Is a dad buying necessary underwear for his pre-pubescent daughter weird?

[Dadinhove]

I have my 11 yr old daughter 50% of the time. I bough her an extra first bra (same size and brand as existing) for her hols with me. Her mother thinks it’s “wholly inappropriate for me, father to my child, to be buying her underwear and gas threatened to take matters further if I do it again. Am I missing something? What on earth is wrong with a dad buying his daughter necessary underwear like this? Would love to know if in fact I am being unreasonable/ in appropriate.

It's fine if your daughter's fine with it, but I think a lot of 11yo girls would be uncomfortable talking bras with their dad.

She's being ridiculous.

What did she say when you asked her what 'taking matters further' means?

Absolutely nothing wrong with buying your daughter underwear, her mother is being ridiculous.

Is it odd for a mother to buy her son underwear? No. Oddly ridiculous.

What is she no longer had a mother? Tell her to fuck off

Adult me would say no it’s completely fine and normal. However me at the same age found the idea of my dad buying me underwear/sanitary products etc absolutely mortifying. I wonder if your daughter has expressed a similar feeling to her mam? Your ex has massively overreacted though, ‘taking it further’ is insanity.

What a nasty woman. I worked for a single father as aupair with a 15 year old girl with special needs. The mother abandonned them when the baby's needs were discovered.

She was incontinent sometimes, forgot to wipe back or front properly, things like that. The man had to bathe her, show her as a man how women clean themselves so they don't catch infections, buy her clothes, including underwear, what on earth!

My other half (we don’t live together) is a 50/50 dad to two teenagers. He buys them everything they need - clothes, sanitary protection, underwear - he just gets on with it. He rang me last week to ask the best way to get menstrual blood out of a bottom sheet as one of the girls had an accident in the night.
You’re just being a parent. At some point in the next couple of years they’ll want to buy their own so just give them the money and make sure they get measured if they haven’t stopped growing.

He's her dad. That means he does everything necessary for her during the time she is with him, including buying necessary underwear. In a couple of years she'll be able to buy her own anyway.

Exdp has our dd 50% of the tone and barely remembers to feed her at times so if I was your ex I would be ecstatic!!

On a serious note she is probably being an arse, but what is imperative here is how your dd feels. If she is fine with it then crack on, if she isn't then probably best not to repeat.

It is possible that dd has sais she doesn't feel comfy and your ex has just gone the wrong way about telling you without making dd feel bad.

No, however innocent, it crosses a boundary.

In your position I’d have taken her to the shop and asked the female assistant and fitter to help her, then stepped away.

The mother is being spiteful.

How do widowed fathers cope?

Being her Dad does not mean he can bridge the privacy barrier which this bra shopping symbolises.

What? So the dad goes into M&S and buys the exact same style and size as she is already wearing so she has a spare and that is crossing a boundary? No indication that the daughter was with him at the time.

Oh do grow up.

It is more likely he means he has seen the size when doing laundry and picked up the same size when out shopping/ordered online

No store in the world is going to allow a bloke with a kid into the changing rooms in those circumstances.

Talk about sensationalised.

Nothing inappropriate at all you are her father you got her something she needed. Would she say the same if she suddenly started her period and you bought her sanitary products?

Oh don't be daft.

The OP hasn't even mentioned how his daughter feels about it.

Silly assumption there over a bit of material.

You sound like a great Dad - ignore your ex!

What's the privacy barrier for mothers buying underwear for their sons?

It depends on the scenario:

1. You asked your DD for the size / checked labels when she was not wearing them and bought more of the same size - your exW is being very unreasonable and a nutcase

2. You checked the labels while DD was wearing them - not appropriate

3. You took your DD for a bra fitting and was there when she tried it on - not appropriate

4. You took DD for a fitting but got a female member of staff to assist - perfectly normal

You simply bought another of the exact same bra. Of course it isn't inappropriate.

Absolutely ridiculous to say it is!

Nothing wrong with it at all. You’re just parenting your child!

Different.

It's perfectly fine .
As pp have said nobody would bat a eyelid at a mum buying her son underwear.
Does you DW also have a problem with you buying your dd swimming costumes?

Oh good grief.
If my husband didn't buy underwear (and sanitary products) for our daughter there would have been times she would have been stuck in wet and/or bloody underwear for hours at a time.
He has also bought bras because our daughter is a shopaholic and when she decides she wants something in Primark she wants it (autistic.... not spoilt).