Is a dad buying necessary underwear for his pre-pubescent daughter weird?

[Dadinhove]

I have my 11 yr old daughter 50% of the time. I bough her an extra first bra (same size and brand as existing) for her hols with me. Her mother thinks it’s “wholly inappropriate for me, father to my child, to be buying her underwear and gas threatened to take matters further if I do it again. Am I missing something? What on earth is wrong with a dad buying his daughter necessary underwear like this? Would love to know if in fact I am being unreasonable/ in appropriate.

Obviously doesn't, which can be really detrimental to the children

I don't like my dad, but when I was growing up he did all of this for me/with me if my mum couldn't. He was also great over my periods. It wasn't one bit weird - he's my dad and I'm his daughter, it's the people with bad minds that make it weird.

We don't speak anymore but I can give him props for some of the good stuff he did.

She's being ridiculous. The only person who needs to be comfortable is your daughter, and her mother is being off. You bought a like for like bra for your kid, there's nothing odd or wrong about that. I can not fathom how anyone can infer something nefarious from this.

We definitely shouldn't be making young girls feel like they should be embarrassed about periods and bras. Obviously some may be a bit shy or not have the greatest relationship with their dad's or their dad's might be dicks

But if a girl is happy with her dad buying her duplicates of the bra she already has and period pants even so she has what she needs that should be the norm, there's no fuss about it, just getting what you know they wear

I have all boys, I've had to talk to them about issues with foreskin and circumcision, retraction and cleaning as 2 of my 4 have had issues and I've just had an op for potential labia cancer which the older 2 who are now adults/young adults know about . Body parts , underwear and bodily functions shouldn't be anything to be embarrassed about

Edited to say so many women complain that they still do all the buying of everything and all the mental load even when separated that it seems a bit sad to think somethings up when they make sure their children have what they need. I doubt my ex even knows what pants our 13 year old son prefers, boys can have preferences too

Oh really? Just like the mothers who defended the male daycare teacher in Queensland so they could appear cool? That’s what I call nuts you rude rude female.

Armchair psychologist are you? Disgusting.

What privacy barrier? He got another bra for her the same size as the one she had. Presumably her other parent did the fitting with her.

Hit a nerve obviously

So if she gets her period at her dads and she’s run out of tampons etc and doesn’t like her dad buying them, her mum should have to drop everything, buy some and deliver them?

You do realise lots of children only have dads, do you think they walk round underwearless and bleeding everywhere?

Please don't tell me you've bought toilet roll, that's really crossing a privacy boundary 😂

I don't think I've ever seen a man buy a toilet roll, is it a thing now???

I remember being 11 ( I'm now in my 50s ) and buying my first bra and pant set with my mum . Couldn't wait to try it on at home and show my dad . Poor dad went along with it , my mum said he was so embarrassed but tried not to show it and she was stifling giggles . But I was happy and wanted to share my first bra experience with my dad . Nothing improper . I'm just saying that if the child isn't uncomfortable whats the problem we should follow their lead .

Have posted on this thread under my usual name already but using this one for this post as some of the details are outing if linked to my other name. I’ve just remembered something that made me smile and wanted to share it amid the binfire this thread has become!

I had shoulder surgery a few years ago and my dominant arm was completely immobilised. My Dad came to my house a couple of days after surgery to check on me and take me and DDog out for a walk. It was the first time I’d had to get properly dressed since the surgery and I was struggling, so he helped me put my jeans on, brushed my hair and put it in a ponytail and did my trainers up 🥰 it was the first time in about 25 years that he’d had to help me get dressed, but he did it without a moment’s hesitation because that’s what Dads do! He’s gone now but it’s this sort of thing that makes me think of what a wonderful Dad he was.

My God, people saying it crosses a boundary - what the heck? He's her Dad and it's absolutely fine.

The Mum would have an issue if you didn't provide her with underwear and sanitary protection etc. You've made sure she feels comfortable and not made a big deal out of it.

I think It's very odd that some see a problem with this and that advice is not coming from an objective opinion.

You've done great, don't worry.

@Thursdaygirl , ahhhh , don't you know they go in wearing a disguise or one brave guy gets dared to buy them by his pals and he dashes in piles his trolly high, uses the scan and shop so he doesn't have to face any ( yikes ) female staff and dashes out to share the toilet rolls out with his pals in a dark corner of the carpark 😂

I agree.
It's actually really disturbing how some people think.

I get my toilet rolls delivered to an Amazon locker. That way I can go and collect them in the middle of the night without anyone seeing.

You think a father buying his daughter a bra that is identical to one she owns is equivalent to someone accused of child abuse?

you have serious issues.

That's awful :(

My SD was with us when she started her periods. She told DH first and he put a basket on the windowsill in the bathroom with pads, tampons, and paracetamol, which he tops up whenever supplies get low.

To be honest I’ve only really released how fucked up that is/was now I’ve got my only children. I made a shift about five years ago to NOT parent how I was parented. To not normalise being smacked and screamed at and to certainly not normalise all the other crazy stuff including what I posted above.

I have an 11yo DD and an exH.

When she started with a trainer bra he asked what ones to order and a size.

Absolutely no issue. He also buys her pants, socks, swimwear etc. whatever she needs.

We aren't fussy about dad's house stuff and mums house stuff. She has a full wardrobe at his and at mine and things inevitably move between houses. She doesn't "pack" to go to either of our houses. She has a switch and that travels between the two houses but clothes, teddies and toiletries she has a full set in both her homes.

I'm a widowed single dad ,my dad lost her mum at 8 years old, I've done it all periods bras boys , this lady use the term loosely needs to sort her shit out, let her take it further and get humiliated by her peers, , go dad's doing there best, dammed if you do dammed if you don't lol

@Thursdaygirl not sure if I can face toilet rolls yet—oh the shame! What would people say??!!

Sorry for your loss. Thanks for your words though.

Would you have done the same with a son who needed underwear, taken him into a shop, handed him over to a make assistant then stepped back?

She's certainly showing why she's an ex, the OP had a lucky escape.