make plans to ensure you never go back.

The truth is he is bored of living with an infant who cries in the night and doesn't let him sleep. Bless him. This is an excuse to get the kid out of the house until he quietens down and then will be allowed back.

You both deserve better.

What a despicable response. I am so sorry @KristyG
I hope you have the support you need to remove this awful person from your life.
I wish you all the best x

"high pitched rant"?

Really?

Is she worried you're feeding pouches to a 5 month old? Unless medically advised 6 months is the current weaning recommendation. And in situations where you do start solids early they don't generally recommend processed junk. The pouches say from 4 months as there's no legislation to stop them. Medically they aren't recommend at 4 months.

This. Trust me a mama's boy will never have a good relationship with anyone but his mummy.

He doesn’t love you
if he did he would find a solution, even if he thinks you were over reacting ( you weren’t ) he should just say “ yes babes I’ve noticed I will tell her to stop ( and then tell her to stop )
kicking you and Bsby out when you are in such a vulnerable situation us shit
get out now , I had to put my baby in nursery at 3 months it was hard but I cracked on
don’t ever be vulnerable like this again you should never be reliant in a man

Oh for gods sake. Read the room.

Read the OP's post again. The actual words. Not what you'd like to imagine it says...

His mother... A caring friendly person
She’s also commented on my makeup and hair saying it looked better than it did the week before - perhaps an awkwardly worded attempt at a compliment?

my boyfriend told her we gave our baby a food pouch and proceeded to say that was a lot to give.
This is true, as a PP has outlined - so MIL is trying to be helpful, observing something she probably knows

I got home and flipped...
I am stressed enough, tired with a new baby

Doesn't sound like a calm measured conversation...

spoke to his mum who denied it all and said she’s just trying to help

Denied what? What did the OP actually accuse her of?

he couldn’t take his mum being attacked
I can imagine this was quite upsetting - his partner shouting and ranting at him and forcing a confrontation with his mum

I told him maybe I was more sensitive than usual with hormones, sleep deprivation etc as our baby still won’t sleep through the night
Was this the OP recognising she was perhaps overreacting and trying to explain why she flew off the handle?
I expect the DP is equally sleep deprived. Is he working during the day?

I’m not sure what to do now I have this feeling of isolation there now
The OP is still at the partner's place - she has not been 'thrown/ evicted/ made homeless' etc

The extrapolation going on in this thread is ridiculous!

Unbelievable.

Yes, the room which has got ridiculously out of control with wild presumption and conjecture...

Do you have an ok relationship with your mum ? If so leave with the baby and move in with your mum.