Is a dad buying necessary underwear for his pre-pubescent daughter weird?

[Dadinhove]

I have my 11 yr old daughter 50% of the time. I bough her an extra first bra (same size and brand as existing) for her hols with me. Her mother thinks it’s “wholly inappropriate for me, father to my child, to be buying her underwear and gas threatened to take matters further if I do it again. Am I missing something? What on earth is wrong with a dad buying his daughter necessary underwear like this? Would love to know if in fact I am being unreasonable/ in appropriate.

Are you the mother?

Bloody hell, I probably shouldn't have had anything to do with my 2 older ds' circumcision and the after care then, they were about the same age as the ops dd

@ScrollingLeaves
Does the privacy barrier of buying underwear extend to washing it too?

How often do you get non period bloods on clothes? I can't remember the last time I'm 30 years

Presumably it'd be ok if he was blindfolded and wearing gardening gloves

That's gross one bra in 7 days god what a personal hygiene low does she re wear knickers too?

My daughter wears a croptop/ bra at 10. Both myself and Dh buy our dd and ds underwear. Is your ex saying she wouldn't buy underwear if dd was a boy? I think she's being a dick.

I was going to say nothing wrong with that but slightly suss that OP has posted and not returned to thread

My mum upped and left when I was 11 so my dad had to do all the bra buying and dealing with me starting my periods. I'm not damaged by it.

11 year old bras are essentially just thinner crop tops - it's hardly agent provocateur! My DH has picked up some bras for my DD on occasion when she's needed more and he's in the shop and I buy my DS's boxers when he needs more. Your ex is being weird.

Oh @ScrollingLeaves I completely agree, we’re two dads but we would never invade our daughters privacy in that way, so we don’t risk doing so by buying her underwear, we have her walk around with her bits hanging out instead.

She lives half the time with Dad, she should have everything she needs at both homes not be packing a suitcase to travel between. Dad is responsible for providing all clothing and anything needed at his. It’s not for the other parent to be sending clothing.

Its fine and normal, its just clothes, his daughter needed a spare bra its sensible to pick her up one. Just like it would be fine if he picked her up a swimsuit.

I always prefered my dad to buy me clothes including underwear when I was 9-14. He picked items that looked like what I already wore (plain, usually black and he would check sizes with me).
Wheras my mum guessed what size she thought I was (always wrong) and bought things she liked (very colourful and patterned which always showed through my tops).

It wasn't weird and only stopped when I started earning my own money and wanting to pick out my own clothes.

Of course it's fine. What is your ex wittering about. You are her dad. If she's sick when she's with you, you find her new pjs, if she runs out of tampons, you'd go and get her more. Just the same for a bra.

I'm a single mum to a teen boy. I've bought every pair of pants he's ever owned. I've dealt with some very personal first aid for him too. He needed help. It's called parenting.

This is shocking !!!
I don’t thinks it’s weird at all !!
my dad who brought me up because mother left us had to buy me bras and underwear and sanitary it’s what parents do !! Dad or mum your both parents !!
I feel so sorry for u op x

How on earth does buying her a bra (not even taking her into a shop) cross a boundary? Can a dad not buy knickers for his daughter these days either? Sorry but as other replies also indicate, this is ridiculous.

It’s weird

You almost had me there. Until I got to the last sentence- you were about to get a whole heap of my opinion 😂

Don't be so fucking stupid. He's her dad

I have abso,uteky no issue with a father buying a bra for their 11yo dd. I mean I’d have no issue if they were buying pants too. Just like I’ve bought underwear for my 2 ds at that age.

Also, it’s her first bra, more like a bralette that doesn’t need fitting. Much different than of you were shopping for a 30D bra (that was me as a teen. I hated it)

I do think that going with her next time would be good and so is enlisting the help of the staff there. Depending on your relationship with her, she might or might not feel comfortable about it.

I have no idea what your ex is going on about though.
I’m also wondering how she thinks things will work out when your dd starts her periods. Because she’ll need period products at home with you. She might have period pains etc…. All of which you’ll deal with. Will that also be inappropriate to talk about, buy etc..??

It's not

He didn’t need to take her to a shop. He just bought another one of the same type and size that she already owns.

Jesus

it sounds totally fine, just say "I got you some spare clothes" with a few other things maybe and leave them where she sleeps. my DD is with her dad most of the time. I can imagine the chats they have.....🤔 you could avoid the checking size issue next time by buying a "soft" or pull on type thing in S/M/L if she wears them like a lot of girls do

If you have daredevils like mines …. More regularly than I’d like 😂

(But yes nowhere near as often as period blood)

It's really not weird if it is not made weird. My DD is 11 and her dad was taking her to get school shoes the other day and I asked him to pick up some extra bras gave him the size. She wasn't embarrassed xx